Wednesday, August 31, 2011

New Tagline

Satisfying and Satisfied
I asked for advice on a new blog tagline, and I've settled on one.

The old one was: The Blogged Life of Galiana Chance, a phone sex operator with a fetish for variety

The new one is: The Phone Sex Blog of Galiana Chance, a genuine gal and "a very satisfying phone fuck"

Many thanks to SAFL for repeating the word "genuine" often enough for me to finally remember it, and to Gravelly Moon for his very first feedback to me ever, which was, "Witty, sexy, fun, and completely in to my fantasy. She's a great flirt and a very satisfying phone fuck." I had been taking calls for 15 days. His feedback made me high.

The old blog tagline sounded classy, well-written, and maybe even polite.

The new one? It reinforces the phrase "phone sex blog" which is how I want people to be able to find me. But more importantly, it amuses me. Therefore, to the great surprise of nobody familiar with my proclivities, I'm keeping it.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Moving Right Along, Again

Can't I just lounge and masturbate?
Hey, long-time blog readers, remember this blog post from mid-February called "Moving Right Along"? How I announced I was moving, but I said I'd be up and running again in a few weeks, so no worries? And then, as it turned out, everything went to hell in a handbasket and it actually took me like ... four or five months to really get my groove back?

Well, hey, guess what I found out today?

Those of you playing along at home who guessed, "Ohhhhhhh noooooo you have to move again?" are absolutely correct! You get a gold star! But this time, the circumstances are better. By far. Here's how it went:
Hubby's Job: (in a secret rural Midwestern location) Turns out, you're awesome, and we need you to do this big important thing, and work more hours, and not travel back to Houston to visit your wife nearly as much.

Hubby: Cool, as long as you pay to relocate her, and the dogs, and all our stuff, here.

Hubby's Job: Sure, we can do that. Because, you know what? You're awesome.
Galiana: So, I get to have movers do most of my packing for me? And the whole move is free for us? And I get to live with my husband again? Awesome!
Well, mostly awesome. I am moving away from my mother and sister and nieces, who I will miss like crazy. That part sucks.

But I'll be traveling back to Houston more often, for holidays, plus every couple of months, so I'll spend a lot of time with them then. And by "spend a lot of time with them," I really mean, "I will probably crash on their couches to ensure I spend every moment possible with them." So when when I travel back to Houston, I'll probably be offline, but I'll warn you when that happens.

I may end up with less energy to log on for phone sex because I will have less financial pressure after the move. Or more energy because I have less stress and a more consistent schedule. Or more energy because my husband will take care of the dogs in the morning. Or maybe less because my sleep schedule may shift earlier. Or maybe more because I might feel socially isolated. Or maybe less because I'll make a ton of friends and hang out with them all the time.

In other words, I dunno what's gonna happen after I move. In fact, I don't know yet when exactly I'm moving. Probably some time in October.

I do, however, know I will have much more time than I had last time to prep and pack, and I will be able to afford a lot more help, so I should still be able to log on for phone sex between now and when I move. Yay!

I have a confession: in the last six weeks, I have thought I might be moving 3 times. You're moving! You're not moving! You definitely are! You maybe are! You ... oh, no, nope, you're not! Oh, hey, lookit, yes, you are!

And in that six weeks of bouncing uncertainty, I have managed to log in a lot for phone sex, reconnect with callers from my past, rewrite listings, pick up the pace of blog posts, publish pay-to-view content, and sometimes even hit my daily goals on the phone. That means (a) my medicines are really helping me and (b) the thought of this move is much less stressful for me than the last.

Also in the past six weeks, with help from my mom and sister, I've been able to sort and organize most of the stuff we didn't have time to sort through in the last move. Three carloads have been hauled away already, and there should be another carload or two after this weekend's visit.

Oh, I almost forgot... this part will be weird: I won't tell you exactly where I'm moving to. I'll refer to it as the Secret Rural Midwestern Location (SeRMiL). That's an amusingly horrible acronym. But one of the BDSM groups in Austin used to meet at a place they called the "Secret Rural Location" and I can't think of another name for the place we're moving, because that name is so firmly stuck in my mind because I think it's funny. SeRMiL, USA, here we come.

The reason for the uncharacteristic secrecy is that the town is small enough that I am pretty sure it wouldn't take long for my blog to show up on town-related internet searches, which violates everything I have read about ensuring your safety when you're doing online sex work. I'm sure you're supportive of my safety. Thank you for your understanding.

So, as I'm sure it's not hard to imagine, I won't be logged in much this weekend, because the hubby and I will be up to our ears in boxes and bins marked Keep / Sell / Donate / Trash. However, my sleep schedule is usually later than his, so if you want to hang out late at night, drop me an email, and I'll let you know if I'm up for it!

Hypno Revolution

I first opened erotic hypnotism listings last fall, but let them lie dormant for a while, because I didn't think they reflected me very accurately. Frankly, they were too bitchy.

So I rewrote them and started turning them on a couple of weeks ago now. If you're interested, check out the new look here:

Since re-opening, I've had a few awesome successes.

The most dramatic has been with a caller who called me a good deal last fall, but seemed a bit frustrated, as if he wanted me to take him further in some direction that neither of us could exactly put our finger on. Somehow, the combination of the last six months of experience, my relaxing horse tranquilizers, and my reading further on NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) techniques managed to hit the spot. Before, he kept encouraging me to be "more dominating" and this time around, he's encouraging me to "do exactly whatever it was you did last time." Yay!

I've had a few role play calls, not looking for real hypnosis, which used to confuse me, so I would attempt full-length inductions and they would hang up on me. Now I recognize the signs more clearly, so I'm able to jump in and do a fake-mini-induction and then fulfill requests like "can you find out what the trigger word is that my girlfriend is using to get me to want to suck cock so I can stop it?" Suuuuuure. Oh look, if I say that trigger word, you talk about how much you love sucking cock, and the more I say it, the more you want it. What a shock!

