Sunday, October 31, 2010

The Business Side

A caller asked me about the business side of things today, and I realized I'd never explained that on my blog. Today seems like as good a day as any while I'm contemplating whether or not to post pictures of my Halloween costumes from years past, which are various degrees of unflattering and/or silly, but none of them are "sexy".

On NiteFlirt, the formula is: $0.20 connection fee + 30% commission per minute.

So at a rate of $0.99 / minute:

  $0.99 - charged to caller
  $0.20 - connection fee
  $0.24 - commission
  $0.55 - what comes to me, which is 55% of gross

But at a rate of $1.49 / minute:
  $1.49 - charged to caller
  $0.20 - connection fee
  $0.39 - commission
  $0.90 - what comes to me, which is 60% of gross

NiteFlirt does round in our favor on the 30% commission - it's actually 90.3 cents per minute, so approximately every 3rd minute makes 0.91 - in an hour on the phone it makes a difference of 18 cents at that rate. That's nice.

For those of you doing the math, that adds up to $54.18 per hour, which is a fabulous rate! But then, take into account:
  • It's self-employment - I'm a contractor for NiteFlirt, not an employee, so taxes aren't withheld, and I have to pay my own Social Security, and there are no health or unemployment benefits.
  • It's not constant - For every 12 hours of being online and available for work, I'm lucky to get 3 hours of on-phone time. I don't think I could get 40 hours of on-phone time even if I left myself logged 24 hours / day, 7 days / week. Heck, I'm not sure I could get 30. 18 hours on-phone is a great week, and I've only hit that while being available more than 70 hours. That's a lot of time to not leave the house and stay in the mood for sexy time.   
  • It's not predictable - For every busy Tuesday, there's a dead Saturday waiting right around the corner. For a while I thought I could predict a minimum weekly average, but I was wrong: it can inexplicably drop to nothing for days.
The advantages to the job seem obvious to me, but just in case you're curious what I think they are:
  • Flexible - I choose when to be available to work, and I can change my mind at any moment by just logging in or out. There are no minimum hours, no set schedules, and no asking for permission for time off.
  • Creative Ownership - I write my listing. I do a blog, Twitter and/or Facebook if I wish. I can create more listings for my same user name, or even create more user names. I can be any persona I feel like being. 
  • Great Overhead: I was a technical consultant for 14 years, and I NEVER got 60% of the bill rate. Ever. I was lucky to get 30%. The 35-45% that NiteFlirt gets paid? That pays for advertising, a very complicated telecommunications backbone, a huge web presence, and ongoing commitment to customer support (they've credited customers for disconnected calls, etc, when the glitches have interfered with the customer experience, and yet they still paid me for those minutes). Sure, it's not a perfect system, but I don't have to build or maintain it, and it almost always works as it's supposed to, so therefore I love it.

NiteFlirt pays well for the industry: many phone sex services pay $0.30 - 0.50 / minute, have minimum login requirements, and mandate personas. So a worker on those lines makes less, and has less control, but usually gets more calls (especially late nights and weekends).

Other services like NiteFlirt exist, but because this blog is linked from my NiteFlirt listing, I can't tell you about them (which seems perfectly reasonable). I have logged in with other services, but at the moment, I'm only logging in to NiteFlirt because it produces the highest call volume.

Did I miss answering something you've always wondered? Leave a question in the comments and I'll answer it!

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Not Til I'm Ready

This morning, I logged in for 2 minutes, then realized that my allergy medicine hadn't quite kicked in enough for me to feel sexy (Central Texas is famous for fall/winter allergies), so I logged back out.

"Agent Jones" caught me on chat during that 2-minute open window and answered some questions about my listings, which was super helpful. Then he asked if we could play. At the time, the thought of engaging sexual energies sounded like work. Now don't get me wrong, Jones is one of my favorite callers (his role plays have been featured here a lot), and he gives me his opinions on my listings and pay-to-view offerings, so if anybody could have tickled my fancy, it would have been Jones. But I like the happy, easy, comes-naturally memories we have - I don't want to spoil them with the stain of pushing myself or straining. So I said no.

Then I watched an episode of "The Antonio Treatment" - Antonio is an HGTV Design Star winner with an LA rock 'n' roll attitude and an awesome bulldog. I'm horrible at decorating, and since I need to reorganize the Fuckatorium again, I thought a design show might fascinate and inspire me. Thankfully, the meds kicked in, watching all those hunky carpenters build and install amazing pieces was energizing, and the guy who owned the newly-redone bar was grateful enough to leave me all happy and optimistic.

And now I'm thinking, "What the hell was I thinking earlier? Where's Jones? Come back and play!"

Ahhhh yes, there you are, Galiana! Good to have you back.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Too Many Pictures!

I've spent most of my off-phone time today trying... yet again... to figure out a better way to present and organize the packages of pictures (and videos and stories) I have for sale.

They sold best when I was just starting out, and had just a few packages to offer - they had full descriptions of each package, right under the text of my listing.

But there's a 7,000 character limit for the listing, including HTML, so when I added picture sets, I shortened the descriptions. After an initial spike of people buying the new sets because they were new, sales leveled off to a slower trickle than with the original format. 

So I converted the majority of the text in my listing to pictures, which shrunk my HTML considerably, but I still only had room for very short descriptions of the picture sets, which didn't boost sales.

Then I set up MyFlirtStore, which lets me post all my picture sets with preview thumbnails and nice full descriptions, but it has 2 issues: (1) the lovely flash widget that scrolls through my picture sets doesn't work on mobile phones and sometimes inexplicably fails to load even on desktops and (2) people don't necessarily trust going to another site. Sales spike a little on the first day I post each new item, but overall, they're still lower.

(Note: MyFlirtStore is like an extension of NiteFlirt more than another site - it's run by a Flirt, approved by the NiteFlirt Play Fair team as a valid link, and most importantly, the only form of payment you can use is your NiteFlirt account, so it works exactly the same way as buying something off someone's listing, just with more pictures and words. There's no account to create, you just browse, then pay via NiteFlirt. It's clever, well-executed, and kind of awesome.)

So the ideal would be if I could list all my offerings without using flash, in my listing, with preview thumbnails and nice full descriptions, without hitting the 7K character limit. Now it is time for my sad face because that is impossible. /sadface

What I've settled on ... for now... until I inevitably change my mind again... is to have one of my listings converted to a "pay-to-view" listing. It's here: Galiana's Pay-To-View Listing. It has images & descriptions of 8 of my most recent / popular PTV items, with a big fat link to my MyFlirtStore store, plus it has the Flash widget.

Then my other listings will only have a few items listed with a big fat link to my PTV listing, and MyFlirtStore, and the Flash widget. I'm hoping that will be enough to redirect interested traffic. But maybe the initial interest was mostly people with a "new girl" fetish, and maybe it's unrealistic to think that I can sustain that level of interest long-term. Who knows? I think the purchasing habits of horny men are difficult to predict on this small of a scale. 

Interesting factoid about NiteFlirt pay-to-view items: when you set up a pay-to-view offering for sale, you choose which listing it belongs to, and that is the listing that gets the rating points when you give feedback. So giving feedback on pay-to-views helps just as much as feedback after calls, but it may get directed to a different listing than where you found the item. All my PTVs send feedback to my Women Home Alone -> Sex listing right now, but if I wanted to boost another listing, I'd send them there.

I need to wrap up my listing edits, and my blog post, so I can get ready to hang with out-of-town guests, and maybe go to a zombie party for an hour or so. See you after I have my fill of brains!

Storyline Part B

I love when callers continue narrative storylines from the fantasy of their previous call.

The most common continuation is when the first call is a neighbor seduction fantasy, where I seduce him, overcoming varying levels of protest. The next call is either our second time together, exploring what we left out the first time, or he's been avoiding me, but I can't help myself but come back for more.

On my first call with "Office Crush," I confessed my massive long-term crush on him and we got naughty in the conference room. The second call, we took it to a hotel room later that night, unable to keep our hands off each other after our tryst had begun so explosively. He called later "between meetings" to pull me into his office for a quickie.

Similarly, "Reluctantly Seduced", who I trapped in a side bedroom and took advantage of at a holiday party, hadn't called me back even though I'd given him number. But when I ran into him at the mall, I not-so-innocently asked him to help me pick out a dress for a wedding I was attending, and then once I had the dress, what about this lingerie too... Thankfully, after that, he just gave up and called me for our third meeting in my hot tub.

My one caller who wrestles with me in the ring keeps track of who won last time, and I try to remember tricks that kept him on the ropes for future calls. I think I'm ahead overall, because he hasn't told me the tally in a while.

One sweet babysitter had a heck of time with the dad - he caught her masturbating, which kicked off their relationship, but the next time she realized he'd been on a date and had sex with another woman! Her jealousy gave way to reluctant lust that time. But her moral demise was really sealed when he gave her slutty clothes and a trench coat and met her out back of her favorite restaurant in an alley...

