Heartland Kink

This is a story of how to get involved in your local BDSM / kink community, as well as a little smut about my life.

The short version: my husband got to consensually smack an adorable masochistic college student in her early 20s, and I got to grab her boobs, and it was awesome. The rest of this blog post is the long version.

When we moved here in October, we knew the fastest way to find open-minded friends would probably be to involve ourselves with the kink / BDSM community. FetLife seemed a good place to start: a high concentration of people who won't disapprove of my phone sex career, and FetLife is excellent at discovering community events.

We went to a "munch" first, the name of a group event held in a public place for the purpose of socializing, but also to screen newcomers. You don't want newbies' first contact to be at a play party. You want them somewhere else first to give a less-charged place to ask questions, and to screen them. To pass that screening, most groups only require that you seem non-pathological and non-tar-babyish (a tar baby is someone who won't let you go once you touch them).

Here's how you seem non-pathological: Smile when you meet new people. Don't touch anybody until they touch you / offer to be touched (offering a hand for a shake, offering a hug, etc). Don't assume you have any rights - ask respectfully about everything, even if you're a Dom (especially if you're a Dom). Ask engaging questions about the interests of others (which types of play do you enjoy? which types of events do you enjoy? how long have you been in the community?). Ask questions about the community (how often do you meet? are there play parties? are there educational events?).

Here's how you avoid seeming like a tar-baby: Approach every event with the attitude that you'll find a play partner at the *next* event, but not at this one, to take the pressure off yourself - today, you are only building your reputation as an awesome person. If someone has spent more than 10 minutes with you, thank them for their time and attention, tell them you'd love to take up their whole evening, but ask if they need to mingle instead, thereby graciously releasing them if they wish to move on, and if they say no and stay with you, smile and thank them casually. If you compliment someone, don't follow it up with an awkward pause that communicates "see? I'm nice, now don't you want to fuck me?" and instead move on to the next topic as if you didn't just compliment them.

Other anti-tar-baby tips: Don't ask anyone to fuck you, or if you must and they say no, DO NOT ask again because that shit will get your ass thrown out. Don't ask anyone to play with you, or if you must as they say no, DO NOT ask again... You see the pattern here, right? It's best to wait until at least your third event before you ask to play (but accepting another's offer can happen any time) to avoid being seen as needy.

Never assume you have the same privileges as someone else. Story time to explain this point:

At our first introductory munch, the woman sitting next to my husband was playfully choked by two attendees. My husband DID NOT have permission to choke her, for two reasons: (1) he had never asked to choke her and (2) she had never offered to let him choke her. This is not complicated.

Along those same lines, because it was our first munch, and the first time my husband had met that woman, it would have been awkward for him to ask to choke her. Wait till he meets her for the third time.

Instead, my husband watched her being choked, and after the first choker left, he complimented her on how beautiful her expressions were when it was happening (compliments are good as long as you don't fall silent and stare expectantly after them), and before she had the chance to be awkward about accepting a compliment, he asked her how she found out she liked being choked. She got to tell a sexy story, he enjoyed hearing her sexy story, then they naturally wandered off into other topics with other people, with no awkwardness. She friended him on FetLife after the event. Who knows if they'll ever play together? But at least she isn't creeped out by him.

Anyway, the woman sitting next to me was AWESOME about explaining the structure of the community, who organized events, and what happened in the area. She was a natural greeter, an information fountain, very sweet. We friended each other on FetLife. The important thing is that we did not creep her out, which we did by being friendly and relaxed and grateful for her information.

Four days later, she posted on FetLife that she and her boyfriend/Dom had broken up (we had met him too). We asked her to dinner to take her mind off things, and to say thanks for the kick-ass introduction to the community she had given us, and she accepted. After dinner, she came back to our house and hung out with my husband while I worked upstairs. I heard a lot of giggling. They didn't play. My husband had all kinds of amusing stories to tell me later of how he cheered her up and learned a bit more about the locals. We engaged her and her friends on her FetLife posts in supportive, amusing ways.

So now we had a munch and a private dinner, and nobody has played, and we hadn't asked anybody to play. We were just nice. Neighborly. Kind. Supportive. That's it.

Yay bewbs

Last week, that same young woman let us know about a local party: bring a dish to share, and a kinky toy to trade, white-elephant style, worth $5 or less. My husband whipped out his maker skills converting a dowel rod and an unused wooden spatula into fierce-looking converted pervertables, and we brought dip and chips.

Since I had not been able to show my boobs the previous weekend at hub's holiday party, I busted em out for this one (picture taken before we left, when my lipstick still looked good).