The success that sexually frustrated me the most was the gentleman with the steady, smooth voice, who told me he just wanted to be tranced, and given mind-fuck post-hypnotic triggers, but didn't feel the need to have an orgasm. After 30 minutes of brainwashing and planting parlor-trick mild amnesia triggers, I brought him out and checked. Not only did the triggers work, but he was delighted. And wanted to serve me. In fact, wanted to do anything I wanted him to do, if only I would put him under again...

Ohhhh reeeeeally. Like, for example, what if I wanted to bring you to the edge of orgasm multiple times but not let you climax? Astonishingly, he agreed, and his groaning and pleading cemented the fact that yes, I have, indeed, developed a begging fetish. Holy. Crap.

I was a good hypnotist, though, you should be proud of me. When we approached the amount of time originally agreed upon, before I brought him out that last time, I suggested that he would feel fully satisfied, and he did. But me? Satisfied? No way - I needed a big fat vibrator and fresh batteries. Fuck.

Then tonight, someone called me for only the second time (the first was an introduction conversation), after having bought my hypnosis mp3 (this one here) and listened to it a few times. It is simple simple simple, with triggers for pleasure, and sure, a bit of suggestion that the sound of my voice is awesome, but nothing I'd call heavy duty hypnotic programming.

The sound of a man whimpering is just. so. luscious. Thankfully, he wanted a mix of hypnosis plus phone sex, so I got to get off with him. I might have let my NLP out to play a bit during the teasing portion of the conversation, and maybe he said afterward that he had not been aware that he had been begging to taste me, for me to fuck him, to be allowed to come. But oh, dear, sweet, delicious goodness, he had.

So how is this a "hypno revolution"? Or have I forgotten my blog title?

Don't be silly, I haven't forgotten. The revolution is this: I feel more integrated as a hypnotist now. I see hypnosis as a tool to be used in a much broader variety of settings. I see hypnotic techniques sneaking into my topping sessions. I see domination feeling comfortable in my hypnosis. It's like peanut butter and chocolate, but in a thousand flavors instead of just one.

Okay, ummm, that last sentence? Mmmmmaybe I need a snack after the powerful, rippling orgasm I enjoyed with that last caller, the man who whimpered...

Monday, August 22, 2011

Phone Sex Blog Superlative

A cry for help.
How can you refuse?
I like to think that I have a blog that's interesting to read, and I would love to make it easier for people to find it. I don't even make it to the Google search for "phone sex blog" on any page. Sad.

So I'm thinking of re-doing my tag line, from "Chance It: The Blogged Life of Galiana Chance, phone sex operator with a fetish for variety" to "Chance It: The Most _________ Phone Sex Blog in the World"

But... what to put in that superlative spot? Obviously, any qualitative claim I could put in that blank would be ridiculous, narcissistic, over-the-top, and impossible to quantify. Perfect.

The most honest? The most real? The realest (is that word)? The most varied?

Or should I go for something closer to what I have now, like "The Phone Sex Blog of Galiana Chance, a phone girl with a fetish for variety"? Or should I change my qualitative description to something like "a genius (by some definitions) and a helluva gal"? I need slugs, people. Slug me.

Help me, Obi Wan Blog Reader. You're my only hope.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

1K Visitors! (Again. Sort of.)

I just hit 1,000 unique visitors in a month! (Again. Sort of.)

My Inner Data Analyst was so happy to see a lovely round number that she is getting her own blog post today. It's been a while since she got to come out and play.

Here's what made her happy: Google Analytics showed 1,000 unique visitors in a month time span.

1K per Month Visitors

Confession time: I checked in the middle of the day - it was serendipitous to hit the exact number when I did, but that wasn't the final number in the day. The final number for that month-span was 1,010, but I was so happy to see the exact 1,000 that I screen-captured it.

Now Data Girl gets to have her nerdy moments in the sun:

AGAIN: Truth is, I hit about 1,100 unique visitors in January when I only had one blog location, before I moved over to self-hosting, and before I dramatically dropped off my blogging volume and talked about a bunch of un-sexy life issues (Feb - Jun).

SORT OF: Since I split the blogs, there is no way to know the *exact* number of unique visitors across sites, because the old blog location is still up and running, and for a while, there were legacy links that led back and forth between them. So one human being could show up as a "unique visitor" for both sites. When I add them up and factor in cross-over, I've probably had 1,200 - ish unique visitors in the past 30 days across sites, but it's impossible to determine a precise number.

STATES: Ooooo I've now had visitors from all 50 states! Yay! For a while there were holdouts in Hawaii and North Dakota. Aloha Hawaii! Welcome aboard North Dakota! I don't know if you know this or not, but the phone sex connection is amazing between where you and Texas.

BOUNCE RATE / NEW VISITS: Back in January, when I was doing zero advertising and only driving traffic from my NiteFlirt listing, I had a bounce rate of about 16% (bounce rate = how many visitors only visit one page, lower is better) and a new visits rate of about 50% (new visits = first-time blog readers). My bounce rate and new visits rate have gone up since I started doing $3 / day of Google advertising (don't go too nuts with the spending there, Chance).

I have had a few lovely new callers from the advertising... probably not quite $100 / month worth yet, but I think it's one of those things that adds up over time. I will continue to play with small amounts of advertising to see how it goes.

OVERALL: So my traffic volume is nowhere near enough to approach a publisher about a book deal just yet (oh noes, my sooper seekrit long-term plan is out!), but it's great to know that I can rebuild if I need to!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Chastity, Tease, and Ballbusting mp3

Imagine you're sitting in a rattan chair with a hole cut in the seat, you are naked, and your balls are exposed through the rattan. Now imagine I am there with you, and I want to have a bit of a chat about a few of my favorite topics.

And by "chat" I mean: I talk, calmly, rationally, and steadily, while you listen.

And by "a bit" I mean: For a little over 23 minutes.

And by "a few of my favorite topics" I mean: Male orgasm control, tease and denial, ruined orgasms, ball busting, and the unfortunate consequences of you having a small penis.