And then my escort found the guy who liked dirty talking call girls working their way through college when he returned to town for another convention. This time, she went a step further, instead of just offering to be his slut, she offered to be his little painslut on a whim that he might like it a little rough.

The continuations are such fun. It feels like we are building a story together over time, and each episode adds richness and deepens the connection between the characters. Poor little sex-scrambled seducers and seduce-ees!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

1K Congrats!

The systems of ratings and points on phone sex services can be confusing. I have a listing rating, a star-rating, and a super-secret ranking rating.

The super-secret ranking rating is an unpublished formula which heavily weights towards activity in the past two weeks. That rating determines where you show up if someone browses by category. So if someone hits the home page (there are 6 randomly determined listings on the home pate), then chooses "Find Women" or a subcategory underneath that like "Women Home Alone" or a sub-subcategory under that like "Sex", the super-secret ranking determines the order. Long calls, feedback, people adding money to their account while talking with you, and pay-to-view sales all factor into it. I've been as high as #5 overall (Find Women).

The star-rating is based on 1-star to 5-star feedback from callers (5 is best). Most listings have 5-star rating overall, and most people only leave 5-star feedback. My casual observation is that much 1-star feedback comes from people who previously gave that same operator 5-star feedback, so it looks like someone in that situation had a bad day. If I were choosing a provider, the written text feedback would be more important (the more articulate and specific, the better!)

The listing rating is a published formula: You gain points for positive star feedback (+2 for 5-star) and long calls (+2 for each consecutive 15 minutes), and you lose points for missing phone calls when you're supposed to be available. Those points don't fade every two weeks like the super-secret ones, so the more listing points someone has, the more phone calls you know they've made overall.

My first listing just hit 1,000 points! Actually, it hit 1,002 last night while I was on an 85-minute call, which gave me 10 points all at once. Oh, hey, or maybe it was that 4 points of new feedback which I should really send a thank-you for, but didn't notice until just now.

A thousand points in 3.5 months feels like a fantastic accomplishment. I may even treat myself to an out-of-the-house breakfast to celebrate! It seemed very far away when I first started, that's for sure. Awwwww, I feel all grown up and validated /sniffle.

Thank you!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I Am For You

At the end of "Perfect Mate", the Star Trek: TNG episode that gave me the phrase "empathic metamorph" (as I describe in nauseating detail here), the empathic metamorph says, "I am for you, Alrik of Val." By that statement, she means that as an empath, she will know what Alrik of Val will want from her, and as a metamorph , she will transform to meet that need. Her priority will be his needs, not hers, because she is for him.

(I know, technically, she's not a metamorph anymore at that point because she had bonded with Picard, which gave her a high regard for her moral and civic duty, even at the cost of great personal sacrifice, but let's just gloss over that explanation for the sake of narrative efficiency in my blog, shall we?) 

For a while, I couldn't pin down an answer to the question, "What is the difference between Galiana and your off-phone self?" because I bring so much of my self to the phone, and into Galiana. But finally, through a series of fascinating conversations with friends and family and callers, I can answer it:

Galiana is for you. My off-phone self? Not as much.

It's not that my off-phone self is uncaring, it's just that she ... wait... I shouldn't call myself she... ummmm... let's give her a name, shall we? Galiana is my phone sex self, and my off-phone self is... Chooser! That makes sense (at least if you've read this blog post). Okay, so where were we?

Galiana is for you. Chooser is for me, at least as her first priority. Chooser makes sure that before I lavish attention or affection or assistance on someone else, that my needs have been met, so that any giving is from a place of strength. Chooser makes sure I don't forget to eat, or drink, or go to the bathroom between calls.

And sure, Chooser makes choices that help others. The wedding last weekend is a great example of that: I ran myself ragged helping out as a bridesmaid, not hesitating to go up and down those stone stairs again because some message needed to be conveyed, not picking a seat for my husband and I until I knew the families had room to sit together, not getting food until everyone else seemed settled, standing by the door for the last hour to guard the party-favor-truffles from thieving munchkins (how often do you have the chance to use the phrase "thieving munchkins"? Not nearly often enough, I'd wager).

But Chooser also made sure I rested the week before, and that I rested up afterward, and that I handed off tasks to others who could help as often as it was efficient, to minimize the wear and tear on me. 

It's a matter of priority. Chooser's first priority is me, and as long as I'm good, then she gives freely to those around her. Galiana's first priority is you, and as long as you're good, then sometimes she gets selfish and begs to come, or spins a fantasy in a way that gets more of her juices flowing, or withholds the really dirty nasty phrase with that word she knows you love to hear until you're allllllmost there because that gasp and that growl and that power in shoving you over the edge like that is just. too. fun.

A recent conversation solidified the difference between Chooser and Galiana:

I'm supportive of my husband's gaming habits, so much so that I joined World of Warcraft with him and played for 5 years (until vertigo hit - too much zooming and swooping). Lately he's been playing Minecraft, a solo world-building game with a cool success story behind it for the guy who single-handedly wrote it, and a growing community of geeky enthusiasts. The first few hundred times that he showed me something cool he'd built, or explained something new he'd found, it was interesting.... but...

We were getting ready for bed, and he was telling me about how he's learning to preserve his gear by building these totem-pole-ish things to mark his spot and putting his treasures into a chest nearby, just in case he falls down a hole into lava. And he was telling me in that "I'm dumping things out of my brain and don't care if you're listening" way, not that "I'm saying something important" way.
Chooser: (realizing I was falling asleep standing up) Yaaawwwnnn bored now (walk away)
Hub: (following me, as if I said nothing)... but I have to make the totems really tall, because sometimes I've gotten very far away before I die ... (continues on for a few more minutes before pausing)
Chooser: (blank stare)
Hub: (expectant face)
Chooser: (with no interest in my voice or face whatsoever) Totem, trunk, lava, find. Mmhmmm.
Hub: (disgusted) I'm gonna tell Galiana. She would totally listen to me.
Chooser: (doubled over laughing)
Galiana: (perky and attentive) Really, honey? What do you lose when you die? Is that just when you die in lava? What if you fall? What can you put in the trunk? What do you have to carry with you? How do make a trunk? How long does it take to get back to it? Where do you spawn after you die?
Hub: (grinning, kisses me) Fuck off.
(laughter all around)
We had been talking about the Chooser / Galiana split, so it was only a matter of time before he used it against me somehow. It was pretty awesome.

And to be clear, it wasn't that Chooser didn't care, Chooser was simply prioritizing "going to sleep" over "keeping myself awake to continue discussing a game I'll never play, which we can talk about tomorrow when I'm more awake." Galiana would have chosen to drink some more caffeine and keep digging into interesting aspects of Minecraft.

She's still me. She's just me for you.

Why Not Cam?

I've had requests to get on camera (very flattering, thank you!), but I am not yet ready to do so, so I thought I'd explain the bazillion things I want to have in place before I begin. And while we are paying our bills and accumulating some savings on good weeks, we haven't rebuilt our savings to the point of covering a full month's expenses yet, so I won't spend big money on new toys until that goal has been met. Safety first!

(Donations via tributes or Amazon Gift Cards are happily accepted to start a Cam Fund if it's important to you. Sizable donations would certainly speed the process. But I'm not holding my breath - I haven't attracted "sugar daddy" energy so far, so it seems unlikely a Cam Sugar Daddy will magically appear.)

To start, I need a better camera. HD quality. With remote zoom and panning, and the ability to attach a grip or tripod. The ones recommended (via Consumer Reports, Amazon reviews, and informal feedback from other cam operators) run several hundred dollars. What I have now is just the camera in my laptop, which (1) doesn't offer me a lot of angle choices if I also want to be able to see what's happening (2) gives off a creepy blue glow that reflects in my glasses and makes me look like an alien robot - which if awesome if that's your thing, but it's not for most of you (3) has okay picture quality, but not good.

Then I need a real live land line, instead of Voice Over IP, so my voice calls aren't competing for bandwidth with the camera. I could direct voice calls to my mobile phone, but that can be dicey; it would be better to just get a physical land line. We built this house not expecting to need a land line, so this house has literally never had a land line installed, so it would require extra installation charges. When I started phone sex, I didn't want to invest too much in it in case I didn't like it (obviously unnecessary caution there), and it was easier and cheaper to set up VOIP. 

Then I need to decorate the Fuckatorium. It's stark right now. Decorating is not my forte. At. All. I like feng shui for decorating because it gives me a direction so I don't have to choose from the overwhelming feeling of being able to choose anything in the whole world. When my living and working spaces have been decorated, my mom or sister usually did it, and although my sister would love to help, she hasn't been up in ages, and although Mom is supportive, I just can't ask her to go that far.

