Saturday, March 5, 2011

Reluctantly Considering Time Limits

The business of phone sex is wildly unpredictable on an individual level, as I've proven by my unsuccessful attempts to find trends in my calls, and as backed up by the anecdotes of other phone pros.

So I was pleasantly surprised Thursday night by having an almost-3-hour call (cock-teasing and the philosophy of orgasm denial). Whew! That's a great way to come back online! Plus I had a couple of shorter calls (a guided masturbation and a fun "pleasure genie" fantasy), all from regulars who had been awaiting my return.

Last night started with a common rhythm: a 34-minute call, followed by a short break, followed by a 10-minute call, followed by a short break. That's a pattern I can easily sustain, especially since the callers were people I already knew I enjoyed talking with.

I was pleasantly surprised when the third caller was new - he had found me while I was away, and we'd emailed back and forth, but it is always encouraging to attract new friends. Imagine my surprise when I realized we'd been on the phone for three hours! The time was flying getting to know him: he's a delightful mattress-humping humiliation junkie who shared his exquisite fantasies of extraordinary emotional degradation. I had no idea we were going to go that long! 

(side note: understandably, once again, I did not send out a mass email on the phone sex system announcing my return. Nor did I double back and send a more personal response to the nice emails I got while I was gone. I will send those emails some day soon, when my schedule is a little more consistent, and the phone isn't ringing steadily, because I'd hate to send that email and then be completely unavailable - it seems (a) rude and (b) counter-productive as a marketing technique.)

When we were done, I flopped into bed, happy, but exhausted, and I stayed there for 13 hours -- sleeping, then being brought "breakfast" in bed by my hub, then snuggling with the hub and the dogs, and then, unbelievably, going back to sleep! So although I didn't feel like I was pushing too hard, last night, I was probably was pushing a bit too hard. Phooey.

(side note: "breakfast" was a Gino's East deep dish pepperoni pizza, sent by a friend as a housewarming gift -- YUM -- I have the most awesome friends)

I usually sleep 9 hours at a time, tops, and when I'm fully rested, my average is more like 7.5 hours. Because of the vertigo, I have to rest more than most people, but even so, 13 hours is crazy, even for me.

A possibly contributing factor: my husband and one of my nieces is fighting off a sore-throat version of The Crud (my nickname for flus and colds and other unpleasant short-term maladies), so it's possible that my body is fighting off an impending crud attack as well (so far, I'm blessedly crud-free, but sniffly from mild dust allergies, so I'm monitoring my health).

So. I'm considering imposing a time limit for a while to ensure that I rest enough. But I hate the thought of it. But I probably should.

I'll never answer the phone if I can't talk for at least an hour - that's my minimum limit. But even at the beginning of my evening, I'm considering a 90-minute cap for a while, until I feel like I'm 100% post-move back on my feet, and free and clear of threat of the crud.

Part of me despises the idea of time limits. Ugh. A long call is the very essence of using your time efficiently: with a multi-hour call, you're not wasting time being ready, waiting for the phone to ring. And since my long calls tend to be people I genuinely enjoy spending time with, having conversations I genuinely find interesting, it's also somewhat emotionally painful to cut the conversation short -- I don't want to convey personal rejection! I have had a time limit caller call back after I took a break, and that worked out fantastically, but I feel guilty... entitled... princess-ey... grrrr.

Plus, enforcing time limits sucks. If the caller is someone who I know likes to talk for a while, I can say up front, "I need to take a break after 90 minutes" but then it's up to me to keep an eye on the clock, and I hate having to tell someone, "I'm sorry you haven't finished yet, but I have to go."... so I tend to push for a finish, which sometimes just backfires into both of us feeling frustrated... Byuck. Pthththth. I don't like it.

But long calls have down sides: you don't get to take a break to catch your breath, go to the potty, get a drink, get a snack, check email, and breathe deeply and ask yourself honestly if you have the energy to keep going.

Blarg. I hate having to have boundaries and limitations. Can't I be Superman and simply fly a little closer to the sun to recharge back to full? Surely I don't have to do anything icky like admit that I'm human, do I?

This is the best kind of problem to have as a phone sex operator -- people wanting more of me than I have to give at the moment. I totally understand that I am very fortunate to have such a concern.

I also understand that a day / week / month from now, with no explanation or warning, I'm likely to be feeling full of energy, staring at my phone, wondering why it's not ringing, and thinking I was crazy to ever think of imposing time limits on long calls.

In conclusion: if I tell you that I can't talk for more than 90 minutes, or 60 minutes, I promise promise promise that it is not at all personal. And I will trust you to ensure that you get what you want from me in that time.


  1. I truly understand your reluctance... super long calls are manna from phone sex heaven! I always feel like that little kid trying to dig to China. But in a grown up, sexy way. Ahem.

    Yeah, it is upsetting to realize you're not a super heroine, what with your not-so-secret identity and amazing powers of crumpet-like cuteness, but you have to take care of yourself, girly. You're just that cheeky chick getting sore mid-threesome...still up for fun after a swig of rum and a nap. The guys will understand, especially if they like you enough to stay on three hours straight in the first place.

    Maybe you could send them a little something for while they wait (picture, personalized recording, a little video) as both a reward for staying on over an hour & a placeholder of sorts.

  2. Great ideas, Salacia!! Thank you!! And thank you, too for the encouragement :)

  3. You aren't setting limits, you're maximizing your overall effectiveness for each call. Always consider work as a function of the TErMS offered.

    T = Time Required
    E = Energy Required
    M = Money Offered
    S = Effect on Sanity

    It's natural for the brain to think in terms of "limits" when you have a "medical condition". Just remember that being alive is technically a "medical condition."

    All of us have limits. It is what we achieve within our limits, how we choose to define our limits, and when we choose to ignore our limits that reveal us for who we are.

    And for my money you are a fine and magnificent lady. (Also speaking as someone who knows, gifts are ALWAYS deeply appreciated.)

    As Always Your Humble Servant

  4. Thank you, SAFL - good advice indeed. The T & M always feel reasonable to me, but it's the Er and S that fluctuate on my end, which I imagine might be frustrating for my clients.

    I need to stop imagining my clients as frustrated with me, and instead imagine them as grateful for the communication and honesty, and as looking forward to the next time our schedules line up, like I am :)

  5. If it helps -- as a client I've never been frustrated with you, and can't imagine I'll ever be. And if I ever do become frustrated with you, I'll just remind myself how sexy you are, and that you share yourself with me. I'm sure that will make me smile :)


  6. SAFL, dearest, thank you -- I'll try never to frustrate you :)