Thursday, November 4, 2010

New Strangest Call

He asks if size matters, so I start in my small penis humiliation thing. He says he's Asian, and since I don't do racial degradation, I stay with SPH. I tell him I'd never fuck him, but not because he's Asian, just because he's too small.*
Then he tells me, "I'm going to make an Asian noise for you" and spends the rest of call making a continuous grunting noise, as if imitating a pig/bear/monkey/goat who is in some discomfort. He occasionally interrupts himself to bark out, "White Woman!!"

That isn't racial degradation, right? Just a baffling pronouncement of some kind.

I tell him he is the least desirable sicko pervert I'd ever spoken to. We get the 1-minute warning, and I tell him I hope he doesn't renew. HE DOES. For a grand total of 8 minutes on the call altogether.

Then I made the mistake of telling the story to my smart-aleck husband, who now calls me "White Woman" in a gruff voice, then giggles hysterically. I should know better than to tell him stories like that... Oh, wait, or probably to you too...

If you wrote that into a work of fiction, nobody would believe you. And the press would murder you. And yet, someone paid hard-earned to have that conversation with me. Actually, can you call it a conversation if it mostly consists of prolonged grunting noises? 

Remember my post a few weeks ago about developing crushes? And how some other phone sex operators treated me like I was INSANE for developing crushes on callers. If I only had calls like that, I would understand the response.

Hopefully, either he never reads my blog, or he reads my blog and gets off on holding the current title Least Sexy Caller.

* For the record: size really doesn't matter, at least not with me. Since I'm not monogamous anyway, I assume I'll have partners with a full spectrum of penis sizes throughout my life. I like toys and tongues and fingers and grinding my clit against a pubic bone way too much to knock someone out of the running for having a small dick. Vaginal nerve endings are mostly external, except for the g-spot, and there are plenty of ways to hit that. Creativity trumps size, every time.

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