We found ourselves at a cozy party of 10 where we were the only ones in our 40s, and only one guy in his 30s, and the rest were young whippersnappers. We mostly succeeded in the unnatural effort of "not dropping 80s references".

The hostess had obviously played before with one of the guests, since he kept picking up things and hitting her with them... hard. It made her giggle. Another guest brought her floggers and crop to show off. Several of the other kinky gifts were also things to beat people with. People started asking to try out toys, getting smacked and smacking for a few moments at a time.

Here's the important thing: everyone asked first, before trying a toy, and before hitting someone else. Everyone started out soft. Nobody hit harder until they were told they could. Everyone stopped when the person getting hit said "That's good, thanks!" I got to feel the spatula, the dowel rod, the crop, and one of the floggers. I got to use all of the above on others. Fun!

I wore the hat the whole party

Then the hostess was against a wall having a flogger tried out on her, and it went on for more than a few moments, and it got intense. She mentioned she was feeling warm, and we kindly offered she could remove her top, assuming she would not. She did. So we shut all the blinds, and enjoyed a topless woman with amazing boobs getting flogged. Oh yes, we enjoyed it a lot.

After they took a break, the hostess, clearly happy with the flogging, invited anyone at the party to hit her with anything. She was standing close to me at the time, still topless, and I said, "What about grabbing your awesome boobs?" and she said, "You can do that!" so I totally did. They were awesome.

About half an hour later, my husband wanted to see how the crop handled, so he asked the hostess if he could smack her with it. Note: she had already given permission to everyone to hit her, and yet, he still asked. She enthusiastically agreed, and after a few good swats, it was obvious that she really really really liked the crop a lot (she'd never had one), and he was really really really enjoying hitting her with it, and the room got quiet and watched, which obviously turned both of them on even more.

Twenty minutes later, when she was starting to bruise... badly... he slowed down, thanked her profusely, told her that he was so honored to have beaten her, and stayed with her until she hugged him and insisted she didn't need aftercare (he wasn't calling it that, but he was behaving in an aftercare-ish kind of a way), at which point he quietly faded to a different conversation.

Silly hat and awesome boobs,
as we were leaving,
with vertigo goofiness kicking in

We wrote her after the party and thanked her again for hosting, for being willing to be groped, for being willing to be beaten, and for welcoming us into the community.

So now we have new friends on FetLife (everyone from the party accepted our invites), we're signed up for another munch and another party in January, and we have a start on a fun sense of community.

The key to success? We weren't assuming we would play. We weren't pushing for play. We approached opportunities to play cautiously, with a lot of mutual respect and double-checking (my husband checked in with the hostess he was beating constantly because they didn't negotiate ahead of time). We approached the entire community and each interaction as if we were cultural anthropologists entering the temple of a religion we didn't know very well, but needed to learn more about. Respect everyone, ask permission for everything, assume nothing, and accept offers graciously.

And maybe you'll get to grab a coed's boobs. Squeeeee!

My First YouTube Video: First Thoughts on Control

I just posted my first YouTube video!

The title is "First Thoughts on Control - Recognizing Abuse and Encouraging Negotiation" and it's aimed at people interested in control play in the bedroom. I do not think I have necessarily original thoughts on BDSM subjects, but I believe that every voice helps when it comes to encouraging safety and sanity, even in the context of for-pay BDSM over the phone.

I have more a generic intro "Hello World" video that I should post first, but upon re-watching it, I need to add one significant thought to it before I post it, and I've already stalled on posting these long enough (I recorded it 10 days ago). So I pulled on my big girl panties and pretended like it's okay to do things out of sequence.

(That screaming you hear? Several of my more particular Inner Voices throwing fits about posting things out of sequence...)

If it gets yanked from YouTube for being adult content, that's fine, I'll upload it elsewhere and re-do the link here, but for now, this embedded player should work (fingers crossed...):



If the embedded player doesn't work, here's the link instead: First Thoughts on Control - Recognizing Abuse and Encouraging Negotiation

Although the video does not reflect me in phone-sex / sexy-time mode, it does reflect me being all reflective and thoughtful, so for those of you who get turned on smart thoughts from smart people, you're welcome!

(many thanks to Domme Kyaa for posting her Philosophy of a Fem Domme series, which was the original inspiration for me to do these - I can't find the original links anymore, but the one linked is representative of her work)

In Celebration of the Male Submissive

from malesubmissionart.com

I have been reading a conversation on the web about male submissives, which almost led to a blog post title of "Heartbreak and the Male Submissive" but I decided, instead, to celebrate, in addition to empathizing.

