DADT = Don't Ask, Don't Tell. The military is phasing one out, but today's blog post will be about the phone sex version. Or at least Galiana's phone sex version.
I don't want to know if you regret calling me the moment after you climax. I won't ask, and please don't tell me.
I like to pretend that all my callers have personal freedom to make sexual choices, and a personal entertainment budget, and when you can afford to call, and when "talking with Galiana" is at the top of the list of what sounds entertaining, you choose to spend your hard-earned money on a call with me, talking about whatever feels most entertaining to you, with no guilt involved.
Let me be clear and specific: I love talking honestly and openly about your life situation, and if money problems come up in those conversations, that's fine. And if you're in a situation with your significant other where you're not telling her about your phone sex habits, that's fine too. I don't mind you saying things like "I haven't called because money's been tight." Sharing intimate life details is fantastic. Sharing your remorse at talking with me is not.
So, if, the moment after you have an orgasm, especially an orgasm that I poured a good deal of time and energy and heart and soul into helping you achieve... if, in that moment, you are filled with sorrow for having called me, it does not help you in the long run to share that information with me.
For one thing, it makes me a little gun-shy about your next call, as if I should be asking you, "Are you sure you can afford to be talking with me?" or "Are you sure you won't feel guilty?" And let's be honest, it's highly unlikely that "someone nagging me about how I choose to spend my money and time" is high on your list of kinks. I mean, if it is, great, your kink is okay, and I can work with it, but I don't think that's what most of you want.
And what response should I have? "I'm sorry you chose to do something you would regret later" seems patronizing. "I'm sorry you chose to involve me in something that feels you with remorse" seems selfish. "I'm sorry your brain empties when your balls fill up" is just mean (although it's a little funny). "Have you considered addiction counseling?" is invasive. "Please don't tell me that again" is unsympathetic and awkward, and only adds to the problem. "I'm sorry you feel that way" is about the closest I can come to being both polite and respectful, but it seems dismissive and unhelpful.
Lastly, you chose to call me, and I did my best to give you great service, and then you're ending the call with dissatisfaction ... about an issue which is clearly not my fault, and clearly out of my control to change. What do you get from telling me you wish you hadn't called? Should I feel bad about all the good work and good energy I just shared with you? Should I not try so hard to make you feel good? Should I try to talk you out of calling me? I don't see the benefit for you, and there is certainly no benefit for me.
I vote that you take responsibility for your decisions, even the ones you make when you're in too-overloaded-by-lust-to-think-straight mode. I get it that the sex hormones which flood your brain are real, and that you do physiologically change the moment after you climax. I'm not trying to minimize that. I've been there, and said and done things I regret later plenty of times. I'm not asking you not to feel it, I'm just asking you not to share it with me right at that moment.
... unless you're "The Wanker", or someone else who, like him, is turned on by your own guilt or remorse. The Wanker finds it deeply erotic to talk about post-climax guilt as part of the overall humiliation of being a wanker. But he has a humiliation fetish, so it makes perfect sense, and he talks about it before he climaxes, not after. Everyone without a humiliation fetish, please see the preceding paragraphs.
This concludes my public service announcement of the day. May you enjoy all the sex you have and regret nothing!
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