This audio file was custom ordered to help a caller reinforce his ongoing chastity for me. It was March 27th when he last came, which is almost 5 months ago now. Before he met me, his longest solo orgasm denial was 2 weeks, and his longest orgasm denial with assistance was 7 weeks.

So, maybe I'm doing okay at keeping him under control, aren't I?

Have a listen to the sample to decide for yourself (about 30 seconds): Chastity Tease Ballbusting Sample

I had a brutally difficult time deciding on a sample from this one, because moment after moment is so achingly full of painful truth, and it's so smoothly delivered. I decided to go with the first quotable sound-bite: this is from less than a minute in, it's just barely the warm-up.

The recording is especially impressive considering he gave me two hours' notice to do it for him (and, of course, paid a crazy rush fee), so he could listen to it while last-minute traveling. Upon re-listening to it, I was genuinely impressed with how steady my rhythm is, and how smoothly my thoughts flowed together, considering he only gave me a bare outline. I filled in all the delicious details off the top of my head.

I guess that's what months of practice will do for ya... This is almost exactly how we spend our calls. It's not often you can get this direct of a glimpse of how I am with another caller.

This is the guy who stays all calm and rational while we discuss these topics, until I hear his breath catching ragged, and then sometimes I masturbate with pleasure at his frustration. Delish.

The short description from the pay-to-view email:
A calm, rational, analytical explanation of my philosophies about manipulating males, controlling male orgasms, ruining male orgasms, how orgasm rules change for a man with a smaller-than-adequate penis, and my enjoyment of intense cockteasing and sack tapping.
Although not technically hypnosis, it can certainly be used for reinforcement for your personal acceptance of your own chastity, denial, or balls being busted.

Download it for $30 via NiteFlirt:
Listen over the phone for $0.99 a minute via NiteFlirt:
Download it for $30 via Kinkbomb:
I sincerely hope this file gets attention in the orgasm denial community. Although I am usually somewhat insecure about my offerings, not this time. This one, it deserves it.

Domination Landing Page

I am pretty darn pleased with myself for completing a new page: Domination by Galiana: An Introduction. This will be my landing / "where to start" page for advertisements and top list banner sites emphasizing my dominant side.

It's still a bit wordy, of course, but then, so am I. I'm sure I'll revise it a cajillion times.

I think it gives enough of an overview of my toppy ways, with some switchy balance, to be enough preparation for someone to call.

Of course, it's still linked to my full site, so someone could also land, get lost in my blog, jack off, and go to sleep. It's a known problem when you have a big blog full of dirty stories for free. I'm okay with that risk.

(PSO for PSOs - Public Service Announcement for other Phone Sex Operators: If you are NiteFlirt-compliant, please make sure you are only linking to and that you only follow my NF-compliant Twitter account

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Cat Came Back

September 12, 2010 - almost a year ago - was the last I heard of Inception guy from my Heartbreak II post. Eleven months later, on August 12, 2011, he called me again.

So much has changed with my internal landscape. When he found me last year, I was just starting out. I was learning my limits. I was expanding my horizons. I was exploring undiscovered countries in myself, boldly going with callers where no man had gone before, time and time and time again.

And now, while I don't feel jaded, with hundreds more hours of phone time under my belt, I do feel prepared, educated, and perhaps a bit better equipped to care for myself.

During the year, I had found him on FetLife, because he had given me his profile name when we talked last year. Once I joined, I read his profile, which made me miss him, and I tried not to worry about him.

A few months ago, I saw his username and call history show up again in my customer list, but I resisted contacting him for months, in case I tugged a tripwire in some unhelpful way. I assumed, correctly as it turned out, that his name reappearing meant that he had reinstated his account. More than once I kissed my fingertips and touched his name on my screen in a blessing.

(no, I don't actually touch my screen, because I am somewhat of a neurotic geek, but y'know... almost)

Then Aug 2, in a moment of weakness, I suppose, I broke down and wrote to him with a link to the heartbreak blog post. I admit, it was a selfish thing to do. I had thought about doing it dozens of times, and for some reason, that day, I didn't resist the urge.

"Please introduce yourselves," said the automated voice of NiteFlirt, in a rhythm frustratingly slower than when the voice said it eleven months ago. He said his name - just his name, not his name plus his town like he used to say - and I laughed and stammered and felt the emotions wash over me in waves: relief, concern, amusement, guilt, lust. Lots of lust.

"I guess you remember me." Typical of him: understated, wry, terse, and a tiny bit vulnerable underneath.

As it turns out, he had read the heartbreak blog post, back when I had written it, and he never thought I was genuinely mad at him. I mean, sure, I had been furious with him more than once during play times, mostly for denying me his cock when I was begging for it, but he knew I wasn't mad outside of play time. That was a huge relief.

Our unfortunate communication had coincided with his decision to quit phone sex cold turkey for a while. Maybe they were unrelated, but I prefer to think that when I couldn't keep playing that day, perhaps something in the intensity of our exchange helped tip his scales. It is more likely that he was pushing me harder than usual because he knew the scales were tipping that way anyway; it was the last drinking binge of someone about to check himself in to rehab.

He said the blog post was touching, and that he had re-read it more than once when he wanted to feel good about himself. My tears in response to that statement were not the sexy tears of desperation he had caused before, but they were heartfelt nonetheless.

We had a lovely, tender, playful, caring conversation, catching up on the events of our respective almost-year. I said something slightly smart-assed, and he took a long, deep breath, his voice changed, and he asked me, "Did you forget how to address me, bitch?" My heart got so happy it skipped a beat - we were going to play.

And play we did. It was delicious, nourishing, rough and tumble, fun, and just exactly degrading enough for my Inner Emotional Masochist to curl up into a delighted, bruised ball and sleep, satisfied to have her playmate back, even if only one more time.

(Irrelevant and distracting side note regarding the title of the blog post, I remember seeing Rowlf the Dog singing this on The Muppet Show: The content of the song is utterly non-applicable here, because I am not trying to get rid of him, but the title made most of me happy, so I kept it, and Inner Editor will have to get over it.)