Decorating the Fuckatorium also includes finally deciding how I want it functionally arranged. It's not set up completely right for my use yet, and I've rearranged it three times already. I need a lot of stuff close at hand and well organized just for phone calls, much less cam: of course the bone phone (and the recharging backup phone), but also my cell phone in case I get texts or personal calls, my computer to take notes or watch a camera during calls, sex toys, a spot that's not on anything wood for sex toys to air dry if I've recently washed them, a drink, snacks... and ideally all of that would be within reach from a variety of positions so I can ergonomically shift all day. 

Paint and light. Right now the walls are a light beige color, close to the color of my skin, which washes me out to nothing, so I need to repaint the room before decorating. And then after I paint, I need to figure out lighting: how to get good enough light so nothing is hidden in shadow without being blinding or throwing off my ability to fall asleep... I perk up in very bright rooms, so if I did cam late at night in a well-lit room, it might literally shift my sleep patterns by hours. I'm not trying to be difficult, I swear, I'm just trying to be honest about how my body responds to light.

Then, true confession: I do not usually lounge around my home in makeup and lingerie. I do often lounge around completely naked because I'm lazy and I like being naked, or in just 1 or 2 pieces of clothing (like a bra and a long-sleeved button up shirt) that I tossed on when the dogs needed to go out that morning. But getting on cam means I would have to actually think about how I was dressed.

And wearing makeup more often means I'd have to get more disciplined about skin care. I have sensitive skin, but it's not dry. The natural oils keep it looking young, which I like, but the sensitivity means I break out like a teenager unless I give my face careful attention at least twice a day. And if I leave makeup on overnight, like if I casually fall asleep in the Fuckatorium, I'm fighting my face for a week to soothe it back down. I'm 40 for goodness sake, why am I still dealing with this? 

Last, but certainly not least for me, is figuring out how to do phone sex in a way that I still enjoy while on camera. When I've played on web cam with out-of-town lovers, I can get so distracted by watching my own goofy expressions that I sometimes forget to just relax and enjoy myself. I close my eyes a lot during sex, to concentrate on the physical sensations, and let those sweep me into a place where I'm not thinking as much, where I'm just feeling. When I open my eyes, it is easier to get back to a place where I'm too much in my head.

The same is true during phone sex, but even more so because I tend to close my eyes and go to a whole new place. I remember one call where he just said we were in a hotel room, but I could see every detail: the crisp, white sheets, the privacy sheer window coverings under a heavy layer of light-blocking fabric, the urban view out the window as if we were hundreds of stories high, and the raised bed, so it felt as though I was floating on the top of the world with him.

I don't know how to do that and also be aware of what I look like on camera. And I don't know how to have phone sex without doing that. I mean, guided masturbation makes sense, and that would be super fun on camera, sure, but when I try to figure out how to accomplish any kind of fantasy or role play, I get kind of baffled.

So. That's the super-long explanation of "Why I Don't Do Cam... Yet." And hopefully, if you do use the services of women on camera, you will now appreciate their offering more fully!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Confessions and Lurkers

Confessions: I got an awesome email over the weekend from someone who's been lurking - she read I See You! where I blatantly made up stories about who reads my blog, and turns out I was right - she wants to become a dominating mistress type of PSO, and she's been reading my blog for advice (I'll let you know when she launches). She said I "outed" her - too cute. It was super fun to have one of my make-believe stories turn out to be true!

OK Lurking: Last week, I revisited my love for OK Cupid's data analysis by posting this to Twitter,"Dear @okcupid data analysis team, I'm a married #phonesex worker, but I have a crush on you. This offer is not a joke:" The offer was that I'd give them free minutes and get off while they told me about their work.

Guess which page has been getting a couple of hits a day since then? /squeeeeeeeee Oh please oh please oh please...

P.S. If you're reading this, your analysis of bi/gay cruising habits was so awesome I almost cried.

BDSM Lurking: Yesterday a new thing popped up: someone found the blog via a Google search for: "bdsm domination submission". Most people find my blog via my phone sex listing, so the traffic goes from listing to blog, and then from blog to call, but as far as I know, nobody has yet found my blog first and then called me.

A few times each week, someone finds my blog via search, but almost always by the term "galiana chance", which means it's probably a regular customer who doesn't have the blog bookmarked, or "sybian video", which means they find this page. But since that bdsm search, this post about domination and submission has been read multiple times.

Oh, the possibilities! Oh, the stories in my head! Someone who's trying to figure out if they're interested in BDSM? Someone who knows they're interested, but trying to learn more? Someone in the lifestyle for 20 years who finds my flip-flop perspective interesting? And why did they hit the page several times? Were they interrupted? Or did they bookmark it to re-read it later? To show it to their lover? I'M SO INTRIGUED!

I should quit compulsively checking my stats, making up back-stories for blog readers, and finally organize the pictures from my Sept photo shoot for sale. But how can I, really, when data is so interesting and tasty?

Welcome Back Indeed!

I had an awesome welcome back day after my three days off:
  • I logged in to an email from a guy I talked with for the first time last week, which said "Sorry I hung up last night.  Listening to you being naughty caused an incapacitating orgasm on my end that I was unprepared for.  Thanks for one of the best calls ever." Who gets giddy every time she thinks of the phrase "incapacitating orgasm"? I do! 
  • I had four nice long luxurious calls today: two with new friends and two with "old" friends (although I'm older than they are, and I've only been doing this for 3 months...), which were varied and original and fascinating.
  • But one of the long calls (a new caller who said "I think I just found my new best friend!" Awwwww), got cut off at a near-critical moment of him teasing and edging me - darn it! Thankfully, about 5 minutes later, right about the time I was starting to calm down, but be a tiny bit disappointed about having been left hanging, another new caller wanted to hear me come hard and fast. Hooray for well-timed quickies!
It was a GREAT day. Thank you - I'm happy to be back! /blowkiss

P.S. I think I should start an opt-in email list along the lines of "I've been teased to the brink of sanity / had a crazy sexy dream / had too many calls cut off / etc, and need to come hard (which is much easier and more satisfying for me to do with a partner than to do alone). First guy to call and get me off with no teasing gets 3 minutes free." But that would just be crazy, right?

Monday, October 25, 2010

GFE (GirlFriend Experience)

I've thought about converting one of my lower-volume listings to advertise "girlfriend experience" (aka GFE in the biz) (...she says as though she's been in the biz longer than 3 months and 10 days...). The concept is that we chat and get to know each other, keep up with each others' lives, as well as have smokin' hot phone sex.

I'm grateful to say that I've had experiences like that with some people already - I feel like I have a sense of their lives, and the more often they call, the more in tune I am to what pleases them sexually. But those have happened naturally, so it feels sort of weird to me to advertise that.

What if I find someone boring? (That hasn't happened often - usually if someone is interesting in chatting, they have interesting things to say) Or worse, what if I find them offensive or rude? (Also rare) Would I "be forced" to pretend to enjoy their company because I advertised a GFE? (No, of course not, I can choose not to speak with anyone for any reason, but it feels odd)

On the other hand, I love talking with people repeatedly, and having long, meandering conversations, which is kind of at the heart of the whole GFE idea. I like to think that I do the "caring about you as a human being" part of a girlfriend experience with everyone, regardless of which listing they call, or how long they're on the phone. 

What do you think? Keep the listing in Spanking that nobody calls anymore, or switch it to a GFE listing? Or just add a GFE keyword to the listings I already have? Decisions, decisions...

A Bridesmaid and Her Shoes

I was a bridesmaid this weekend, which is why I was away. It was a wonderful, fun, celebratory wedding with very few logistical problems, lots of smooching by the happy bride and groom, and lots of cheering by the crowd.

I love helping at weddings. For my first wedding, I had it all under control until everyone started asking me questions about every little detail, because they didn't want me to be upset at anything. Turned out, what upset me was the number of @#$%ing questions I got asked about crap I didn't care about.

For my second wedding, I decided to care about five things (food, pastor, dress, music, video) and I told everyone I did not care about anything else, so if there was a decision to be made, please make it without asking me. It was lovely, stress-free day.

So my goal at a wedding is to protect the bride and groom from questions, to leave them free to be social with friends and family. My husband got into the helping spirit as well, and we were the only couple in the wedding party not looking after children or elderly relatives. So after a few rounds of us asking, "What can I do?" everybody recognized us as the go-fers, or as he put it, the people playing "troubleshooting whack-a-mole": someone needs water, a safety pin, a straw, tummy medicine, a band-aid, wrangle the families and keep them close for pictures, this child needs to be transferred to that parent, someone needs to attach the boutonniere to the 4-year-old ring bearer who thinks flowers are for *girls* /sigh /ExasperatedEyeRoll. 

Before the wedding, I was determined to get a few pictures of me all dolled up in my bridesmaid attire to share here with you. During the wedding... well... maybe I wasn't thinking about it as clearly.

