The religious tradition of my upbringing discussed the phrase "Deep calls unto deep" not only in context of the relationship between human and divine, but also between humans. I was encouraged to share my most personal thoughts and struggles with whole groups of people, both so they would be encouraged to share just as deeply, and so they would know how to help care for me as a community. I know it's not true for all communities like that, but I was fortunate: ours was genuine, loving, and safe.
So I shared. Deeply. At almost 40, still, some of best friends came from that era. And I have an enduring belief, for better or worse, that calling out to someone by sharing of yourself can be richly worth any risk. Sure, you may be giving someone the key to hurting your feelings, but most people won't. Or that's the hope anyway.
I don't know that I'm approaching phone sex as deep calling unto deep, necessarily, but I think I'm operating at least under "Like calls to like." I emphasize that I'm smart in hopes of attracting intelligent company. I show my real pictures to draw the emotionally honest. I seem "sex-positive" because I want to play in sexual spaces. I repeat the word fun to fill my hours with laughter.
And I write this blog, letting all my fascination spill out, not only as a chronicle to help me savor the succulent details, but also in hopes of bringing in wordy, thoughtful, creative people who are a little curious to peek behind the curtains on both sides themselves.
It's horrifically selfish, really. By sharing what I enjoy, I hope to create more of it. Greedy, greedy me.
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