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Grand Slam Call

I was going to call it a "Home Run Call" because I identified at least four fetishes, but then I realized how many fetishes I was grouping together into a cuckolding fetish: cuckolding super-fetish = being cuckolded + big black cock + small penis humiliation + forced bisexuality + cream pie.

So then I asked myself: what number would make a Grand Slam Call? Sure, it puts four runs on the board, but there are 10 bases covered in a grand slam by the time all four runners make it home, right (4+3+2+1)?

So I set out to try to limit the fetishes on this call to only 10, if I separated them out properly. Turns out, it was easy.

We're married, and:
  1. I have taken a lover "against his will" (cuckolding),
  2. because he has a small dick (small penis humiliation),
  3. and my lover is a well-hung African-American (big black cock, a.k.a. BBC),
  4. and I "force" him to help get my lover hard by sucking him ("forced" bisexuality),
  5. and to clean up after my lover comes inside me by licking his cum out of me (cream pie),
  6. although not all of the cum was lapped up, because I get knocked up (impregnation),
  7. so for nine months, I let him worship my growing tummy (pregnancy),
  8. and my growing ass (ass worship),
  9. and suck on my breasts as they got ready (lactation),
  10. but I never once let him fuck me (tease and denial).
It's going, going, GONE! And that, ladies, and gentlemen, is a bona fide Grand Slam Call! History in the making!

It seems like it would have seemed like a crowded, rushed, scattered call, right? And yet, no, instead, it was kind of... ummm... wow, do I sound too insane if I say it was mostly just sweet?

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Back and Away Again

These past two weeks, I have finally felt like I was "back" (although I try not to strive to return to the past - I try always to strive for the new thing the future will bring, with the added bit of wisdom and experience I have gained since then... wow, that was sermonize-ish, wasn't it?).

Since apparently I am having an inner conflict about the use of the term "back", allow me to clarify: these past two weeks, I have felt like I finally have a routine with my food, sleep, dogs, husband, family, horse tranquilizers, online presence, and phone sex that has felt productive. It's been months since I felt like I had a groove this strong, and it felt great.

So then, to cap it off properly, I neglected to inform anyone that I'll be mostly offline this weekend for social reasons. /facepalm

But upon my triumphant re-return (Monday? Tuesday? who knows), I have a huge list of things to write about - I've had some fantastic new callers giving me delicious ideas, plus one last announcement of something I recorded a while ago before I start producing new audio / video / picture content (lord willin' and the creek don't rise).

However, as always, if you know ahead of time that there is a specific time you would like to talk, even this weekend, drop me an email, and I will accommodate it if I can - carving specific time for a specific person is MUCH simpler than logging on and being up for absolutely anything the universe of phone sex can toss my way. It's a wacky universe out there. Trust me.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Switches Get It...

Now that I have rewritten my Mistress / Dominant / Domme / Domina / FemDom / Toppy / insert your term of choice to indicate "the partner in charge of leading the activities" phone sex listings, and I am happy enough with them for the time being (to refresh your memory, they look like this:, it's time to start advertising.

As I researched options, I found myself posing this question to the owner of a very well-trafficked Domme site (
My "unique spin" - if you will - is that I am not a princess-ey bitch; instead, I am a nice, empathetic human being who genuinely enjoys focusing sexual attention on submissive males. I truly enjoy directing them to distraction. Do you think there is room in your network for such a niche?
As soon as I wrote it, I knew the answer: yes, of course there is. Because (1) everybody is somebody's fetish, and (2) most people crave variety, so there is room for a lot of approaches, and (3) surely someone is tired of sending their money to brats, and (4) if I read that from a dominant woman, I would immediately ask "Do your subs have to be male?" and volunteer to have her fuck me the hell up, so therefore, yes, it will be attractive to people who are enough like me to like the kinds of things I like.

So, after talking myself into it, I needed to come up with a banner (long overdue - I should have a bunch of banners at my disposal already... bad Galiana). I wanted simple but wordy, thought-provoking but clever. I googled "switches do it bumper sticker" and "switches do it t-shirt" and found a disappointing lack of cutesy little slogans for the BDSM switch community. Well, then, time to create my own.

So I pondered. Sure, it would be handy to convey that, as a bisexual switch, if A = people I might want to have sex with, then A = {the entire fucking planet}, but also, I believe that, as a switch, I can empathetically
understand the needs and desires of a submissive. Do I understand a submissive's needs more than if I were purely dominant? There is no empirical evidence that I know of, but I instinctively believe the answer to that question is: yes.

(Side note: I remembered set notation without looking it up. It's totally okay to swoon.)

(Side note to side note: the day my blog gets a hit from "set notation phone sex" I'm gonna die laughing)

I crafted and rejected a dozen versions before coming up with this:

The text reads:
smart fun galiana chance
personalized female domination
from an intelligent, playful, empathetic switch
switches get it... both ways
It may not be my slogan forever, but it's good enough to start.

Technical note: I purposefully avoided capitalizing anything, even my name, because I think the protocols of capitalization in the D/s community, while useful in many contexts and many relationships, imply a certain rigidity that I don't enforce, an adherence to tradition that I do not require.

Plus, it is a teeny bit fun to wonder if anyone will see my ad and start up some kind of a flame war with me about how I'm not "a real Domme" and I shouldn't be allowed there. All publicity is good publicity, right?

(Dear Inner Attention Slut: nobody spends as much time thinking about you as you do. Love, Galiana)

(Dear Galiana: Fuck Off. Love, Inner Attention Slut)

On a completely unrelated note, in my next photo shoot, I need to remember to take more pictures lying down, because I don't have nearly enough images that work well for banners. If this is the worst problem I have today, I'm doing well.

I'd love to know what you think!

Ditzy Fembot mp3s

I am pleased to offer two ditzy-sounding fembot mp3s - these were so much fun to make! Ahhh, the memories of growing up blonde (yes, I was a blonde kid, and yes, I accidentally sound ditzy all the time, but not quite this ditzy).

Ditzy Fembot Teacher

You've figured out that your ditzy-sounding teacher with huge boobs is a fembot, so you get in trouble to stay after class and see if you can make her malfunction!