When I went out to the pumpkin patch, I remembered to get this picture! (the church has a pumpkin patch in late October, so the bride and groom got some festive outdoor photos after the ceremony)

Oh, oops. I'm holding a list of stuff I need to remember, I have my practical-but-not-sexy purse slung over my shoulder, and I'm holding my sexy-but-not-practical shoes which I definitely wanted a picture of. Well, it helped me remember I wanted pics, anyway, so I took this one:

Oh, that's better! The purse and list are gone and I have the right shoes... wait, what? Why are my sexy shoes on the ground by my feet instead of on my feet?

Oh, here we... No. This is the rehearsal. These are my everyday shoes. Useless.

This one shows ... well... the back of my shoes. And the dress is now inexplicably blue instead of purple. But it's a step in the right direction. (get it? *step*... /groan)
Okay. There it is. The best picture we got of my fantastic pedicure and my adorable shoes. That is as good as it gets. Pitiful, Galiana, just pitiful. Where are your priorities?

Oh, and speaking of having my priorities all wrong... Apparently, since I didn't talk to "Office Crush" on Friday or Saturday and didn't get a "Go Cats" (details here), it's my fault Northwestern lost homecoming. How could I?

P.S. Sorry I failed those of you with a foot fetish.

P.P.S. It's good to be back.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

I See You!

I see you! Okay, I don't really see you specifically, but I see anonymous traffic trends, and I have fun filling in the blanks.

Over the last couple of days, someone has looked at all my posts regarding my listings and redesigns, which normally don't show up in traffic. I imagine it's another PSO, thinking about her layouts, and I hope what I've written is helpful. (Side note: This makes me realize I should have an archive of how my listings have changed over time. I have the HTML but not the screen shots. Some day when I'm bored I'll do that.)

Every time I see a traffic spike on an old post about a call, I wonder if it's that caller going back to that page. How many times has he read it? Does he only read it when he can't call? Or have I permanently reduced my call volume by giving him a way to relive a lovely memory without picking up the phone to create a new one?

When I get an overall increase without individual pages being hit, I imagine someone starting from the beginning of my blog and reading through. I wonder if it's someone who has called, or someone too shy to call? (don't worry, I usually only bite upon request) And how can I tip the scales to make him call already? It's a challenge.

Is checking stats trends three times a day semi-compulsive? Or flat-out compulsive? Annnnnnnd, what about three times an hour?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

All About Me

I know my other two posts today have been about calls, and I'm about to do a third post today about a call, and I should really not be damn lazy and try to mix it up with something else, but you know what, Inner Editor? Look at the title of this post and guess if you're gonna win. 

I just spent 29 minutes* talking with a gentleman in a hotel room, relieving himself of his travel boredom. He had emailed me about continuing his fantasy from his last phone call, but "before we start" this time, he wanted to ask me a few questions. What did I think about... how did I feel about...

Emotional sadism. Physical masochism. Having a dominant share you with another dominant. Making fun of a man for the size of his penis. Playing over the phone in spaces that may not be possible to exist physically. Role playing people who can easily say things I could never spit out in a million years. The way I visualize someone's sexual energy when I'm toying with it.

It would have been like a sex-free phone sex set-up call, except that we knew each other already, and 26 minutes into the call, he confessed, "It probably won't surprise you, but I've been masturbating while listening to you talk about yourself," and his voice had that raggedy edge, and I knew he was close. I laughed, a surprisingly mean girl laugh if I do say so myself, and said, "No, it doesn't surprise me in the least. You're going to come for me, aren't you?" Heck, yeah, he did.

Is it bad to say that I loved having a call that was all about me?

* As long as we're all about me here... we get points for every 15 minutes of a call, so when the call ends at 14, 29, 44, or 59 minutes, a part of us cringes a little. Yes, we're grateful for every minute, of course, but couldn't you have hung on juuuuuuuuuust a smidge longer? Since feedback also gives points, the only way to make it better is to give great feedback. You, by the way, are not at all responsible for this information. In fact, the correct response is for you to not give a fuck in the slightest and continue on as you were.

Dammit, Chance!

Dear Galiana's Inner Slut,

Pay attention, girlfriend. The next time someone wants you to tease and sensually dominate him for 45 minutes, DO NOT get distracted getting your damned rocks off and finish up at 35!

Just because he started begging at 20 minutes, and you know exactly how it feels to be in that position... you remember when someone saner was in charge of Galiana's body, and whoever that dumbass was said you could go for an hour of teasing without climaxing, and then 20 minutes in, once you're completely in charge, and thoroughly fuck-drunk, you were saying things like, "ohdeargod, there's no way, I'm not gonna make it" and begging to come as if your life depended on it. I know, sometimes you didn't make it.

But this is a BUSINESS, woman. Don't be weak. Don't get so sex-scrambled that the only thing you can think you want is to ride that cock till you both explode.

Stay on target. Stay. On. Target.

Would you ... fortheluva... quit licking the juices off your vibrator and listen to me?!?

Dammit, Chance!

Most sincerely,
Galiana's Inner Drill Sergeant

Corrupting Newbies

I might have just done a bad thing. He said I'm his 3rd phone sex call ever, that the first was probably a man, the second seemed strung out or drunk, but that he likes curvy, shorter, older women... so he "is probably in trouble" with me.

He likes women in nylons.

I asked if he wanted to kneel in front of me, where he could see what kind of panties I may or may not be wearing, and have me rub my hose-clad feet up his thighs, over his belly, onto his chest, and feed my toes into his mouth. His "yes"es sounded sincere, and maybe a little pained.

Or if he's ever had a woman press the soles of her stockinged feet together and slide his cock into the space created by the arches. His orgasm at the very thought was enthusiastic and rewarding.

He might have been playing a fantasy role. It might have been a lie that he is a newcomer to these parts. The fact that he'd called back again after two strikes meant that he was likely to keep trying, with or without me, right?

I don't consider myself a femme fatale, the seductress type who leads men to their ruin. I like to think I'm helping people by providing high-quality services that they were going to indulge in whether or not I joined the profession.

But man... that was kind of fun.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Next Few Days

I'm in a wedding this weekend. It's the bride's first wedding, at age 39. She deserves everything to be perfect, and I'm gonna do whatever I can to help make that happen.

It means I'll have a limited on-phone schedule. Here's the rundown:

  • Wed 10/20: Call me! (after about 3 pm Central) 
  • Thu 10/21: Call me! (most of the day)
  • Fri: 10/22: miss me... very sad, I won't be on. Which is why you should call on Wed or Thu. 
  • Sat 10/23: miss me even more... two days away, how could I? 
  • Sun 10/24: Call me and tell me how much you missed me! 
And actually, about Sunday: if you know you want to talk Sunday, I'd love an email telling me about what time if you know, even if it's approximate. I suspect I'll be resting between calls on Sunday, but if I know you're calling, I can try to be mostly on for your time frame.

(And actually, that request-a-time-frame thing works for me any time. I can't promise nobody else will call because the system doesn't do scheduling, but I'm happy to tell you ahead of time if I plan to be on around that time.)

Monday, we're back to normal!

And since taking a Friday and Saturday off does significantly alter my projected revenue for the week, if you've been thinking you want to give me a call but not sure when, and you want extra gratitude in your thank-you follow up note? Wednesday or Thursday would be excellent choices!

(And while we're on the subject of You Helping Me... I'm trying to drive up the rating in my Women Home Alone - Sex listing, which is here - if you usually use another one, could you switch to this one please? Thanks!! )

Heartbreak and Phone Sex, Part III

Part I was about a first -time caller who captured my concern.

Part II was about a regular caller who may have been a two-way addiction.

Part III, today's blog, is about my co-workers, other phone sex operators (PSOs).

I had a new caller over the weekend, we'll call him "Evanston Crush" because he lived part of his life in Evanston, where I went to college (Go Cats!). He'd been reading my blog for two weeks, trying to resist calling me because he didn't want to know if the persona in his head was different than the reality (which I find endearing and flattering).

We had a really sexy call: he asked me about my open marriage, how I pick lovers, how I've explored to  know what I like sexually. Then he started describing all the ways he would enjoy my body, starting with the heart-flutter-inducing, "I would take you under the bleachers at Dyche Stadium and press you up against something solid with my body, grab that incredible ass, and just make out with you for hours." I developed a huge crush on him, instantly (And yes, Dyche is really the name of the stadium).

Our call was suddenly cut off, which is never fun, but usually I can just brush it off. This time I went totally high-school-mentality, "Ohmygod, what if he doesn't call me back? What if I did something wrong? What if he doesn't like me?" And then I laughed at myself, wrote him an email saying I hoped he was okay and I'd love to know why we got cut off, and I looked forward to talking with him again.

Still laughing at myself, I wrote a post on a forum for PSOs titled "Developing Crushes", admitting that I got irrationally attached to some callers. But don't worry, I said, I wasn't giving out my personal info, and no free phone calls (that would be the ultimate taboo on that list), but sometimes I spend more time than I should on email exchanges.

