Friday, October 15, 2010

Happy Quarter Anniversary!

Today I have been a phone sex operator (PSO) for three months. Happy Quarter Anniversary!

My husband and I have a tradition at milestones (anniversaries, birthdays, holidays): we go to dinner someplace yummy and quiet-ish, and each answer a few questions. We've had wonderful conversations that way, so I'm going to continue the tradition here. Feel free to ask other questions if you have them.

What is your favorite memory (from being a PSO these past three months)?
There's no way to pick only one. If you go to my blog and click on the "fave" label, so far there are 31 entries! But if I break into categories, I can come up with a few memorable standouts.

Fave introduction: "Perv Card" saying "After reading your feedback, I'd be a dumbass not to call you."

Fave subject change: "Doc Cupid" starting the conversation all toppy and growly, and when he had me tied down and teased and confused and begging, asking me, "What were your SAT scores?" (read my listing if that doesn't make sense)  

Fave role play: Cat-burglar-ing into a safe and being caught by "Agent Jones." I held my own in our witty banter, and came up with a couple of nice twists on my own. That may have been the conversation where I finally believed I could do this job.

Fave nickname: "Gravely Moon" - his voice is all rough and like gravel when we're in a role play, and the first time we played, he described the moonlight pouring in the window. Since then, no matter where the scene is theoretically set, once we start playing, it always fades to moonlight.

Fave bad guess: When "Sweet and Slow" got on cam for me, and he looked utterly different than I had imagined. Yummy.

Fave nickname change: When I realized "Dirty Reader" - who loves dirty words and dirty thoughts and having me read my dirty blog entries to him out loud - needed to be re-nicknamed as "The Omnivore", because he finds something sexy about almost every type of woman on earth. His list of things we must talk about some day would probably take 24 hours of phone time to complete.

Fave switch: "Mistress Slut", a cross-dressing switch, who hopefully didn't realize that I was terrified at the thought of switching and being his/her Mistress for a change. S/he was gracious enough to shower me with praise, which built my confidence to start taking Mistress calls for real.

Fave feedback: Although we all know I live for feedback, the thing that has stuck with me was when "True Sighs" called me brave. "Chilled Haiku" and "Dirty Reader" and "Gravely Moon" all asked me later if it was them who had called me brave, because they had thought it, too. Thanks guys /sniffle

If you could change anything, what would you change (from being a PSO these past three months)? 
I wish I'd understood from the beginning only to get on the phones when I am feeling strong and sexy and rested - the calls I took when I was feeling otherwise were draining, and clearly not my best effort. 

What have you learned about yourself (by being a PSO these past three months)? 
This list may be as long as favorites. In addition to all gents mentioned above, "Inception Guy" and "Bored Banker" and "Unique Snowflake" especially helped me explore myself, either by pushing my imagination, playing with my boundaries, or toying with spaces where I was not entirely comfortable. And "Butt Slut" and "The Wanker" engaged me in meta-conversations about my job which helped me put all kinds of thoughts and feelings into words. 

A few years ago, a newly divorcing friend wanted to find a fuck buddy, but she was insecure about her small breasts, the fact she has kids, and her hippie vegetarian lifestyle. I bet her $100 that I couldn't afford to lose that if she put up a sex-positive, completely honest ad for a month, she would be so overwhelmed with offers that she'd have to take down her listing. Two weeks later, she called and said she had never felt more desirable in her life. "I'm funny, I'm smart, I have a great smile, I have a delicious body... You don't have to pay up, thank you!" 

I kind of feel like that. Like each caller has given me a different mirror, a new chance to examine myself. I'm more creative sexually than I'd given myself credit for. I'm better able to bring my leadership / bossy / dominating skills into the bedroom than I'd given myself credit for. My self-confidence and playful enjoyment of sex can show through in pictures in ways that I could not have imagined; I assumed my average-or-larger body size would distract, but no, it turns out that plenty of you can see my mischief just fine. And, it turns out, you're awfully fond of my boobs.  

But most of all, I've proven that I can work again. The... It... I... Wow. It means a lot to me (background story here).

What do you hope for the next three months as a PSO?
Overall, I hope I get as many smart, fun, creative, emotionally honest, sex-positive calls as I can handle, while magically never frustrating anyone when I am busy. Protectively, I hope I continue to take good care of myself physically and emotionally. Socially, I hope I continue to connect well with a few new callers each week - I enjoy meeting new people as well as deepening existing relationships. As a writer, I hope I continue to stay fascinated by the incredible stories I have the privilege to collect and co-create, and that I continue to be inspired to write them down. 

Emotionally, I hope I continue to explore the different sides of me that show up in the mirrors that you hold up, that I never take them for granted, and that I find ways to celebrate all of them. 

How would you summarize your first three months as a PSO?
By the numbers: I have talked with more than 250 unique callers, spent more than 150 hours on the phone, sent more than 1500 emails, revised my listings a combination of 75 times across 10 categories, and had two listings hit the front page as high as position #5 (maybe only late at night on a Wednesday, but still... it happened). 

By my heart: I feel sexier, more powerful, and more sure of myself than I ever have. I feel like I have dozens of lovers, which makes me feel naughty and delicious. I feel intensely grateful for my success thus far. I'm looking forward to a festive holiday season with all my new friends. 

I love my new job. So much. Thank you for letting me do it!


  1. I am honored to be mentioned and I am just as enamored of you as the first time we fucked. You are amazing and my life is richer every day for knowing you.