It started with @maymaym (the guy behind the visual-celebration-of-male-submission site: http://malesubmissionart.com/) posting a link to this incredibly well-written piece discussing how often members of the BDSM scene devalue male submissives, even while valuing female dominants: http://www.labcoatlingerie.com/2011/08/09/the-cost-of-devaluing-male-submission-one-token/ This particular conversation goes back further on the internet, but that's where I joined it.

Then tonight, maymay posted a related link, from KinkInExile, who had responded to Professor Chaos, with something equally well-written, about being a geek female dominant who breaks stereotypes and has a hard time finding a male submissive partner, here: http://kinkinexile.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/what-she-said/

Since I just linked to other posts which may cause track backs here, I need to give a bit of context for who I am, why I am joining this conversation, and why I feel qualified to empathize with and celebrate male submission.

For most of my 30s, I was a polyamorous submissive, and marginally active in the BDSM scene in Austin. Professionally, I was a data analyst who became an IT Manager. So I am a geek, I love geeks, I love managing geeks, and I have fucked many an awesome geek. Also, I'm a leader outside of the bedroom.

Then I came down with a rare neurological vertigo which debilitated me from doing IT work, and I became a phone sex operator to pay the bills. I swear this is relevant, please hang with me for a few more paragraphs.

I started professional phone sex, naturally enough, with a listing as a submissive woman, but kept getting calls from clever submissive men who had discovered via trial-and-error that convincing a submissive woman to top you can sometimes turn out pretty well, because they tend to be empathetic.

As with any supply and demand situation, when the demand (for female domination) outstrips the free supply (and it does), a for-pay market is created. I was stunned to discover how many male submissives felt unable to get their needs met in the flesh for free, despite the best efforts of many of them to join kink groups and form healthy femdom/malesub relationships.

And many of the for-pay options in the web cam and phone sex world involve women who project a message of "I rule, you suck" which (a) perpetuates anti-male-submissive bias and (b) is a giant turnoff for many smart male submissives.

I was heartbroken. I am heartbroken. It pisses me off and makes me sad.

As a natural leader who found tremendous release in sexual submission myself, I have deep empathy for those who seek the delicious miles-away-from-the-rest-of-my-life of subspace. I get why it's awesome fun to float along on the waves of someone else's decisions. Plus, as a sensation slut and a pain slut, I understand those tendencies when they pop up for men, too.

So I put on my learning cap, discovered the phrase "service top" (a dominant whose pleasure comes primarily from enjoying their partner's pleasure), and set out to be the best dominant female I could be.

Guess who now has a full-fledged fetish for hearing men beg? Me.

Guess who has had so many delicious orgasms while dominating men over the phone that now the image of a man's hands with rope around them gets me instantly thumpy? Me, me, me, me, me. Seriously. Yum. I can't help it. I accidentally conditioned myself to be a switch.

And guess who is now considering collaring a service submissive? Me.

(By the way, never break the news to someone that you are considering collaring them in a public blog post. I mean, I never would. Pffff. That's ridiculous. That would leave him to sweat for hours wondering if it was really him I was talking about, even though he would know it was, and let his emotions build up to a fever pitch before he gets to talk to me, and who would want that, right?)

To be fair, I had switchy tendencies back in my slut days, too - I had spanked and flogged men, I had fucked several guys with strap-ons (not necessarily submissive, but often so), I had been the de facto leader in threesomes, and I had taken control of many an erotic activity without asking permission to do so.

Also, I'm pretty damn good at topping from the bottom if I do say so myself. Was that a scene negotiation, or a carefully laid path of stuff I'm dying for you to do to me? Both.

The anonymity of paid phone sex can facilitate confessions on a deeply intimate level. I have heard the struggles of many who swim against the cultural currents of male machismo and the expectations for male domination, and I have felt empathy in my gut, as strongly as I have felt empathy with women who have been molested or raped. I get it. I care.

I know male submissives who have been abused by selfish, untrustworthy, unsafe women masquerading as Dominas. And I know male submissives who have been enraptured by safe, sane, consensual play, and longstanding loving relationships. The play itself isn't the problem - the problem is when abusive people hide behind a facade of play to perpetrate abuse.

I know male submissives who have been devalued or rejected by BDSM communities. And I know male submissives who have been honored, valued, respected members of BDSM communities. The scene itself isn't the problem - the problem is when insensitive or abusive people hide behind a facade of majority orientation to be insensitive or abusive.

Every voice that speaks out in celebration of male submissives helps the conversation. Tonight, the urge to join the conversation overwhelmed me. I had to join.

