Monday, November 1, 2010

Fuckatorim Re-Organization

I take phone sex calls in the guest bedroom, which is now known as "The Fuckatorium" in our home.

The bed used to have a wooden headboard / frame that my parents got when they moved back to Texas after his service in the Army, which means it's possible that I was conceived on that bed. But the support boards are a tad too short, so they kept falling out, which caused bizarre lumps and bends in the bed, so spending extended periods of time in it started to hurt my back.

So we pulled the box springs and mattress off the frame and got a memory foam mattress topper, which made the bed infinitely more comfortable - tremendous success. But we put the bed in the corner under the window, which caused glare, and it made it very awkward to fix the mattress topper when it starts sliding off the mattress (which it does daily).

I've been mulling how to reconfigure. Here were my goals:
  • no window glare when I'm working on my laptop, from the bed or the desk
  • more surface / shelf space within easy reach of the bed for: 
    • sex toys
    • drinks and snacks
    • my laptop
    • my bone phone, back up bone phone, iPhone
    • iPhone charger so I can lie down and play games and charge the phone all at once
  • my desk for when I have to do paperwork, or just want an ergonomic change of position 
  • trash and a recycling bin 
  • candles and lamps, because sometimes I pretend that I can decorate and make things pretty ... it's a start 
I think I might have figured it all out!
The bed is now away from the wall enough for me to wedge myself into the corner to fix the sliding mattress topper. Such a relief!

The sheets are one color of maroon, the top blanket is another maroon, and the blanket in the middle is green. Feel free to get me an Amazon gift card for hundreds of dollars to buy coordinated linens, but until that happens, I'm going with what we have that feels comfy instead of what looks good.

The grey towel on the bed is because I love fucking and masturbating on towels - they are easier to wash and put away than sheets and blankets, and cheaper to replace if you ruin them. So the towel is in case I leave a wet spot when I masturbate, or need a spot to lay a juicy vibrator after I come. Honestly.

The nifty sewing table on the right somewhat overhangs the bed so I can easily reach more surface space from the bed, either lying or sitting. It's got a bone phone on it. It will be a great spot to quickly put my laptop when I get up (phone rings, I need to get up without dropping my laptop, shut the door, take a big swig of water, and make sure my notes spreadsheet is open on my laptop because if I don't write down the name I'll forget it... so efficiency matters).

The shelves on the left have most of their surface area facing the bed ...

So much shelf space within easy reach! I'm so excited!

Top left to right: candle and lighter, then Hand/foot lotion for when I remember to pamper myself, and probable landing place for ponytail holders and hair clips. Then bone phone and iPhone charger on an extension cord (I took the pics with the iPhone, but normally it will be between the lotion and the bone phone).

Bottom left to right: orange "beginner" size butt plug, purple bumpy rabbit vibrator, teal waterproof vibrator with a pointed curved end, fat red vibrator with a g-spot curve, pink egg on a stick vibe, bamboo spoon for paddling, condoms and gloves for easy cleanup after anal play, adjustable nipple clamps on chains (two sets), medium-strength clothes pins, and lube.

That's just a small part of my toy collection, though. The rest are here, in their new home:

A big plastic bin with well-labeled bags by category. Visible are backup ropes, insertables, cuffs, other clamps and clips, and the first aid kit. Under there are floggers, Vac-U-Loc toys, strap ons, more rope, more vibrators, leashes and collars, and supplies for cleaning and care. I bought almost all of it when I was single in my early 30s. It was kind of a hobby for a while. /blush

Next to the toy bin are a trash can and a recyclables bin. It'll make it so much easier to be a lazy but ecologically responsible snacker. 

Last but not least, the desk and "wall decoration":

I didn't want to put the headboard / footboard in the garage because it's not climate controlled, so now they're decorations! Right? Or clutter? Hard to tell, so I'm going with "decoration". But the desk is close enough to the bed so I can leave my laptop plugged into the same outlet in either location, which I hope will encourage me to shift spots more often.

Hopefully I thought of most things this time, and I won't feel the need to restructure it again.  Also, hopefully I'll get at least an hour notice if anyone needs to stay there to clear out the sex toys.

Thank you for partaking in the November Fuckatorium Tour!

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