A sample of the first 30ish seconds can be found here: Ditzy Fembot Teacher Sample

Runtime: 07:38, Format: mp3.

Listen via phone for $0.99 per minute via NiteFlirt:
Download it for $10 via NiteFlirt:
Download it for $10 via Kinkbomb:

Ditzy Fembot Seducer

I am Galiana, the most advanced fembot seductress model available. When other robot girls need repairs, it is my job to bring them in by overloading their circuits with my perfect body, adorable cutesy voice, and vastly superior programming.

No other model will ever have more advanced manipulation techniques or more luscious breasts than I have, and certainly no other model could ever make me malfunction... right?

Runtime: 09:03, Format: mp3.

A sample of the first 30ish seconds can be found here: Ditzy Fembot Seducer Sample

Listen by phone for $0.99 per minute via NiteFlirt:
Download it for $10 via NiteFlirt:
Download it for $10 via Kinkbomb:

Summary and Info on Custom Requests

I think these recordings are especially helpful for members of the ASFR / technosexual crowd who would not indulge in a video of mine because you prefer your androids a little leaner. I understand that not all body types appeal to all fetishists (because that is how the diversification of the gene pool works... I don't take it personally).

So with just the sound portion to guide you, feel free to imagine my model created in any shape you wish. Although these two recordings do reference my large breasts several times, so it may be tricky to imagine a little wispy-thin pixie-shaped model...

Please let me also remind you that I take custom requests (these were custom). However, as I say on my Stuff To Buy page:

I can sometimes fulfill custom requests for audio, photos, and video, but with a warning: the length of time to delivery is utterly unpredictable. Because of that, I do not require a down payment: you pay nothing until delivery.

Pricing varies greatly by subject, complexity, and length, but here’s a broad guesstimate:
* 15 min mp3: $50 and up
* 25 pictures: $100 and up
* 15 min video: $100 and up

To price your project specifically, please write me at

And don't forget, here at Advanced Smart Fun Robotics (ASFR), we have The Best Human Emulation Mode in the Business!™

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

In My Dreams

I had a dream the other night that I was with a lover. He was helping me take pictures of myself, and we were theoretically not going to be having sex. But he was naked.

We were smiling, he was shooting pictures, we were enjoying each others' company. It was relaxing and fun.

I took the camera to assist with a Point-Of-View shot including his cock, raised it above my head, so I could see us from above, and he nestled in behind me. The instant the head of his cock brushed against the skin of my ass, we both knew we needed to be fucking.

I reached for him, imagining him sliding into me, pressed him against me...

and woke up. Dammit.

Help me finish?

Monday, August 8, 2011

Web Bitch, Anyone?

I want to re-organize my categories and tags, because they annoy me in their current form, but the thought of going back through more than 350 posts is overwhelming me, so I keep putting it off.

Web bitch? Anyone? Bueller?

Sunday, August 7, 2011

The #black Daily

I was on the front page of The #black Daily for a day! (click to see a larger image)

Black Daily
Here's how it happened: The lovely Rachelle (twitter @rachelle4phone; website; NiteFlirt listings: fell into one of those blog-reading black holes with my blog. C'mon, you've tooooootally been there and you know exactly what I mean, don't you?

So she tweeted this: #ff @GalianaChance Ahhh, i can't stop reading your blog !! lol #bbw #submissive #niteflirt #phonesex

I replied with a thank you, and savored fond memories of many a pleasantly-mind-numbing hour spent reading interesting blogs from start to finish before I got vertigo (now I can't take that much scrolling, although sometimes I still read new blogs until I start to feel ill just because it's too. interesting. cannot. stop).

And then a few minutes later, she tweeted this: #win #phonesex #niteflirt #dildo #black

That is a link to one of my favorite silly blog posts ever.

So there's a site ( which allows people to set up an online "newspaper" that pulls from Twitter, Facebook, and online RSS feeds like blogs, set up a content focus - for example: pull from Twitter with the hashtag #phonesex - and publish content daily related to that focus.

(Public service announcement: if you haven't set up an RSS feed reader like yet, you're missing out on the easiest way to keep up with your favorite blogs)

The benefit to having such a paper is primarily SEO (search engine optimization). Search engines tend to prefer sites which have lots of links pointing to them. The thought is: if lots of other sites are telling you to go there, then it must be worth reading. So people set up a newspaper to create external links to topics they think are worthy of search-rank boosting.

(by the way, this also explains why so many sites have a long string of banners at the bottom of some links page - each of those banners usually represents another site linking back to their site, which mutually benefits both sites to be easier to find via search engines... and that concludes the lesson of "everything I know about SEO")

So there's a newspaper called "The #black Daily" which pulls from Twitter posts with the #black hashtag and a link to something with an RSS feed. I assume it's an automated paper, not manually selected, because the top story is not in English, and well, because my story is in there.

Don't get me wrong, I loooooooooove me some big black cock - /shiver - in person and in dildo form, but I have never before considered myself a representative for the voice of the black experience. Clearly, I still don't!

But I'm thrilled for the link, amused to no end, and happy to have given a giggle to a fellow Flirt!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Video: Galiana-bot Remote Control

Another custom video of the Galiana fembot - this time, someone is learning to use the remote control on her!

This comes from the category of "Stuff I did a while ago, but haven't yet published/announced, which is causing paralysis when I think about doing more pictures or videos or recordings." Thankfully, the stack is getting shorter (3 recordings and 2 videos to go... aren't you curious?).

Here's the description and the gif (I'm still inordinately proud of my ability to finally do animated gifs):

Galiana is dressed in work attire and explaining how new she is to the whole "robot fetish" thing when the unseen person behind the camera picks up a remote control... turns out, she's a robot, and the remote control works! After booting, she describes herself and her functionality in great detail while moving robotically, mostly in place.

This is a custom clip with an upskirt shot and slight unbuttoning of my blouse, but no nudity.