I know I'm suspect because I do this for pay. And I get why that makes me suspect. I know I can't lead this conversation because I'm commercial.

But I also know that KinkInExile asks, "Where are the [dominant women] that _like_ sex, and respect their partners?" and I wanted to answer her: I see them. They're out there. I see them growing up, branching out. I see KinkInExile, and I see Professor Chaos, and I see subcommunities on reddit having intelligent conversations about guys who want to bend over for their girlfriends, or be tied up, or experiment with control, or experiment with pain.

I see the women in polyamorous relationships who switch in their primary partners, who then offer caring responsible professional domination services to a few close friends as a part-time day job while the kids are at school. Seriously, I took a workshop from two women in Austin who fit that description.

And I personally know five women who considered themselves sexually submissive before becoming web cam / phone sex operators, who got talked into topping and figured out we fucking *love* it. That's offline, off the phones, talking amongst ourselves, behind the curtain, women who care about our callers, admitting to each other how much we enjoy controlling men sexually. No, we don't necessarily love every kink that comes our way, but we have found some form(s) of control play irresistibly sexy.

I believe we are in an age of unprecendented plurality, where ideas are ever-easier to access. The way to help more women get in touch with their inner loving dominant is for dominant women to continue to talk about their pleasure, in whatever forums you have, with honesty and openness, as best as you can.

Ideas spread. They may spread slowly, but imagine how much greater the chances are now of forming a healthy femdom/malesub relationship than even just 20 years ago. I remember 1991 - I was 21 - and how little information I had available to me. My mind boggles.

KinkInExile also asks, "And yet what does it mean for me in this world that the person I want to play with most, that beautiful strong geeky smart sexually submissive man, comes wounded because the world got to him before I had a chance?"

And I reply, "Thank goodness you're there for him, to help him find healing, when you find him (or them)." Oh, and also, there are metric fuck-tons of them out there, I promise. Have you been to reddit?

In the meantime, the way to help more men accept their submissive tendencies, and for more communities to value male submission more highly, is for submissive men to continue to talk about their pleasure, in whatever forums you have, with honesty and openness, as best as you can.

I'm so so so so so sorry that it's so so so so so fucking hard for you. I really am.

So that's the heartbreak.

Here is the celebration:

I love the way a man's breath catches when my voice slows a bit, and I tell him to put his hands behind his back.

I love male groans of pleasure mixed with pain.

I love looking into a man's eyes and seeing absolute trust that although I may hurt him, I will not harm him; although I may cause him pain, I will not cause him damage, and I would rather cut off my own hand than betray such a trust.

I love feeling the rush of power when a man is begging to be allowed to have an orgasm, and the exquisite suffering when I tell him, "no, darling, not yet."

I love seeing a man deep-throat a dildo, and then glow with pride when I tell him that was well done.

I love hearing the guttural sounds a man makes when he is fucking himself in the ass because I told him to.

I love, love, love, love, love, more than I can express, the sound of relief and gratitude in a man's voice when we have experienced pleasure together at my direction.

And I love, love, love, love, love, more than I can express, how badass it makes me feel to dominate a man to the point where I get to hear that relief and gratitude. Those of you who have let me feel that way, thank you.

Hypno Revolution

I first opened erotic hypnotism listings last fall, but let them lie dormant for a while, because I didn't think they reflected me very accurately. Frankly, they were too bitchy.

So I rewrote them and started turning them on a couple of weeks ago now. If you're interested, check out the new look here: http://www.niteflirt.com/hypno+galiana

Since re-opening, I've had a few awesome successes.

The most dramatic has been with a caller who called me a good deal last fall, but seemed a bit frustrated, as if he wanted me to take him further in some direction that neither of us could exactly put our finger on. Somehow, the combination of the last six months of experience, my relaxing horse tranquilizers, and my reading further on NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) techniques managed to hit the spot. Before, he kept encouraging me to be "more dominating" and this time around, he's encouraging me to "do exactly whatever it was you did last time." Yay!

I've had a few role play calls, not looking for real hypnosis, which used to confuse me, so I would attempt full-length inductions and they would hang up on me. Now I recognize the signs more clearly, so I'm able to jump in and do a fake-mini-induction and then fulfill requests like "can you find out what the trigger word is that my girlfriend is using to get me to want to suck cock so I can stop it?" Suuuuuure. Oh look, if I say that trigger word, you talk about how much you love sucking cock, and the more I say it, the more you want it. What a shock!