A day later, I checked to find an astonishingly high number of responses. Some were wise and cautious, including warning me that some callers were playing just as much a fantasy version of themselves as most PSOs do, an idea I hadn't consciously considered. Some were empathetic, "Me too! I chat with this one guy about (this topic) for hours, and it makes my day when he calls." And some patted me on the head as a newcomer and told me to be safe with my personal information, but to keep enjoying myself before I got all jaded and bitter.

I expected a few "something is wrong with you" responses, and I got some, which didn't bother me. What did bother me were the responses that conveyed "something is wrong with the men who call us." I don't mind people disrespecting me, but I found it troubling that PSOs would express distaste bordering on contempt for the people who call them.

At first I found it annoying. Then I found it sad. But it has lingered with me for a couple of days now, and I realized that I'm a little heartbroken again.

There are human beings on both sides of the phone line when someone calls. Yes, it's a job. Yes, callers are customers and the call is about meeting the customer's need, not mine. Yes, it's foolish and emotionally dangerous to start relying on customers to take care of you in any way (a lesson I haven't learned completely since sometimes I beg to get fucked over the phone - details here and here - but I consider that within the very limited realm of things I'm comfortable relying on my clients to provide me).

But to spend all day on the phone with people, choosing to distance yourself from them because it's just a job, and you're just about the money, and thinking they're just using you so you might as well just use them... It made me want to hug some of them and tell them that they didn't have to work so hard to protect themselves. That not everyone is out to just use them. Not everyone is trying to hurt them. To let themselves enjoy the company of the people - the real live living breathing humans - who have picked up the phone to engage sexual energies with them. To let themselves draw strength and power from the sexual energy being poured onto them and through them. That it is okay to have cracks in your defenses if it means you can enjoy the sights and sounds and smells and tastes of your days as they pass, instead of hiding away from all the pleasures so you don't run the risk of the slightest bit of pain.

There's a specific mental picture that's breaking my heart: a phone sex provider, feeling lonely or bored or isolated, choosing to ignore all the things that may be interesting or fun or delightful about the person on the other end of the phone. It tears at me to think those moments are being spent together, yet the opportunities for mutual enrichment are being squandered.

I hope, I hope, I hope that every friend of mine who has allowed me to be a significant influence in his/her life, that all of them can see me as an example of someone who understands what it is to be deeply hurt, and yet still chooses to enjoy each possible moment to its fullest, rather than try to live behind a wall, separated from the people I come in contact with by my own fears or judgments.

It's your life, and it's the only one you get! If you have to spend a moment with another person, why wouldn't you want to squeeze every possible good out of that?

I know there are other NiteFlirt phone sex operators who truly enjoy (at least some) of their callers (even if they would never call it a crush), and I'd like to give them a shout-out (in alphabetical order because I could never rank them):
Thanks, ladies, for helping unbreak my heart - when I picture YOU on the phone with your callers, you are exchanging energy, and finding ways to enjoy it when you can. /smooch

Monday, October 18, 2010

Teased Until Greedy

Well, tonight I seem to have lost my damn mind.

I had a series of calls... And you know what? Good for me - any problem that starts with "I had a series of calls" is a good problem to have.

But... I had a series of calls where the caller either wanted to be teased, wanted to tease me, or wanted to talk about sexy things. But did not want to have sex. Or wanted to, but didn't make it there before they came. Like 5 of them in a row.

When I was on the phone with the last one, I got an email from a switch saying he'd stick around a while to see if I got un-busy, but did I want to play tonight maybe? And did I want to top or sub or just be lazy and explore? I got off the call, read that email, and wrote him back immediately. And ... honestly... now I'm horribly embarrassed... BEGGED him to call me and top me and fuck the everliving shit out of me, PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE. I think what I actually said was, "Inner Slut is driving the bus and nobody else will even get close to the controls until she gets what she needs. Hard. Fast. Deep. And dirty."

Thankfully, he was still around. Thankfully, he was in the mood to indulge me. Thankfully, he fucked the everliving shit out of me indeed. After we were done, I had to log out for a while to catch my breath and recover.

I feel like maybe I should have paid him... /blush

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Help Me Help You

Not to be too terribly immodest, but ... I do some parts of my job pretty well. I take decent notes. I'm honest about everything that doesn't invade my privacy. And I think I have a readable, entertaining blog that answers a few common questions, and gives people a way to keep connected even if they can't call me.

However, I am not good at reading minds.

I mean, I'm pretty good with taking hints and pushing past those into the next logical step. But if you tell me you just want to hear me get off, I will not intuitively guess that you like to wear women's silky panties and be fucked with my strap-on. If you tell me you want to masturbate with me in charge, I will not immediately intuit that you want me to take you to a glory hole to kneel on a dirty floor and suck a big black cock.

The possibilities are too endless. It may seem obvious in your head what is enticing and sexually charged, but chances are good that on the day you call, one person wanted to face fuck me and someone else wanted to be teased until they begged to come.

And about ass play: many guys are turned off by the thought of playing with asses - their own, or anyone else's. It is clearly in my best interest not to turn off my callers, so I tend to not bring it up. But if you have butt plugs and buzzy toys and dildos prepped and you're hoping to use them, or dying to rim me, I'm up for that. I'm just unlikely to propose it unless I know that's what you want.

You may wonder if your fantasy is over my limits. It might be. But it is the wrong approach to try to ease into it by suggesting things that inch towards your goal. That's just being manipulative. Instead, tell me what you want, and if I'm not willing to meet you there, I'm absolutely willing to talk openly about what else we may have in common.

(Well, okay, except for the guy who wanted to be forced to smoke crack and super-glue shut the opening of his penis while having diarrhea... That one was too many incompatibilities at once to bother starting up the conversation. Yes, that was an actual request. Thankfully, those types of extremely incompatible requests happen less than 1% of the time. I don't let bad eggs worry me. Oh, and speaking of eggs... no, no, no, never mind, you don't want to know.)

As long as we're talking about the potentially awkward, let's just hit it all, shall we? Budget. Let's not make this difficult. If you only have 10 minutes, tell me, and I can push you harder faster deeper, and enjoy it. If you want to stretch it out and spend the better part of an afternoon coming three times over a couple of hours, by all means, let me know. And if I'm so bold as to ask how long we have, don't be embarrassed to tell me. Honesty only helps both of us.

I unconsciously make dozens of tiny choices on the fly with every conversation: pace, volume, pitch, breathing, level of dirty talk, emotional intensity, my intellectual abilities, and how quickly I climax (a blessing of control for which I am forever grateful). Any of those can be adjusted at any time if something isn't working, as long as I'm aware that a change that needs to be made.

You won't hurt my feelings. You'll just make it more fun.

So please, tell me what you want.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Main Pic

This has been my main thumbnail picture:
Which came from this picture, which I love so much, taken during August's very amateur at-home photo shoot:

It was about 2 a.m. and I was feeling sleepy and lazy and sultry. I love the little grin.

I just changed over my main thumbnail pictures to this:

Which is a cropped version of this, which I also love so much, taken during my 40th birthday celebration photo shoot by the incomparable Vivian Ronelle:
I was being a dork and taking pictures of the people taking pictures of me. I don't know what I was saying, but I know I was being a big goofus and amusing myself. My skin LOVES that woman's studio. Who has skin that perfect? I don't. I mean, the picture is utterly untouched, but my skin looks more amazing when she shoots me than I feel most days. 

I think the maroon-kneeling-stretching seems more overtly sexual, but the yellow one seems more happily mischievous. I'll probably switch out depending how I'm feeling for my general listings.

I also switched the thumbnail for my new Oral Sex listing. Vivian also took this one, much later on the same night:

I can't post the full version of that picture... I don't think. The nudity thing is confusing on here.

Anyway, I had just dismounted from the Sybian, swiped a big glob of Galiana juice off it, and sucked it off my finger. I was exhausted and overstimulated - it was like 1 a.m. and the shoot probably should have ended two hours before this point, but the pictures are certainly honest. I'd sweated  through my makeup until it was no longer helping me, and you can see the few wrinkles I've started developing. But I know I feel just like that - a certain comforting escapism happens to me when something wonderful is in my mouth, and I think she caught the feeling of it.

What do you think? Which one(s) should be my cover thumbnail? One of these, or some other picture of me?

Domination and Submission

Who is really in control when one person is dominating and another is submitting? Who really has the power there? It's trixie, isn't it? Especially in the world of phone sex.

When someone calls my submissive line and asks me to dominate them, I've come to understand that what they want is a non-scripted topping. They want me to control them, but they want something specific that is springing from their imagination, instead of from the fantasy that someone else has constructed.

If I were a strict, traditional, ritual-based or humiliation-based Domme, I'd tell them to flog themselves for the impertinence of suggesting that they know better than I, and continue on My training program for them with no regard for their desires at all. And, honestly, then I'd be bored. Plus, then, they'd be gone to the next submission line to try to find someone who can give them what they're craving.