The price is reduced per-minute because of continuity issues with my glasses, and my beverage was accidentally partially in frame for much of the video - lucky you!

running time: 23:18
resolution: large (1440 x 1080) and small (320x240) are both included
format: WMV (please contact me directly if you require a different format)

NiteFlirt: $20 both the large and small versions

clips4sale: $19.99 for the large version, $14.99 for the small version:

Kinkbomb: $20 for the large version, $15 for the small version:

So, honestly, the reason for the delay on releasing this video was the continuity issues: I didn't notice them until the next day. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out if I would be happy with zooming effects, but it cut out so much of the detail of my movements that I felt like it was better to leave it as it was, glaring imperfections and all.

In one way, I'm proud of it: it's long, detailed, and I'm happy with the movements, and the emotionless voice is pretty darn consistent. I can focus on those good things and hit "publish"... right? Mmmmm...

Friday, August 5, 2011

Two Roads Diverged in a Wood

I am diverging my web presence between those which are NiteFlirt-compliant and those which are not as of... now.

The blog I've been linking to,, and my new Twitter account (@GalianaNF) will remain compliant with NiteFlirt rules, which means that I can link to it from my listings, and it will not link to any NiteFlirt competitors.

But everything else will not be NF-compliant, and may contain links to other places. So my new blog location,, which I am essentially launching right now (/partyhorn /streamers), and my original blog location,, will have more a complete "contacts and links" page than the compliant blog.

I spent the better part of two days scrubbing completely free of all links to my twitter, blogspot, facebook, fetlife, formspring, OKCupid, tumblr, ... basically, it is now only has links to itself and the @GalianaNF twitter account.

Everywhere else will have me posting links like the link whore I intend to become (for example, the previous paragraph... oh, and this paragraph too). Those will include my kinkbomb studio, clips4sale store, images4sale store, TalkSugar listing, and MyPhoneSite listing.

IMPORTANT FOR OTHER PSOs: If you link to my blog from a NF-compliant blog, PLEASE MAKE SURE you are linking to! The main reason that I left that one as NF-compliant is because everyone links to it already. When I launched it, I asked everyone to switch references. Even though I have not gotten one referral to the old blogspot address in over three months, this week, I still spent a few hours double-checked any PSO site who had ever linked to me that I could tell, and they were all good. So I feel good that everybody is already pointing to the right place.

Screwing over other PSOs? Do not want that kind of karma. /shudder So I have been very very very careful to scrub it all shiny clean and double-check with Play Fair.

For what it's worth, I'm happy to follow traffic leak rules, even though it means more work; every business has a right to protect itself. Also, if you're a customer, NiteFlirt is still the least expensive way to call me and buy my stuff, and will remain so for the foreseeable future -- out of loyalty, and because they have amazing traffic.

Welcome to my new path. It's linktastic, isn't it?

(P.S. Dear Inner Poetry Snob: I understand that the poem reference by my blog titled described choosing between two paths, not continuously traveling two paths at once, but it was the title that stuck in my head, so get over yourself. Love, Galiana)

Thoughts on Rates

I did not follow one of the best pieces of advice I ever got when I was first starting out: you're new, so you can afford to play with your rates, so keep raising them by $0.10/min every two weeks or so until you find your sweet spot.

Instead, after a month at $0.99/min ($0.55/min to me) to build feedback, I jumped to $1.49/min ($0.90/min to me). It was a smashing success. The 63% raise more than compensated for the callers who quit me. I felt justified at having bypassed the slow, painful rate creep.

Perhaps counter-intuitively, I lost many of my very short callers (under-10-minute average), fewer people insisted that I send them free minutes before they'd try me out, and I found more callers willing to talk for longer. It was fantastic. I was on cloud nine.

And then, a month after that, I disastrously tried to raise my rates again to $1.99/min ($1.25/min to me), at the same time as I was traveling, and also while setting up an invite-only VIP line that stayed at $1.49/min. I confused my callers, knocked my listings out of their top-page spots, and lost the momentum I had with people leaving me feedback. It was a horrible, terrible mess.

So I tucked my tail between my legs, salvaged the points I had made on my VIP line by switching it to an open line, rolled back all my prices to $1.49/min, and promised not to jack with my rates again for at least three months. That was 10 months ago, and the rates on Smart Fun Galiana haven't budged since then.

In the meantime, I created Ms Galiana and Hypno Galiana and toyed with their rates a bit, but I gave up on them when I realized I was unhappy with the way the listings were written. Unfortunately, that was also about the time we had to move, so they got lost in the shuffle for a while. But they're climbing back. They'll find their own ways in the world, I feel sure of it.

(pssst... I'll let you in on a secret: for a brief time, I also opened a purposefully mysterious listing with no pictures of my face, and I had a British accent and I charged $2.99/min. But when the few people who called that line insisted on knowing more about me personally, I hated the pressure of having to choose between lying to them or continuing to play bad cop and say no. Plus, it was nerve-wracking to switch personas like that in the space of 10 seconds as Madge told me which character was getting the call. But I'm not gonna lie, the British accent was super fun. Don't tell anybody, okay?)

My motivation for reconsidering my rates is that many callers have told me I am selling myself short because of my intelligence and creativity. I am acutely aware of my shortcomings, which makes me want to leave my rates low, but also aware that I may be leaving money on the table, which is silly.

Also, now that I am under a bit less financial pressure than I was, a few weeks of "oops well that didn't go as I'd hoped" is more acceptable now than it used to be. Don't get me wrong, the cash I'm making now is going toward non-luxuries like car insurance and vet bills, and my Amazon gift cards replenish my dog treats more often than they provide lipsticks or lingerie, but I am responsible for a smaller percentage of our overall spending.

Ugh, I need to take a break from explaining my financials for a while, and yet I keep feeling the need to do so. Here, this should help: We're nowhere near rich, we have too much debt, we have no savings yet (although we're working on it now), and I still need to work to pay some bills. There. I said it. Now then... Dear whatever part of me needed to keep explaining my finances: Please hush now, for at least a month, okay? Oooooookay.