The success that sexually frustrated me the most was the gentleman with the steady, smooth voice, who told me he just wanted to be tranced, and given mind-fuck post-hypnotic triggers, but didn't feel the need to have an orgasm. After 30 minutes of brainwashing and planting parlor-trick mild amnesia triggers, I brought him out and checked. Not only did the triggers work, but he was delighted. And wanted to serve me. In fact, wanted to do anything I wanted him to do, if only I would put him under again...

Ohhhh reeeeeally. Like, for example, what if I wanted to bring you to the edge of orgasm multiple times but not let you climax? Astonishingly, he agreed, and his groaning and pleading cemented the fact that yes, I have, indeed, developed a begging fetish. Holy. Crap.

I was a good hypnotist, though, you should be proud of me. When we approached the amount of time originally agreed upon, before I brought him out that last time, I suggested that he would feel fully satisfied, and he did. But me? Satisfied? No way - I needed a big fat vibrator and fresh batteries. Fuck.

Then tonight, someone called me for only the second time (the first was an introduction conversation), after having bought my hypnosis mp3 (this one here) and listened to it a few times. It is simple simple simple, with triggers for pleasure, and sure, a bit of suggestion that the sound of my voice is awesome, but nothing I'd call heavy duty hypnotic programming.

The sound of a man whimpering is just. so. luscious. Thankfully, he wanted a mix of hypnosis plus phone sex, so I got to get off with him. I might have let my NLP out to play a bit during the teasing portion of the conversation, and maybe he said afterward that he had not been aware that he had been begging to taste me, for me to fuck him, to be allowed to come. But oh, dear, sweet, delicious goodness, he had.

So how is this a "hypno revolution"? Or have I forgotten my blog title?

Don't be silly, I haven't forgotten. The revolution is this: I feel more integrated as a hypnotist now. I see hypnosis as a tool to be used in a much broader variety of settings. I see hypnotic techniques sneaking into my topping sessions. I see domination feeling comfortable in my hypnosis. It's like peanut butter and chocolate, but in a thousand flavors instead of just one.

Okay, ummm, that last sentence? Mmmmmaybe I need a snack after the powerful, rippling orgasm I enjoyed with that last caller, the man who whimpered...

Chastity, Tease, and Ballbusting mp3

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Domination Landing Page

I am pretty darn pleased with myself for completing a new page: Domination by Galiana: An Introduction. This will be my landing / "where to start" page for advertisements and top list banner sites emphasizing my dominant side.

It's still a bit wordy, of course, but then, so am I. I'm sure I'll revise it a cajillion times.

I think it gives enough of an overview of my toppy ways, with some switchy balance, to be enough preparation for someone to call.

Of course, it's still linked to my full site, so someone could also land, get lost in my blog, jack off, and go to sleep. It's a known problem when you have a big blog full of dirty stories for free. I'm okay with that risk.

(PSO for PSOs - Public Service Announcement for other Phone Sex Operators: If you are NiteFlirt-compliant, please make sure you are only linking to galianachance.com/blog and that you only follow my NF-compliant Twitter account twitter.com/GalianaNF)

Grand Slam Call

I was going to call it a "Home Run Call" because I identified at least four fetishes, but then I realized how many fetishes I was grouping together into a cuckolding fetish: cuckolding super-fetish = being cuckolded + big black cock + small penis humiliation + forced bisexuality + cream pie.

So then I asked myself: what number would make a Grand Slam Call? Sure, it puts four runs on the board, but there are 10 bases covered in a grand slam by the time all four runners make it home, right (4+3+2+1)?

So I set out to try to limit the fetishes on this call to only 10, if I separated them out properly. Turns out, it was easy.

We're married, and:

1. I have taken a lover "against his will" (cuckolding),
2. because he has a small dick (small penis humiliation),
3. and my lover is a well-hung African-American (big black cock, a.k.a. BBC),
4. and I "force" him to help get my lover hard by sucking him ("forced" bisexuality),
5. and to clean up after my lover comes inside me by licking his cum out of me (cream pie),
6. although not all of the cum was lapped up, because I get knocked up (impregnation),
7. so for nine months, I let him worship my growing tummy (pregnancy),
8. and my growing ass (ass worship),
9. and suck on my breasts as they got ready (lactation),
10. but I never once let him fuck me (tease and denial).

It's going, going, GONE! And that, ladies, and gentlemen, is a bona fide Grand Slam Call! History in the making!

It seems like it would have seemed like a crowded, rushed, scattered call, right? And yet, no, instead, it was kind of... ummm... wow, do I sound too insane if I say it was mostly just sweet?