But instead, I listen and ask questions: How much pain do you like: spanking, floggers, paddles, clamps, slapping? Humiliation or encouragement or both: name-calling, setting up impossible tasks to punish you for failing, setting up tasks for you to succeed so you can be a good pet? Exhibitionism: have my friends to come over and watch or participate? Bondage: making you hold yourself still, or getting tied up? Feminization: panties, dressing up, makeup, being entered like a woman? Sex: being guided, tease and denial, eventual release, plugs, cock rings, getting pegged?

I don't ask all of that on every call, but that's the idea: I need to know what you enjoy so I can give that to you. So. At that point, who's in charge? Sure, I'm calling you bitch boi and stuffing my strap-on into your mouth, but if I know you love it, then really, I'm serving you.

I'll share a secret with you: When I'm being submissive to someone who understands what pushes my buttons, I think I get the better end of the deal. I get all the attention. I get someone using their creativity to drive me crazy, to explore and see just how many noises the Galiana Squeaky Toy can produce. I get to feed their pleasure and feel them feeding off mine. Maybe they're getting something out of it, too, but I usually feel selfishly, greedily, deeply satisfied after being well-topped.

So I understand what bottoms want. Well, bottoms like me anyway.

When BDSM is cooperative and interactive, the way I like it, and maybe even sometimes playful (/gasp - oh the heresy!), control goes both ways. Attention goes both ways. Passion goes both ways. Ideally, even creativity goes both ways, although more subtly from the sub. They're flip sides of the same coin, domination and submission.

Wanna flip a coin?

Friday, October 15, 2010

Big Black Cocks and... Dishwashers?

Someone on the phone today asked me where my Big Black Cock was. And the winner for "Potentially Least Sexy Answer Ever"... the dishwasher.

For a while, it lived on the washing machine, but it still had that new-dildo smell, so we decided to round up all the dishwasher-safe toys and wash them all.

Some are Vac-U-Loc attachments (the white ribbed thing near the top is an awesome Vac-U-Loc handle so you can get a better grip on them and keep them a little stiffer).

The blue thing on the right is a Feeldoe, which I enjoyed using tremendously, the few times I've used it. 

The black and silver handle near the top is not a sex toy; it's a steak knife. Obviously we were comfortable that the anti-bacterial toy cleaner (and, for most of these toys, months/years of not being used) had done their job.

This, I am somewhat embarrassed to say, is only a small portion of my overall toy collection, most of which I amassed when I was single in my early 30s. I was experimenting! I had expendable income! It seemed reasonable at the time... but now it seems a tad excessive, honestly. I don't want to throw anything away because a) they don't recycle, and b) what if I want something else just like that some day?

I've thought about laying everything out for pictures by category, with stories about the individual items if I have them, but haven't gotten around to it yet. Would that be interesting or just time-consuming and self-indulgent?

Regardless, at least now they're all clean. And, thankfully, a little less pungent!

Happy Quarter Anniversary!

Today I have been a phone sex operator (PSO) for three months. Happy Quarter Anniversary!

My husband and I have a tradition at milestones (anniversaries, birthdays, holidays): we go to dinner someplace yummy and quiet-ish, and each answer a few questions. We've had wonderful conversations that way, so I'm going to continue the tradition here. Feel free to ask other questions if you have them.

What is your favorite memory (from being a PSO these past three months)?
There's no way to pick only one. If you go to my blog and click on the "fave" label, so far there are 31 entries! But if I break into categories, I can come up with a few memorable standouts.

Fave introduction: "Perv Card" saying "After reading your feedback, I'd be a dumbass not to call you."

Fave subject change: "Doc Cupid" starting the conversation all toppy and growly, and when he had me tied down and teased and confused and begging, asking me, "What were your SAT scores?" (read my listing if that doesn't make sense)  

Fave role play: Cat-burglar-ing into a safe and being caught by "Agent Jones." I held my own in our witty banter, and came up with a couple of nice twists on my own. That may have been the conversation where I finally believed I could do this job.

Fave nickname: "Gravely Moon" - his voice is all rough and like gravel when we're in a role play, and the first time we played, he described the moonlight pouring in the window. Since then, no matter where the scene is theoretically set, once we start playing, it always fades to moonlight.

Fave bad guess: When "Sweet and Slow" got on cam for me, and he looked utterly different than I had imagined. Yummy.

Fave nickname change: When I realized "Dirty Reader" - who loves dirty words and dirty thoughts and having me read my dirty blog entries to him out loud - needed to be re-nicknamed as "The Omnivore", because he finds something sexy about almost every type of woman on earth. His list of things we must talk about some day would probably take 24 hours of phone time to complete.

Fave switch: "Mistress Slut", a cross-dressing switch, who hopefully didn't realize that I was terrified at the thought of switching and being his/her Mistress for a change. S/he was gracious enough to shower me with praise, which built my confidence to start taking Mistress calls for real.

Fave feedback: Although we all know I live for feedback, the thing that has stuck with me was when "True Sighs" called me brave. "Chilled Haiku" and "Dirty Reader" and "Gravely Moon" all asked me later if it was them who had called me brave, because they had thought it, too. Thanks guys /sniffle

If you could change anything, what would you change (from being a PSO these past three months)? 
I wish I'd understood from the beginning only to get on the phones when I am feeling strong and sexy and rested - the calls I took when I was feeling otherwise were draining, and clearly not my best effort. 

What have you learned about yourself (by being a PSO these past three months)? 
This list may be as long as favorites. In addition to all gents mentioned above, "Inception Guy" and "Bored Banker" and "Unique Snowflake" especially helped me explore myself, either by pushing my imagination, playing with my boundaries, or toying with spaces where I was not entirely comfortable. And "Butt Slut" and "The Wanker" engaged me in meta-conversations about my job which helped me put all kinds of thoughts and feelings into words. 

A few years ago, a newly divorcing friend wanted to find a fuck buddy, but she was insecure about her small breasts, the fact she has kids, and her hippie vegetarian lifestyle. I bet her $100 that I couldn't afford to lose that if she put up a sex-positive, completely honest ad for a month, she would be so overwhelmed with offers that she'd have to take down her listing. Two weeks later, she called and said she had never felt more desirable in her life. "I'm funny, I'm smart, I have a great smile, I have a delicious body... You don't have to pay up, thank you!" 

I kind of feel like that. Like each caller has given me a different mirror, a new chance to examine myself. I'm more creative sexually than I'd given myself credit for. I'm better able to bring my leadership / bossy / dominating skills into the bedroom than I'd given myself credit for. My self-confidence and playful enjoyment of sex can show through in pictures in ways that I could not have imagined; I assumed my average-or-larger body size would distract, but no, it turns out that plenty of you can see my mischief just fine. And, it turns out, you're awfully fond of my boobs.  

But most of all, I've proven that I can work again. The... It... I... Wow. It means a lot to me (background story here).

What do you hope for the next three months as a PSO?
Overall, I hope I get as many smart, fun, creative, emotionally honest, sex-positive calls as I can handle, while magically never frustrating anyone when I am busy. Protectively, I hope I continue to take good care of myself physically and emotionally. Socially, I hope I continue to connect well with a few new callers each week - I enjoy meeting new people as well as deepening existing relationships. As a writer, I hope I continue to stay fascinated by the incredible stories I have the privilege to collect and co-create, and that I continue to be inspired to write them down. 

Emotionally, I hope I continue to explore the different sides of me that show up in the mirrors that you hold up, that I never take them for granted, and that I find ways to celebrate all of them. 

How would you summarize your first three months as a PSO?
By the numbers: I have talked with more than 250 unique callers, spent more than 150 hours on the phone, sent more than 1500 emails, revised my listings a combination of 75 times across 10 categories, and had two listings hit the front page as high as position #5 (maybe only late at night on a Wednesday, but still... it happened). 

By my heart: I feel sexier, more powerful, and more sure of myself than I ever have. I feel like I have dozens of lovers, which makes me feel naughty and delicious. I feel intensely grateful for my success thus far. I'm looking forward to a festive holiday season with all my new friends. 

I love my new job. So much. Thank you for letting me do it!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Sybian Video & Masturbating Alone

After much hesitation and cringing... I have finally posted videos for sale of me riding a Sybian at MyFlirtStore:

I have weird masturbation patterns. When I masturbate alone (physically alone, and not talking to anyone on the phone) , it takes me 20-30 minutes to come, and then there's only about a 50% chance of it being satisfying - the other 50% of the time, it just leaves me wanting more.

But if someone else is in the room when I'm masturbating, or on the phone, sometimes I start struggling not to come within 5 minutes, I can have multiple orgasms, and they are almost always deeply satisfying. I just like my sex to involve another person, I guess. Or, as one observant and amusing caller described it, I guess I'm just "a team player."

I had a Sybian on loan for a few months. (That's a $1400 sex toy! Lucky me!) I expected it to be amazing and transformative - finally, I'd be able to satisfyingly masturbate alone. The first time I tried it was with my husband and it was SO hot and SO fun and SO sexy. Then I tried it alone... and... of course... as I should have guessed... 40 minutes and 2 attachments later I was fighting to have an orgasm at all.