Back to rates: I have set the rates on my Ms Galiana listings at $2.25/min ($1.44/min to me), which I expect to attract a few callers over time. And after I re-write my Hypno Galiana listings, those will be set at $1.95/min($1.23/min to me). Those rates reflect the relative expenditures of my energy to do those types of calls, in general. Obviously, some submissive calls are draining and some domme calls are refreshing, but in general, I expend more energy leading than I do following.

When Ms Galiana and/or Hypno Galiana take off enough for me to start feeling resentful of taking calls on Smart Fun Galiana, I will start raising those rates by $0.05 / minute every two or three weeks until it feels like the three accounts are balancing themselves out properly.

I will also be logging in to other sites to take calls, and starting those at a minimum of $2/min (announcements forthcoming soon about where else I am listed).

My uninformed guess is that it will take 3 months before I start raising Smart Fun Galiana rates, and I will end up with: Ms Galiana $2.25 - Hypno Galiana $1.95 - Smart Fun Galiana $1.75.

For the sake of gratitude and nostalgia, I will keep a wandering $1.49 line, and I'll keep the blog updated to let you know which one it is. The idea is: there will always be at least one listing where I could use more points or good feedback or a better ranking, so I can direct fiscally savvy blog readers to call me there for a lower rate, and everyone is theoretically happy.

Plus, let's be honest: if you're reading the blog, I like you better, and you deserve it.

So the first step in all this very-slow-moving process was to open Ms Galiana at $2.25/min. Done.

The second step is to raise the rate on my Smart Fun Galiana listings under the Mistresses and Femme Dommes categories. Also done.

The third step is to finish my Hypno Galiana re-write. Mmmmm.... not so much with the done on that yet. But at least I'm mulling it. That's a start, right?

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Can't Stop Laughing

I have listed a few of my video clips for sale at new locations, and I get emails whenever someone places an order. I just got a notification that I got an email titled, "Order Update: HAPPY DOG PLACE"

... and I thought WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!? Not only would I never make a video with that title, or ever involving any of the activities that it suggests, I didn't think such things were allowed on the site, and if they are, I'm gonna pull my clips!!! And... oh, wait...

... it was a notification that the rawhide bones I had ordered with an Amazon gift certificate given to me by a favorite caller (thank you, darling!), are going to be delayed a few days. Apparently "Happy Dog Place" is the name of the company who distributes them.

Can't. Stop. Laughing.

A Year and A Fortnight

Galiana A Year and A Fortnight ago
I started taking phone sex calls July 15, 2010, a few days after my husband took this picture of me in our kitchen to test the camera on his new phone. I hadn't yet started writing my first version of my listing, because I didn't yet know about NiteFlirt, but I had applied with a couple of dispatch phone sex services.

I wrote blog posts about my quarter anniversary and my six-month anniversary. Then on July 15, 2011, I completely forgot to write about my 1-year anniversary. When I realized it, two very socially busy days later, I figured I'd wait until my blog anniversary (8/15) and do something then.

On July 24, 2011, I got an email, with the subject line, "No?" and content of, "No big, one-year anniversary blog post?"

I felt so loved. When I saw the email on my phone, I was having lunch with my mom, casually checking to see if anything time-sensitive had happened in the past hour, and she immediately said, "Well, THAT got a reaction, what was that?" I got choked up while explaining it to her. Although she certainly wishes I were physically able to do other types of work, her response was a very supportive, "Awwww. That's very sweet. I like him."

So much has shifted since I started being a phone sex operator.

A year ago, both my husband and I were working from home in Austin, where he could be in charge of letting the dogs in and out of our quarter-acre back yard. The big yard also meant that ensuring they had enough exercise was as simple as taking a 15-minute break to play fetch, or rile them up via tug-of-war until they chased each other along the well-worn path around the perimeter.

My husband also took care of all the shopping for groceries and necessities. So I was free to lounge in the Fuckatorium for 10-12 hours a day, waiting for the phone to ring, writing blog posts, and hanging out on IM chat in case I could entice someone that way. We had friends in Austin, but I rarely went out socially more than twice per week, so most of my time was free to feel sexy and take calls.

Since then, we've moved to Houston, where I am more social, because my family is close by, which is awesome and emotionally nourishing, but puts a strain on me vertigo-wise. My husband got a fantastic job which requires a lot of travel, so I have much less financial pressure, but more responsibilities: chores, groceries, dog parks.

I started taking horse tranquilizers, which has obliterated my capacity to multi-task (thus the death of my casual IM chatting), but has helped ease my vertigo symptoms drastically, allowing me to go from about 30-40% pre-vertigo capacity to 50-60% pre-vertigo capacity. My increased ability to get stuff done means I regularly overshoot my medicines and wear myself out like the overachiever dork I am. Silly Galiana.

So these days, I'm logged on for phone sex less often. Although there still are bills relying on my income (including the extremely motivating category of "my spending money"), the reality is that I'm not a full-time phone girl anymore.

I think one reason I missed my anniversary is because I couldn't figure out what to put here. It seems anti-climactic to say I've gone from full-time to part-time. I still can't tell which story needs to be told. So I'm making this up as I write, feeling my way along, hoping it turns into something coherent here soon. (We can tell, it shows)(Oh hush, there's no need to be rude to yourself)(Ummmm, too late for that).

Plus, I wanted to have something special to offer, or announce, like a commemorative picture set or a "if you do this then I'll send you free minutes" kind of a thing, but nothing stood out to me as The Perfect Celebratory Offer.

In fact, I meant for this blog post to end a few paragraphs back until I figured out The Perfect Celebratory Offer, but now my Inner Therapist and Inner Writer have conspired, and have momentum, and well, who am I to stop them on the principle of posting an anniversary blog post on an actual anniversary date? Pffff. Details. So on we go.

Of course, there are numbers I could share, because I'm a data girl:

* Callers I've blocked (which means they can no longer contact me): 4 - I am happy that number is so low.

* Customers: 781 - although people who delete their accounts don't show up, so it's actually a tad higher than that.

