Friday, September 17, 2010

You Remind Me Of...

I have a normal, average face. It's balanced. It's round. And my figure is statistically almost dead center average for American women. I don't think of myself as having extraordinary features. That's not meant to fish for compliments, it's just how I see myself, and I'm fine with all that.

In my off-phone life, I've heard, "You remind me of..." a lot. People often try to figure out how they know me, and when it's clear there's no overlap, I tell them, "It's okay, it happens to me a lot."

I just realized that I could completely wreck someone's day by saying "Oh, I'm a phone sex worker, do you call?" Do. Not. Do. That. Now I can't stop laughing. One day I'm going to be like Alice in Dilbert trying to control her fists of death, biting my thumb to keep from asking that question to some poor innocent guy in front of his girlfriend.

So, anyway, let's see if I can stop being a total bitch long enough to remember where we were. Oh yes. So now that I'm a phone sex operator, several callers have told me that I remind them of people. That part isn't a surprise.

What is a surprise is all the deliciously naughty things my doppelgangers have been doing for the past 30 years! Climbing into the backs of cars with men they hardly know, inviting men to masturbate in the bathroom while they shower, begging to be taught how to like anal sex... you go girls!

These calls all have a similar quality, a breathy, shell-shocked sound to them when they start, as if they're trying to figure out if maybe I might actually be her. Or as if talking with a her-look-alike is overloading their fantasy pathways with too many possibilities. It's a fun way to start, even if the lust isn't solely directed at me.

They usually want me to step into that woman's skin and replay their memory, but sometimes, they want me there, with that woman, all three of us together. How bizarre and cool would it be to have the chance to make out with a woman who looks just like me? The one woman I've played with most often sort of resembles me, and that is always amazing, so I think it would be oddly seductive. Or freaky. But I'm going to go with oddly seductive for now until I find out for sure.

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