Friday, August 27, 2010

What I Want: Honesty

My "Butt Slut" asked me some thought-provoking questions when we were getting to know each other, figuring out if I was the right Mistress for him. The most helpful to me were, "What do you want out of a submissive / client / caller?" and "What kind of person do you hope shows up for you?" The answers, of course, are interlaced.

What I want, first and foremost, is honesty. I don't care what you tell me or what you withhold, but I want to feel the honesty in what you do share. When you tell me what turns you on and what you want from me, I want to hear your breath catch, your voice intensify.

When I ask if I'm pleasing you, don't lie. Not even one little bit. When you tell me what you liked, or what I can do better next time (yes! please! do! really!), I want to feel it reverberate inside you. If we've always started our calls with pleasant chats for a few minutes, but today you just want to fucking toss me against a wall and have your way with me, go for it. Please. Seriously. Yum.

Does honesty rule out role play? HECK NO. I loooooove me some pretending, but in those pretend spaces, I want honesty in what you're feeling. For example, "Agent Jones" and I had a scrumptious role play where I was a femme fatale cat burglar who he caught in his office. I knew I was going to be arrested, so I begged him to give me one last good solid fucking before I went away. As I was begging and he was teasing, he kept asking me who I worked for, and my story kept changing, so obviously, in the role play, I was lying my ass off to him. But there was honest amusement in the banter, and honest begging from me because I was getting turned on, and honest pleasure and lust from both of us.

Of course, honesty is reciprocal: If someone pauses mid-role-play and asks an honest question, I give an honest answer. Yes, I'm touching myself, or no I'm not. Yes, this is turning me on, or no it's not my thing but I'm loving how turned on you are! Yes, I really just came, or ... ummm... wait, why would I lie about that when I can have multiple orgasms in a day?

I mean sure, I've faked orgasms on quickie calls where the first words were "Suck it baby", because clearly that's what is being implicitly requested. But if someone is looking for an honest interchange of sexual energy with me, I'm there.

(Oh, dear. Now you're all going to start calls with "Suck it baby", aren't you? You totally are. *sigh*)

Most of all, I love when you're honest about what you want. When you've got an idea all tangled up inside you, waiting to be fleshed out with a responsive partner. My ego loves knowing that you chose me, that you wanted to share it with me, that you trusted me with that craving. And afterwards, I want to know if I did well, if I co-created with you in a way that satisfied your hunger.

So what kind of honesty is that? It's not disclosure honesty, because there are tons of things you'll never tell me and I don't care -- like, for starters, your full name. And it's not literal situational honesty, because that would rule out role plays.

I guess it's emotional honesty - I crave the honest truth about how you feel. So. that's the first thing I want. Emotional honesty.

More answers to What I Want in other posts.

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