Saturday, November 6, 2010

Girls Next Door Are Freaks

I recently moved a listing to "Fantasy --> Girls Next Door" that wasn't doing well in another category. Man, I should have done that a long time ago! Not only is my listing there usually in the top 10 for the category, but I've been getting fun new callers from it.

I should have known, because in my "Sex" listing and my "BBW" listing, I regularly get requests for girl-next-door fantasies: for me to come over and seduce my neighbor, or to be seduced when he finally admits his long-time crush on me. I think of Girl Next Door and I think natural, relaxed, friendly, pro-sex... all things I consider myself, so I'm a dumbass for not listing there from the start. Did I think I was too old? I dunno. Dumbass.

Anyway, self-flagellation aside, here's the funny thing I wanted to write about: I have not yet gotten a girl-next-door fantasy request on my Girls Next Door listing!

Instead, I've gotten requests for (in order by decreasing similarity to the girl-next-door fantsy):
  • With no explanation of our relationship or how we know each other, he's in control and teases me with our clothes on, makes me undress him, then go down on him while I play with myself. (hey, that sounds remarkably similar to the "plot" of my first recorded listing - so far so good)
  • I'm a nurse where he's recovering from having broken both arms, so he can't jack himself off. I help him and it turns out I have a serious semen fetish, so I beg for him to shoot down my throat, and then don't tell my boss! (mmm giving head to a guy who can't move his hands - yummy)
  • I'm fucking him with a strap-on while he's watching a girl with giant boobs get fucked by a guy with a giant cock. Then she decides to join us and blow him until he comes on her huge breasts. (what's not to love about giant boobs and giant cocks and my strap-on?)
  • He asks me what I like and what toys I have, and becomes momentarily paralyzed by the sound of me spanking myself. When he regains speech, he guides me down to my knees and uses my mouth. (momentary caller paralysis is awfully gratifying)
  • I go to an interview for a research position at a university, where it turns out they're testing a compound that makes semen taste better. They need someone who can orally bring men to climax, and also design and defend the research methodology and run statistical models (having PhD statistician friends comes in handy in surprising ways). The interview includes a demonstration of my blow job technique. I got the job! (so. awesome. In so many ways. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.)
  • I seduce him and his wife in a bar, then take them back to my hotel, where there are three big guys waiting for us. The four of us tie him up, gang up on his wife in the most delicious way (she surprises all of us by liking it), and then using my strap-on on him while one of the guys uses his mouth. (Ummmm, wait, what? How did that start as girl-next-door at all?)
  • Laws have just been passed to wipe the intelligence and will from all women. First, an interview before I am reprogrammed shows I'm a smart, angry feminist. Then, the interview after the reprogramming reveals I'm a happy submissive ditzball who can't do math or understand television, but looooooves walking around naked all the time and giving head to every man who requests it. (This was surprisingly fun to play, after I tied up my Inner Feminist and gave her ear plugs)
  • He is one of a harem of submissive men who serve me: breakfast in bed, housework, massages, and then I tie him up and tease and flog and clamp him, and force him to watch me get gang-banged by the rest of my harem. (Oh, sure, my roomie and I had a submissive harem for a while after college... oh wait, no, we totally didn't)
Apparently girls next door absolutely cannot get enough cock or cum in their mouth (definitely the right category for me), and y'know, sometimes assemble gangs or harems to serve them sexually. Typical wholesome American girl activities, right?

I shouldn't have been surprised. I know by now that people call my submissive line to have me top them, and my spanking line to get pegged with a strap-on. And yet... I'm surprised! And amused. And finding myself looking forward to adventures with a grin when I get a new caller in GND.

In particular, that university research fantasy could not be any more deliciously adorable, could it? I went with the idea that the compound stimulates every taste bud it touches in a pleasing way, so it was like having an Everlasting Gobstopper of cum. Too over the top?

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