Switches Get It...

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Ms Galiana Reborn

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Video: Paralegal Humiliation and Blackmail

You've been a bad boy, haven't you? First, you took credit for my work on the case, then you lied to me about your marital status, and last, but certainly not least, you are working with a seriously under-equipped little partner there in your pants, aren't you?

Tell you what, you just sit back and enjoy this video conference call where I do a strip tease for you on company time, and I'll make sure and save it with no audio so HR and the senior partners can get a good long look at it, if you don't give me what I'm demanding...

I was in quite a mood when I shot this video, thinking of a caller who is a lawyer (and I used to do litigation support, so the jargon is actually legit), who will likely be both horrified and fascinated by it. The humiliation includes legal incompetence as well as small penis humiliation. I think I had some leftover hostility from my old job!

I know there are more images in the gif than usually available for most clips that only run 6:22, but I had a ton of fun shooting it, and couldn't choose only a few looks.

I think I look kind of adorable in this one, if I do say so myself, but what I'm saying definitely shows that I'm not someone you want on your bad side!

It's available for $7 via NiteFlirt:

Tease and Long-Term Denial

I have a caller who has gotten me interested in a concept with many facets and many names: one piece is male chastity / male orgasm denial / tease and denial; a second piece is sack tapping / ball torture; a third piece is small penis humiliation.

Whew. It's a lot to take in.

Thankfully, he's a patient teacher. In fact, our conversations would frequently seem theoretical to an outsider: we would seem like two people rationally and calmly discussing the merits of a man not having an orgasm for days on end... weeks on end... months on end... maybe never. And how testicles feel when stretched or pulled or flicked or punched when they are full. And how some women feel that men with less than 7" of cock don't deserve to have full-release orgasms because they are physiologically unequipped to deliver the most satisfying kinds of orgasms to their women.

(Note: that's fantasy talk about a small penis: I've had ridiculous orgasms on tongues and fingers, and many women are incapable of having orgasms merely from penetration, no matter what the size. The reality is: if you want to make me come until I'm a quivering mess begging to be allowed to go to sleep, you can, even if your cock is tiny, doesn't get hard, or is missing altogether. I know there really are size queens who truly disagree, but I ain't one of them.)

Underneath that calm conversation, however, we both know that we are both deliciously turned on by the reality: he will get himself too aroused to hide it anymore, and then he will start begging to be allowed to release. And there, in that moment, for him, according to the rules of the game we play, the answer will always be no.

I owe a huge debt of thanks for the practically educational Male Chastity Blog, by Sarah, a married woman who calls the blog "Adventures of a liberated woman and her male chastity husband". Her well-written, well-reasoned blog posts, newsletters, and her book are all well worth your time if you're interested in a realistic, yet passionate, view into the lifestyle of male orgasm denial.

As Sarah recommended, we discussed the ground rules of our game first, and refined them along the way. The way we currently play is that he has to tell me, calmly and rationally, that he wants to be allowed to have an orgasm within the first 15 minutes of our phone call. Once we are in minute 16 with no agreement that he will climax that night, no matter what happens from them on, I will not allow him to climax.

And if he is allowed to have an orgasm, it will be a ruined orgasm / interrupted orgasm. He doesn't get a fully satisfying, squirting release unless we also negotiate some amount of money to change hands. So far, it's never been allowed. It's been over four months since his last full-release orgasm.

That's the dry version of our rules. The reality is blazingly more sexy once it gets going. Once he starts being irrational and I know he's getting turned on, I let myself start getting turned on... I'll even start masturbating a bit. I can hear his voice catch, his ability to find words fly out the window, and his frustration start to rise. When he starts calling me an evil bitch, I know he's dying to come.

I used to be such a sweet, nice, accommodating girl... who would have thought that after less than a year of phone sex, the thing that would tip me over the edge into a delicious, rippling orgasm would be hearing the ragged voice of a normally excruciatingly rational man begging, "Please, let me come," and my own answer, laughing at him, of, "You'll never come again." I would not have suspected how aroused that would make me.

After I climax, when he's still out of his mind with raging hormones, I tell him how good it feels to have that release, how satisfied I feel, how delicious it was. He usually tells me to go fuck myself, clarified with "I don't mean that as a negative"...

But he doesn't come. And he keeps calling back for more.

That's what lets me know that Sarah is right: he wants release, but he craves denial. Why? I dunno. I really don't get it at all. I don't understand what he gets from it. But I know it's working for both of us.