On a seemingly unrelated note, shortly thereafter, Angie Kemper (aka BBWbarelylegalAngie), another NiteFlirt operator in Austin, sent me an email welcoming me to NiteFlirt and offering to chat if I had any newcomer questions. We chatted about a variety of things, including her video business on clips4sale, and we realized that we could potentially have a great trade: I could bring my Sybian to her apartment, which was set up with her awesome camera to do video shoots, and we could both make Sybian videos.

Turns out, when I ride a Sybian alone in front of other people, it's reeeeeeeally easy to have a big fat orgasm. It's also really easy to forget how to talk. Apparently.

It's taken me a while to post this for sale because I have all kinds of insecurity about it. I don't like the outfit I chose (it looks too "outfit-ey" for me - my lingerie tends to be more classical looking), and I wish the setup looked more homey and less stark.

But, it is a video of me having an orgasm, which has been requested more than once. So. There. Now it's available. I hope you enjoy it.

And I hope I don't die of embarrassment.

Ed note: She's pacing around, biting her nails, waiting for someone to tell her this was not a terrible idea. 

Masturbation Superstar Awesomeness

I've never laughed that hard after a call ended. You totally win, babe.

Meet the Masturbation Superstar, aka The Avid Masturbator (@AvidMasturbator on Twitter), aka Brad Hamilton (from Fast Times at Ridgemont High). He's one of the wankers from my Sex-Free Phone Sex post, and he loves attention, and he loves being "outed" by the women he calls. I hope he likes details being shared!

Our calls usually follow a pattern: we chat about women he finds sexy while he expertly strokes himself, and when he's close, I tell him who to have an orgasm for. I'm fascinated by his "guilty pleasures", women who are outside the mainstream of young, tight, Hollywood-types, but he finds worthy of his affections anyway.

But this one topped them all: Christine O'Donnell, the crazy lady running for governor of Delaware, spoofed by Saturday Night Live for her "I'm not a witch" campaign commercial, and also for her active campaigning against masturbation.

Wow. She's anti-masturbation. She is exactly not a phone sex operator's best friend.

But as Brad told me that he had developed a new crush on her, I saw how utterly delicious it was. His fantasy was that he wanted Ms O'Donnell to catch him masturbating, start lecturing him on how wrong it was, but find the whole thing so sexy that she couldn't tear herself away, so she was left in slack-jawed awe as he came for her. That he masturbated thinking about her, calling her name, covering his hand with evidence of the avid masturbation she helped inspire... The whole thing left me saying "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Gentlemen, the gauntlet of Most Awesome Fantasy Ever has been thrown down. Start your engines.

New Caller Sprays Enthusiasm

Tonight's second new caller happened to be the first person ever to call on the listing I recently moved from "Mature" (I'm a legit 40, but didn't get many calls there) to "Oral Sex" (clearly a better fit - it was stupid not to have a listing there). I knelt between his knees and introduced myself to his generous erection with great enthusiasm. He said the following awesome things after he came:
I had really high expectations from reading your listing and your blog, but oh my God, you were so much better than that! 
I shot across the room... I'm not even sure where that first one landed...
From your listing to your blog to your pictures that I'm 99% sure are real... You are exactly who I hope to find.
and every girl's dream:
I'll be calling back. 
I floated downstairs with happies and told my husband, who laughed and hugged me and said, "Awwww, good job, honey." I've had enthusiastic first callers before, and even other people saying nice things to me today, but something about this particular set of effusive praise hit me right where I guess I needed it today. Yummers.

Since obviously my evening can't get better than that, I'm packin' it up & callin' it a night. I look forward to making others that happy tomorrow!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Data Girl Tries Again

I've written about being a data girl and how annoying it is to find a lack of trends in my call and blog data. And yet, today I answered the question, "What have you been up to Galiana?" with the potentially boner-killing answer of, "Analyzing call data."

I'm thinking of moving my schedule back, less of noon-midnight (which regularly runs until 1 a.m.) and more of 10 a.m. - 10 p.m., to grab a bit more sleep without having to nap, since the dogs usually wake me up around 8 a.m.

So I charted days of the week and time of day of the call. The dots at the bottom of the graph are midnight-3am. The hours go up to 23. I saw more patterns than I was expecting to, actually.
Click to see a bigger version of the graph
When I started, I tried to log in by 10 a.m., but as I progressed, I've trended more towards noon or later to log in, which is obvious by the data.

Once I started taking better care of myself by logging out when I felt tired instead of pushing myself, my call density dropped. That is not surprising, but man, I didn't realize just how many calls in a row took there for a while. No wonder I got worn out!

The time I took away from the phone during my Ten Days Of Craziness in mid-late-September slowed down my momentum. I figured it would, but it's interesting to see it.

Not on the graph: since this graph doesn't show call length, just the hour in which a call started, you can't tell that my average call length has continued to climb. Some of what look like big pauses are actually super-long conversations.

Also, not on the graph: even though I was slower than usual over the Columbus Day weekend, I still stayed on the front page, which lets me know it was just a slower weekend. It happens.

Overall, it looks like 10 a.m.-noon may be an acceptable replacement for 11 p.m.-1 a.m. on some days, but not others. If I logged in from 10 a.m. to 2 a.m. I'd get the most calls, but I'd also burn out and be useless! 

I will probably play around with it and try to balance getting sleep with having fun long late-night calls (many of which have been among my favorites). No changes to the calendar today, just interesting geekdom. 

Day Off Repentance

In reality, I never have to apologize for taking a day off, for logging out mid-day to replenish my energy, or for missing a day of blogging.

In fantasy land with me being submissive, I obviously need to beg for forgiveness and pretend to pout and protest if you threaten to punish me. Oh no (gasp), not a spanking! Heaven forbid!

In fantasy land with me being dominant, I obviously need to reprimand you for not buying pictures of me on MyFlirtStore to keep you company while I was away. Well, all of you except the one who paid to have me featured (thank you, dearest!). The rest of you: Bad bitch. Call to talk about how you can make it up to me.

In reality, both of those paragraphs amused me greatly, and aroused me enough to let me know that I am replenished and re-energized.

In both reality and fantasy land, parts of me missed being on the phone with you yesterday.
     (Inner Slut (raising hand enthusiastically): That would be me!)
I haven't had an orgasm in over 24 hours, and I can feel the need for one.
     (Inner Slut: or five...)
I'm looking forward to today's return to normalcy all around.
     (Inner Slut: me too! me too!)
Slut, darling, we knew that.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Playing With My Food

In my off-phone sex life, I have a few great memories of mixing food and sex, which is not surprising, given my strong oral fixation. I'm plenty hedonistic enough to appreciate multiple layers of taste and smell and texture.

By far the best ever was the night my husband and I ... ummm... /blush... met in person for the first time? slept together for the first time? Oh, hmm, mmaaaayyyybe those were the same night... Anyway (/innocent whistle), we had been fucking like bunnies for a couple of hours, and I felt snacky, so we ventured to the kitchen, naked, to discover our culinary choices. I opened the fridge, saw the whipped cream can, shook it, opened it, leaned my head back, filled my mouth (without touching the nozzle with my lips or tongue, of course, because although I am clearly trashy and presumptuous and greedy, I'm not germy), and then I had the good graces to be mortifyingly embarrassed that I'd just done that. He looked stunned. Like, eyes wide, blink, blink, blink stunned. I managed to swallow it all, which is tricky to do when you're trying to apologize and not laugh with a mouth full of whipped cream. He finally caught his snap and said, "I think I just fell in love with you a little bit. That was awesome."

The most creative was the sensation game: I was blindfolded while a lover fed me different food and drink, or traced different sensations over my body. When I guessed correctly, I got rewarded with kisses or stimulation or flesh in my mouth or, eventually, permission to have orgasms. When I guessed incorrectly, I got spanked, clamped, or restricted. By the end of it, my hands were clamped to my collar, my feet were cuffed to the spreader bar, the spreader bar was leashed to my collar, and I had clamps everywhere sensitive. As we were cooling down, after he freed everything but my hands, he fed me samples of flavored chocolates and kissed the flavors off my tongue. Not only was the experience wonderful and unforgettable, the set-up he had to do was damn impressive indeed.

In my on-phone sex life, I've enjoyed some super sexy food play, without any annoying logistical concerns of cleanup or hygiene.

The most amusing was the guy who asked if I were on my knees with his cock in one hand and chocolate in the other, what would I choose? Those of you who guessed "melt the chocolate on your dick and let me clean it off with my tongue" are the ones who know my greedy little self the best.

The most surprising was the man who started describing his homemade turtle cheesecake, then how he would feed it to me, then shifted to focus on how much weight I would gain. The more I described fat packing itself onto my flesh, the more aroused he became. After the call, I referred him to SS BBW Angie Kimber (who I've had the pleasure to meet in person), and the weigh-in videos she told me about (search her studio for "weight gain combo"). Since I haven't heard from him since then, I assume Angie's taking great care of him!

