The Big Present

New pretties

Although my 40th birthday isn't until Saturday, today is my big present: a photo shoot with Vivian Ronelle (http://vivianronelle.com/), erotic photographer extraordinaire.

Friday, I went shopping for new lingerie. I haven't bought new lingerie in years, because although I love to dress up, I keep taking lovers who prefer just plain naked, so my limited lingerie choices have been more than sufficient.

On a practical level, I am going to be arranging the pictures into packages to sell. So yes, today is a career investment.

But on an emotional level, even if I never sell a single picture, I am still giddy at the thought of celebrating my sexuality, and my body, at age 40, unashamed of my non-Hollywood shape. I look forward to being on the phone when someone opens an email with a new picture of me in it, so I can hear his breath catch with lust. I wish that every woman on earth could feel as affirmed and adored and desirable as I have felt for the last two months doing this job. Using my own pictures was an amazingly good decision for me.

I am seeing myself through different eyes, dozens of perspectives, changing with each call, and I am able to see the things that draw others to me in a way that ... well... wow... who gets to live like this? Happy birthday, indeed.