At this point, it's been 14 weeks and 2 days since he had his last ruined orgasm, and we don't have a date in mind for his next one. I feel a bit like a vampire, feeding off his sexual energy, fueling his flames, to get his heart pumping, so I can taste him, just a bit richer each time. Mmmmm. Deeeeeelicious.

Question of the Day

Since my two other usernames have been dormant for so long while I'm (ostensibly) rewriting them, I am considering renaming them as well as reworking them.

The one that was known as "Mistress Galiana" (which I'm about halfway done rewriting) will be changing to "Ms Galiana". I considered and rejected "Lady Galiana" "Queen Galiana" "Domme Galiana" "Vixen Galiana" "Minx Galiana" "Goddess Galiana" "Galiana In Charge" "Galiana Leads" and plain old "Galiana Chance". My reasons for rejection were many, but it basically boils down to "I think too much about details like this, but fer fuxx sake just pick one already".

I was planning on leaving my hypnosis-focused username as is: "Hypno Galiana" but a long-time caller suggested the possibility of "Galiana Trance".

I can't decide if it's wonderful, or too clever for my own good (or, y'know, both).

Your opinion is eagerly requested.

A Thousand Times Yes

He'd been away for a while. He asked if I missed him; of course I had. After all, every blog entry is always secretly about him in some subtle way, isn't it? It is, and always will be, according to him.

"We're in such different places tonight," he said. I was all bubbly and bouncy and happy to hear from him again. He was, in his words, darker.

"It doesn't matter what you want to take out on me... how are you going to take it out on me?" I asked. He described himself beating me into sub space, leaving every inch of my skin tingling and alive to the touch, but his heart wasn't in it, I could tell.

"Or I could curl up inside your mature, worldly-wise, seductive imagination..."

"... and lose yourself?"

"...mmhmm..."

Well then.

Sometimes, taking a man's balls in my hand and his cock in my mouth feels like raw, unadulterated power. Sometimes, I can feel his vulnerability, know his desire, taste his need. In those moments, I know that when he empties himself into me, it will release more than fluids.

"Yes," he said, after he gave me every last drop of whatever burden it was that he needed to unload, "yes... yes... and a thousand times yes..."

I hope you slept well. I know I will.

Request for Listing Input

I used to think that I did things in weird ways until I worked with dozens of programmers. Then I learned that most people do things in their own unique fashion, and that if you give them room to do things their way, often it will be most efficient for them.

When I have a big, complicated project looming -- like, for example, rewriting all my listings -- I need to ponder it a while before I actually start making changes.

I am currently in my mulling phase, which means I'm pleasantly distracting myself by importing my transaction detail into an Access database , and automating the process to parse customer name and transaction type.

Inner Data Analyst: It's about frikkin' time! The Excel process was killing me. Literally killing me dead, every frikkin' day. DEAD, I tell you! ...

Inner Data Analyst takes a while to calm down once she gets on a rant, so we'll let her unwind while we continue.

I have a request of you, Dear Reader, which is: Please let me know what you think I should keep and/or change about my current listing(s).

GENERAL LISTINGS:

For my general listings, I currently have three listings with a mishmash of ideas presented in them:

* http://www.niteflirt.com/listings/show/9463253 - Sex listing

* http://www.niteflirt.com/listings/show/9503597 - Role Play listing

* http://www.niteflirt.com/listings/show/9507267 - Cam listing

I want to stress that I'm smart, fun, playful, sex-positive, versatile / variety fetish, have a theater background, I care about the people who call me, and I consider myself more of a "lover" than a "girlfriend". Some of that is in there now, and some of it isn't.

HYPNO LISTINGS:

For my hypno listings, I currently have one listing template:

* http://www.niteflirt.com/listings/show/9498705

I completely need to change it. Right now it makes me look sad. Or serious. Or boring. Or something. But definitely something that I am not.

I actually want to stress more of the same things I stress in my general listings: I'm smart, fun, playful, sex-positive, etc.

But I also need to emphasize that I really truly enjoy erotic hypnosis. I do. It's sexy as hell.

And that I'm willing to do hypno role plays, but if you're calling my hypno line, I am assuming that you want actual hypnosis.

And that I am a hypnotist, not a mind reader, and there are dozens of choices to be made, and that I need you to tell me what you like and what you want for you to get the most out of it. I'm okay with putting you under and asking you to tell me then, but if you can answer before I trance you, that would be ideal.

MISTRESS GALIANA LISTINGS (changing to Lady Galiana):

For my mistress listings, I currently have one listing template:

* http://www.niteflirt.com/listings/show/9498763

I also need to completely change it. First, I'm changing the name to "Lady Galiana", which I think is a better reflection of my topping style than "Mistress" or "Goddess" or "Princess".