The biggest divide between "fun to imagine" and "probably not fun to clean up in real life" was the gentleman with the combo fetish: sploshing and silky panties. Sploshing, in case you don't want to wander to potentially frightening new places on the internet, is the fetishistic use of wet, but solid, food, like getting a pie in the face, or having a food fight with spaghetti and meatballs in tomato sauce. This particular gent wanted me to fill my silky undies with chocolate pie or banana pie and describe it oozing out onto my thighs and soaking through the soft fabric so he could lick and suck it off me.

Man. Now I'm hungry.

Acting and Phone Sex

Sure, I act sometimes on phone sex calls.

I have acted like a princess-ey bitch who thinks men are losers, and any cock less than 10 inches isn't worth my time. I have acted like a mouth-breathing bimbo, deeply confused by the BDSM gear in the special room I found while babysitting. I have acted like a nurse so overpowered by the beauty of the cock before me that I had no choice but to drop to my knees to worship it.

But my finest moments of acting are when I simply maintain the momentum of the conversation without making it grossly apparent that I just knocked over my drink. Again.

Apparently I need to reconfigure the fuckatorium one more time. Further adjustments are in order.

P.S. Did I ever tell you about the time when I was an IT Manager, spending the day with a new employee for orientation, and in the process of gesturing emphatically, I knocked over her coffee mug onto her in the morning, and then in the afternoon, knocked over her soda can onto her? No? Well, it's kind of relevant to this story. Maybe you can see how.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I Heart Quickies Too

I am very fortunate to have a good number of callers who usually spend 20 minutes or more with me when we talk.

Yesterday, "Office Crush", one of those normally-longer-callers, called me and said he was between meetings, but he had to pull me into his office because he just couldn't go another minute without being inside me. He pushed aside his desk papers, shoved me onto his desk, pushed my thong out of the way, unzipped, wrapped my legs around him, and fucked me hard.

Or maybe I was bent over the desk... that's funny, I can't remember the position, but I remember the come. It was a Pow! Good and hard and strong. It sounded like his come was the same way. I would have asked to confirm, but he left right after he said, "Whew, thanks baby, that's what I needed. Talk to you again soon." It felt great.

First-time caller quickie calls aren't my favorite. They feel like sex without context, and it's hard to have enough time to tune in to what would make it a really great experience.

But a quickie call from a regular caller? Where I already know you, what pushes your buttons, what naughty ideas tumbling out my mouth make you gasp a little involuntarily? Where I can ramp up fast from our shared memories and genuinely urge you on and enjoy feeling like I've helped you? Or maybe even join you?

Wham! Bam! Oh, no, really, thank YOU.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Mistress Listings Updated

I updated my mistress listings. They're identical, but here are both links: 
I'm not sure they're quite right yet. Those of you who have called me on my submissive lines and asked me to top you, please drop by and tell me if it's a decent summary of the way I approach being a Mistress.

Well, actually, your opinion is always welcome, whether or not I have ever topped you, since, after all, I am a Feedback Slut.

I am enjoying being in charge more than I thought I would. No wonder you Doms enjoy it when I whimper or beg - whimpering and begging is awesome! I'd love to get more calls on my Mistress lines; your assistance is greatly appreciated!

And I'm feeling generous this evening: Anybody who responds to this blog entry with constructive feedback for any of my listings (or my blog... really, anything to help me as a PSO) gets one free pay-to-view of your choice from my storefront at MyFlirtStore: Send your feedback via the email listed in my blog profile, or via NiteFlirt email. Thanks!

Orgasmic Greediness and Insecurity

During some cuddly, chatty afterglow, a caller said, "At one point, I was coaching you to come, really pushing for your orgasm, so much so that I was momentarily distracted from my own stroking, and I thought for a second, 'Wait, who is the phone sex operator here?'"

No kidding.

Somewhat similar to sex-free phone sex, sometimes I've had entire conversations consisting of me having a climax or two, with no reciprocal male orgasm at all. If you've read this blog entry, you can probably understand why I always feel a little imbalanced after those calls. Why did you get your blessing and deny me mine? Did I use up too much time? Too much energy? Did I do something wrong? Was my orgasm not stimulating for you? I have to reassure myself that it's okay, and trust that my partner knows what pleases him.

I love playing with the power dynamic of wanting to have an orgasm, but waiting for permission before I pop. It lends itself to variety: shall I earn the right to come, or just beg for it? And even if we're sharing control with nobody designated as the top, the concept works nicely because it is paid phone sex: it's your call, so maybe I should ask before I hijack the call with my pleasure (not, of course, if I'm obviously in charge - if you've asked me to dominate you or seduce you or teach you, then I'll let my waves rise and crest at whatever speed and frequency I desire).

I am intensely aware that my climax could be distracting for you, and maybe I'm just being greedy. Old issues can pop up, remnants from a time when I questioned if my higher-than-average sex drive meant something was wrong with me, an idea planted during arguments as a relationship dissolved unpleasantly. I  went so far as to have my hormones tested - all normal - and explore with a therapist whether or not I am a sex addict - I'm not. I mean, honestly, almost every day, someone calls to guide me as I masturbate, so if that's not what is happening on this call, shouldn't I be able to hold off until I'm sure you have the enjoyment you're seeking? How much pleasure should one girl need in a day?
Inner Protective Samurai (appearing suddenly but silently, as if materialized from the air): Well, hello there, old voices of shame. You feel familiar, and full of lies. I shall take this opportunity to slice you to ribbons with the sword I spend my days sharpening. (whooshing noises) And now I shall have tea. (disappears)
The rest of the Inner Cast loves Inner Protective Samurai a lot. We think everyone should have one. Her sword is sharpened by the knowledge that "female copulatory vocalization" is common in primates, and has been scientifically proven to arouse the interest of males. It's the way of nature, Galiana, let it flow.

Okay. I will. I'll try. I mean... Could you do me a favor? If you call and we spend a lot of time with me having orgasms, especially if you don't have one, could you let me know that you enjoyed yourself? Thanks.

Friday, October 8, 2010

A Thousand Starts: Writing Again

Okay, not a thousand. Maybe ten. I have a tiny little problem with hyperbole.

I've spent the majority of my day working on blog entries. This is the only one I'm publishing today. Pathetic.

I have made progress on probably ten blog entries today, but before I hit "publish post", I've either lost interest, gotten distracted, or been unhappy with something about the structure or voice. I've critiqued too many short stories and magazine articles to just let it go when I can see that the entry would be stronger if I pulled the damn thing apart and pieced it back together a different way.

It feels like I'm writing dozens of short stories. I guess I am. They're just not fiction. Well. It's confusing, isn't it? If I'm describing a phone sex session as if those things really happened (Inner Slut: for example: "With our eyes locked, I got him nice and slick with my mouth, then mounted him slowly") (Inner Commentator: Why, yes, that was gratuitous, but the blog needed at least one sexy thing today), then am I really writing what happened, or a semi-fictionalized version of what I remember?

A writing professor told us, "The character may dress like your mother, cook like your mother, and say things your mother has said, but she's not your mother. She's a character, with a will of her own. However, you'll never convince your mother it's not her."

I think that same concept holds true of this blog, too. I'm writing from my memory of a call, not a joint effort between me and the caller. The retelling is colored by my perspective. I only include details which help make my point (Inner Editor: ... assuming you have one. Speaking of which...) (Inner Storyteller: Bitch, you are not helping here!). A memoir is only partially about the events which occur, but mostly it is about how the stories are chosen to be told.

I love feeling like a writer again with this blog. I am enjoying the parts of me that are stimulated and encouraged by this writing. And I love the feedback loop of callers-to-blog-to-callers so so so so much.

Before today, writing this blog felt like all the fun parts of being a writer. Today, I can feel the work part of writing again, which feels good in a different way, like I'm rebuilding muscles that I used to have, restoring a workshop so all my tools are available again.

Or, if we turn down the volume on the self-aggrandizement dial: maybe I just have a short attention span today.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

New "Problem": Open House

I love October in Texas. The weather finally turns to sweater-friendly temperatures, and the house begs to be opened up after months of rushing to shut the door to keep out the oppressive heat.

This week, we've had every window and door propped open, including the garage. It's possible that there are now zero molecules of air in my home which were here a week ago. While the house has been breathing, we've been re-arranging stuff, including taking away two carloads of things which no longer belong with us (to half-price books and our local recycling center). It's been a fantastic start to the month. 

Except for one tiny new problem: when the phone-sex-dedicated phone rings, I don't just need to get to the Fuckatorium, I also have to shut the window. Because our neighbor and his cute girlfriend probably want to wander around their back yard with their evening beers in hand, playing fetch with their adorable labrador, without the accompanying sound of my orgasms. 

It's a delightful problem, and I'm happy to have it.