Friday, September 10, 2010

Dirty Words: Request For Help

I need your help.

I was never a particularly dirty or mean person before I was a phone sex operator, and now people are asking me to say dirty, mean things all the time. I mean, sure, I could get the basics, "Harder. Faster. Deeper. More. Don't fucking stop," but now, looking back, I realize I was in the amateur league. I was always willing to go dirtier, but never actually called upon to do so.

So now, I need you to tell me what I'm missing. Nouns and adjectives, please. Well, heck, any part of speech if it fits.

Potentially mean dirty things to call men, off the top of my head: prick, asshole, pig, jerk, bastard, dick, psycho, sociopath, loser, nerd, dweeb, son of a bitch, fucker, wanker... (and is asshat just amusing or actually mean?), stupid, useless, dumb, inadequate, flaccid, fat, chubby, pudgy, tiny, weak, pathetic.

Potentially mean dirty things to call women / myself, off the top of my head: bitch, slut, whore, cunt, stupid, useless, hole, baby-maker, breeding tube, cumslut, cumrag, ragdoll, fat, chubby, pudgy, thick, inadequate, weak, pathetic.

And the big one for American women... cow. Oh yeah. That's right. I said it. I said the new "C" word right fucking there. I am off. the fucking. chain. /giggle

Silliness aside, I need a wider repertoire. I'm two months in and already feeling stale. Here, I'll repeat the phrase from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang that has been bouncing around my head for two days for no apparent reason, with one word changed:
Readers, use your awesome might to save me from this hopeless plight. 
Leave 'em in comments or Thanks!


  1. For comments directed at women I personally am a fan of the following (and mind you, these are words I would ONLY use during the sexual act): bitch, whore, cum bucket, slut, cum slut, nasty whore (and then insert other nouns following nasty and or dirty), my whore, my cum slut, my slut, cock sucker, my nasty bitch, my nasty slut, my little cum slut, my nasty little cum slut, to name a few.

    Why am I so anal? Sorry. Is there a hyphen in cum slut? Cum-slut?

  2. Anon: I think you'd hyphenate cum-slut if it were being used as a multi-part adjectival modifier to some other term (ex: "Take it, you cum-slut bitch"), but by itself, I think it would be simply "cum slut."

    (side note: I cracked myself up by using the phrase "adjectival modifier" during this conversation)

    Also, could you do me a favor and please call me tonight and say every single one of those things to me? Reading your list made Inner Slut all thumpy. Pretty pretty pretty please?

  3. Damn! Knowing I made you thumpy is quickly making me thumpy...and I don't even know exactly what thumpy means, but I like it. Unfortunately I didn't read your request for me to call you until today (Thursday - gobble, gobble)

    Ironically, being the geek that I am, I was turned on (aka got thumpy) simply by reading your grammatical analysis of the word(s) cum-slut vis a vis cum slut.

    But as much as I have fought it throughout my life, what can I say? I am a sucker for a cum-slut who knows how to diagram a sentence.

    Alas, today I did get my credits at niteflirt and I did watch Sybian Part 3. Talk about getting thumpy! That short clip did it for me.

  4. HvonW, I'm so glad! Thumpy (a phrase I think I made up) is distinctive genital pulsating when I am not turned on, but have a non-physical stimulus that rapidly rushes blood & my attention to my nether regions. It usually lasts for a few heartbeats, and it's fun :)

  5. Yes! I actually have been thumpy before. In fact probably a few times a day. Hearing from you, and certainly when I talk to you, makes me thumpy.