Monday, September 27, 2010

Big Black Cock and... Washing Machines?

I finally opened my new Big Black Cock dildo, which I bought for the photo shoot last week. I was going to stick it on the wall of the shower and fuck it, but the shoot ran long, so I ran out of steam before I got to the shower at all (note to self: that still sounds like fun - you must do that soon).

Today, I finally used the dildo for the first time, for the monster cock caller I talked about here. It was, as advertised, big. It has a completely different dynamic going in than smaller toys - it requires more force, and I can feel it in completely different places on its way in and out.

Then, after the call, after I washed it, in a spectacular display of un-sexiness, it smells like sex toy - like silicon, or rubber, or whatever the real-skin material is. In fact, the scent is so strong that it has filled my beloved fuckatorium (which some would unimaginatively refer to as a guest bedroom) with sensory memories of baby powder and the desperate need to masturbate (I used to baby powder all my sex toys).

Seems sad to be left there, poor thing
Because it was distracting me, I realized I need to air it out. Sticking it outside won't do, because we have neighbors with two-story homes who clearly see our back yard. I needed to choose a room with a fan that we don't need to use for the rest of the day, like... the laundry room! Perfect! So I turned on the fan in the laundry room and used the suction cup to secure it to the washing machine.

The dildo is bigger than it looks. It's a big washing machine. Like 15 bath towels or something superlative like that.

But the important question here, really, is: how many homes have a Big Black Cock stuck to their washing machine?

I live an extraordinarily strange life.

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