* Most times someone has called me: 57 - I am supremely confident in my ability to get him aroused and leave him satisfied.

* Highest amount I've made from one customer after NiteFlirt's percentage: $2707 - and it is a different guy than my 57-calls customer, and about a quarter of that amount is from pay-to-views and tributes. Not bad for a girl who doesn't advertise for financial domination, right? And if you're wondering if it's you, then no, it's not you, because he knows his financial totals with me, because the money is part of his fetish.

* Verification of the 80/20 rule (80-ish% of my revenue comes from 20-ish% of my customers): yep, almost exactly.

* Overall Revenue from non-calls: about 5% - pretty good considering I don't do nearly as much to advertise my pics and videos as I could, and I never ask for tributes unless I'm doing something custom.

* Times I have rewritten my main listing: 18. Well. That's just embarrassing.

* Calls: 1840, which technically averages out to a little less than 5 per day, but I've taken off a lot of days (Slacker)(Shut up)(No, you shut up)(No, you shut up yer shuttin' up)(/giggle), so really it's a bit higher than 5. (And yes, these parentheticals are real conversations I have with myself)(Psycho)(No YOU!)

Although numbers can sometimes tell a story, in this case, they don't do justice. Not by a long shot.

A year and a fortnight ago, I thought I was more submissive sexually than dominant. After repeated exposure to the raw, powerful lust I can inspire by bringing my leadership and management skills into the bedroom, I now find the thought of a man kneeling before me, offering his mind and body as my plaything... distractingly, exquisitely, deeply arousing.

A year and a fortnight ago, I thought I would never find sexual stimulation in humiliating another person, and even if I did, I wouldn't be very good at it. After making someone come twice in ten minutes from scathingly deriding his lack of sexual adequacy, leading to an adrenaline-fueled big fat POW of an orgasm for me while I told him he could never get me off that well, I concluded I had been mistaken.

A year and a fortnight ago, I thought I was pretty savvy about kinks. After weekly exposure to new fetishes and the fetishists who crave them, I am no longer surprised when I am surprised.

A year and a fortnight ago, I wondered if my size XL body would keep me in such a small niche in the market that it would not be worth the effort to be a phone sex operator. After being begged to get on cam, produce photos, and shoot videos, I have found even more to appreciate about my body.

A year and a fortnight ago, I didn't know if I would ever be able to financially provide for myself in case of an emergency. After I knew I could, the relief and sense of empowerment has been profound.

A year and a fortnight ago, after a year of not working and not being able to go out in crowded public spaces very often, my circles of social and professional connections had contracted, and I missed the feeling of meeting new people. After developing at least a dozen crushes on callers, and at least a dozen mutually supportive co-worker relationships, and making so many connections that I have to turn off chat because I can't multi-task enough to keep up with the barrage of friendly interaction requests, my social meters are pleasantly full any time I wish.

A year and a fortnight ago, I deeply missed feeling useful. I can't explain how frustrating that was for me, and how much energy I spent trying not to feel useless.

Now, after a year and a fortnight of listening to confessions, playing catch with complex balls of emotional and sexual energy, gaining proficiency in dozens of kinks, and - most importantly - helping hundreds of callers make the transition from "I'm so horny I can't fall asleep, but I'm too distracted by thoughts of my crappy day to finish myself off alone" into the far more pleasant "Oh, wow, that felt good and /yawn and /stretch and /whew, finally I can sleep! Thank you, I needed that", now I feel extraordinarily useful as a buddy, a confessor, an outlet, a supporter, and very clearly, as a sleep aid.

(Oh, no, really, this blog post does not need the Galiana Sleep Aid commercial now playing in my head. Please turn that off. Seriously.)

You, and you, and you, and you, and especially you, you all made my first year and a fortnight as a phone sex operator possible, and fun, and exciting, and enriching, and sexy as fucking hell. Thank you.

(So what's the special offer gonna be?)(Oh, for fuck's sake, I just wrote a lovely little ending. Can we leave it at that until I figure out a worthy offer later?)(Sure thing... ya slacker.)(NO, YOU!)

Memory and Notes and Meds

Don't you trust me?
I wrote about how much I remembered vs how much I wrote in this blog post (Memory and Notes), but when I went on my horse tranquilizers mid-May (2.5 months already?), I wondered what the effect would be on my memory.

The other day I had a delightful call from a gent who has been keeping up with my blog (awwww, thank you!), and left me this feedback - I blame the typos on the ludicrously intense session he had just had with me:
"Im so glad your feeling better and I'm so so glad I got to talk to you. I would beg for you anytime if the day. Thank you again"
(side note: I shamelessly stole the idea to incorporate feedback into blog posts from Kiwi Candy, who I briefly mentored, but who now blows me out of the water and does pretty much everything better than I do. So out of mock petty jealousy over her success, now I'm stealing her good ideas. Good thing she thinks I'm cute, and I've shared at least seven callers with her, or she might get mad.)

I found with him, as I have been finding with callers lately, that my memory of past calls seems unaffected. Sure, I get a helpful boost from a specific in a note if I have one, like "a sensual hand job can beat penetration," which can give me lovely, naughty, teasing, ideas with just a slight twist of my wrist near the top of the stroke... oh wait, where was I? Oh right.

Even if I don't have great notes, or if I'm in a different room than my computer, as long as there was a connection, even if it's been six months or more, I can often remember plenty.

Examples: The guy who started the conversation wanting to be exposed? By his voice, I remembered how big that cock was, the first one he ever sucked, in a car in a parking lot just after the sun had set, even though I'd never written that down. The guy with the thick mob-underling accent who wanted to be told how to masturbate? I remembered to ask him if he had his vibrating egg and nipple clamps, which was in my notes, but my computer was rebooting when he called, so they were inaccessible.

And the guy above who left me that sweet feedback? I remembered that he liked his sensuality mixed with a splash of domination, so, armed with my new, deeper understanding of tease and long-term denial, I let all kinds of torturous thoughts plague him before he found out whether or not I would ever finish my countdown from 10 to... that magic number he was dying to hear, but not sure he'd get to...