Monday, August 16, 2010

Yes I'm Married - Yes He Knows - No He's Not Listening

Yep, I'm married - to a wonderful, geeky guy I met in 2003 at a now-defunct online dating site.

Yep, he knows I'm a PSO (phone sex operator).

No, he's not listening in on calls. I'm in the guest bedroom, which has my computer and all our sex toys in it. If he's home, he's in his office, where he runs two noisy fans for heat dispersal (the office is full of computers and sits over the garage, so temperature control is a problem). He can't hear anything - I've tested it. He's happy to let me do my work while he does his thing.

Yes, I tell him about some calls. I have nicknames for clients (clients? callers? I can't figure out what to call people who call me) like "Butt Slut" (how the caller referred to himself) and "Inception Guy". Sometimes he gives me empathic insight to turn them on more next time they call. Sometimes he just listens wide-eyed and slack-jawed, amazed. And sometimes I'll describe something in such a way as to start him off on a string of increasingly absurd what-if scenarios until we're both giggling like morons... but he does that with everything we talk about. Just like Jessica Rabbit, I'm a sucker for a guy who makes me laugh.

He's proud of me for having done better than we expected so quickly. He's taking pictures of me tomorrow (when the reddening effects of today's waxing hopefully will have subsided some) to list in picture packs for sale.

He loves that I'm enjoying myself, that I'm meeting interesting people, and that I'm having a few really satisfying orgasms along the way. Long before PSO work started, we were not monogamous. He's seen other people give me orgasms before in person, so knowing that it's happening over the phone is absolutely fine. 

I like to describe our arrangement as a "French Marriage" - he's my life partner, roommate, co-decision maker, partner in family matters, and supporter when rough times come... and yes, my lover as well. But since sex can be overshadowed by life-concerns with your life partner, it's prudent to have a lover or two on the side, protected from the concerns of life, whose only requirements are to be sexually compatible, and not irritating to spend leisure time with. But your lover doesn't have to agree with how you raise the kids (or in our case, dogs but no kids), how you spend money, what kind of house you live in, or how often you travel to visit whose family members. S/He just has to take you away to fuck-bliss often enough to energize you. 

I'm fortunate enough to have a real-life male lover who fills my sexual energy tank quite nicely, and a long-distance "girlfriend" who I talk with at least once a month, but I've only been with in person 5 times in the past 8 years. 

So, that's the deal on my real-life situation. Maybe I'm supposed to keep it a big mystery, but I prefer honesty in life, and lying only in role-plays... 

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