Sunday, November 28, 2010

Becoming Mistress Galiana

Today's post brought to you by... I'm on the front page of Fetish -> Fem Dommes! And pleasantly shocked by that!

Three months ago, I wrote a blog post about being an on-phone Mistress. A commenter wrote, "I can't help but wonder if this Mistress Galiana isn't closer to who you are becoming?" I replied:
"I have about 4 more blog posts started to explore that very question, but the very short summary is: I've always been a social and professional switch (can bottom or top as needed), but never figured out how to translate it to the bedroom before now. I'm looking forward to continuing to explore it.

I know I'll never be just a Mistress. I know I'll always be a switch. I trust that I will eventually be confident as a Mistress, just as confident as I was as a Tech Manager after I'd been a Tech Manager for 6 years. Wow. I hope it doesn't take me 6 years this time."
It didn't take 6 years. It took about 50 calls. Patterns are beginning to emerge.

I have to talk about it first. As it says in my Domme and Hypno listings, negotiation is mandatory. Everyone wants a different blend of restraint, feminization, sensory overload, sensory deprivation, guided masturbation, tease and denial, pain, reward, punishment, encouraging or requiring bisexual activity, and/or cuckolding role play. Submissives who expect me to launch into a script tend to hang up on me. People who want an unusual blend, or a bit of connection before we play, are the ones who tend to call me back.

I love boys with toys. When a sub says he has a cock ring and a butt plug and a dildo and a flogger and clothespins, it's like having a road map to delicious sadistic debauchery. I know, that's lazy of me. But I love it. 

I understand. My honesty about being a switch has attracted some who want to know their Mistress understands their side of the fence. Because I have also experienced the delicious thrill of having a Master's or Mistress' complete and utter attention, knowing they have our mutual pleasure in mind, I am able to give that same focus. 

I want the best from them. If someone craves tease and denial before they climax, I want them to be sweating before I allow them to come. If someone wants to improve their cock sucking skills, I want to see that lipstick ring all the way down to the base of that dildo. I know having someone else spur you on helps you stretch yourself, and it's amazingly erotic.

I want the best for them. I genuinely want to help people be their best. So if someone is confessing guilt to me about things they found erotic, but disturbing, with another Mistress, I'm happy to guide them away from those pitfalls and toward new ways of experiencing pleasure. I especially feel like I'm helping sissies become their best, because there's so much to learn about being a good slutty girl! Heels! Makeup! Fellatio! Oh my!

I love erotic hypnosis. I am finding it amazingly gratifying to to be able to tell someone, "I am pleased with you," and hear them shudder with erotic pleasure. I'm not interested in brainwashing someone to their detriment, but I will enhance an orgasm every day of the week. Taking someone deep and strengthening their response to my voice is just fun. 

I have limits. But I wrote about those in this blog post, so I won't repeat them.

Wads of cash are not appearing. Financial domination is much more often a fantasy than a reality. The urge to pamper me and buy me gifts tends to disappear about 5 seconds after an orgasm. I believe that some women get large tributes from real financial submissives, but so far, I am not one of those women. I'm still enjoying the heck out of those calls - it is just as much fun to fantasize about being spoiled as it is to fantasize about seducing neighbors or being the lucky girl in a gang bang. But it ain't real so far.

I need to improve: teasing. I'm getting better at drawing out a teasing session, and I know dozens of ways to stimulate a cock with my fingers and tongue, but I still suck at staying away from a cock. I mean, honestly, it's right there, twitching at me, how can I ignore it? Plus, I have vivid memories of saying that I want to be teased for 30 minutes, but then 15 minutes into it, I'm dying to come, so I still tend to cave too quickly. I'm getting better. My pacing control is improving, and I'm remembering to interrupt the action more often. But there's plenty of room to grow.

I need to improve: return conditions. When a submissive promises me he won't masturbate until he calls back, and then he doesn't call back, I wonder: is he concerned I'll be upset? I won't be. It just shows how weak he is without my guidance and how much he needs me to help him be his best. Right? But how do you communicate that without giving someone an "easy way out" and being a wimpy Mistress? Confusing.

I still need to improve: humiliation. Sometimes I can be ruthlessly cutting - when I heard myself asking a painslut small penis humiliation subby if a penis that small was even capable of feeling pain and described flumping it with my finger, I realized my s.p.h. has gotten pretty solid. And I'm almost always much more cruel the second and third time we talk than the first, as if it has to soak into my subconscious that he really does get an erotic charge from this, but it would be lovely if I could jump in more easily. 

I summed it all up pretty neatly in an email to a financial submissive who changed his mind after he climaxed: 
I think sexual experience and sexual expression can help people on their path to becoming the best version of themselves. I don't personally understand how being humiliated or financially dominated can fulfill someone, but I know how being beaten helped me, and that is equally irrational.
Since I have limits of what I would say (and many other Mistresses do not seem to), I like to think that at least I'm a slightly safer pool to splash about it. The rocks you're drawn to by my siren voice are, hopefully, only foam board, and your ship should stay perfectly safe with me.
I'm loving becoming Mistress Galiana, so much more than I thought I would. Bring it on.

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