I know, it sounds a bit like "Lady Gaga", but I like her fierceness, open sexuality, and unapologetic support of the LGBTQ community, so I'm okay if a comparison is made, jokingly in passing. I'm comfortable that I am my own person enough to wipe out that image quickly.

Next, the pictures and the language I'm currently using there are too formal and serious for me. When I'm in charge, I'm still smart, fun, playful, etc, and the listing currently doesn't convey that very well.

And I need to emphasize that I really truly enjoy dominating sexually. It's a huge power rush and a turn on for me.

And that I love sex, so I could very well choose to get off while I'm dominating or using you (I don't want my listings to be focused on what I am not, but I think there is a popular conception that mistresses don't allow submissives to make them come because then they lose control. Maybe that's true in some dominant relationships, but I'd rather have orgasms, thank you very much).

I like the stuff that's in there now about being cooperative, but lately, I've been thinking about my flavor of domination in terms of being a "service top" -- I enjoy playing a dominating role for the many of the same reasons I enjoy playing a submissive role: I love knowing my partners is getting exactly what s/he's been craving, and more. Giving control and taking control are both means -- for me, the end is ensuring an intensely delicious experience for both of us.

IN ALL THREE:

For all three of my logins / "characters" / personas, the common theme is: I love hearing my lover all grateful, satisfied, and happy after we're done.

Help me out gang. Give me phrases, themes, ideas for layouts, suggestions for pictures you think would work well, thoughts I'm missing, anything you can think of to help my next round of listings be exponentially more appealing than the current ones.

Thanks!

Topping and Subbing Picture Sets

In keeping with my tagline ("a Phone Sex Operator with a fetish for variety"), when I had my 40th birthday celebration photo shoot, I made sure to get pictures showing my dominant side and my submissive side in each outfit.

Some of these picture sets are now for sale for the first time as of this weekend, and some of them have already had their own dedicated blog post introducing them, but I wanted to put them all together in one blog post... and here it is!

The number before the "px" indicates that all pictures in the set are at least that many pixels tall or wide. That means the pictures for sale are many times larger than the sample preview pictures below, and show much more detail, much more clearly. 

The price is $10 for each set, except "Mistress In Red" where I felt the variety and quantity justified a higher price of $15.

MISTRESS IN RED 39 pictures. 2048 px. $15. (new!)
These 39 hi-res pictures are of me being toppy in my red and black corset, fishnet hose, and black latex ankle boots. The fun includes me growling:

... flipping you off:

... brandishing a flogger:

... and threatening an inadequately small penis-ish attachment on the Sybian with my boot:

This is the most varied set in terms of poses, expressions, and activities. So if you like your Galiana tough, purchase Mistress In Red by clicking here:



SUBMISSIVE IN RED 37 pictures. 2048 px. $10. (new!)
These 37 hi-res pictures are of me in a red corset and fishnet stockings and vinyl ankle platform boots, on a kitchen floor, obeying commands to masturbate:

... and then to kneel:

Pictures include bare pussy and ass in a few shots. So if you like your Galiana turned on at being ordered around, purchase Submissive in Red, by clicking here:



BONDAGE IN RED 37 pictures. 2048 px. $10. (new!)
These 37 hi-res pictures are of me in a posture cuff, wrist cuffs, a ball gag, a corset, and fishnet stockings. My expressions range from frightened:

... to amused:

... and maybe a bratty moment or two:

A friend of mine said of these pictures, "You don't look like a damsel in distress. You look like a superhero about to escape." So if you like your Galiana tied up and gagged, regardless of the outcome of the story, purchase Bondage in Red by clicking here:



FLOGGER IN PURPLE 22 pictures. 2048 px. $10. (new!)
These 22 hi-res pictures are of me, in soft purple babydoll lingerie, wielding a flogger:

... or two:

... and flipping some birds.

The photographer and her aide (my temporarily conscripted husband) loved the "perverted cheerleader" vibe of me happily twirling two floggers. So if you like your Galiana playfully threatening, purchase Flogger in Purple by clicking here:



Stern In Purple 23 pictures. 2048 px. $10. (new!)
These 23 hi-res pictures are of me, in soft purple babydoll lingerie, looking more strict than normal: 

... more stern than normal:

... and maybe even a bit haughty:

Pictures include two shots of my bare ass. So if you like your Galiana judgmental, purchase Stern in Purple by clicking here:



Bondage In Purple 20 pictures. 2048 px. $10. (new!)
These 20 hi-res pictures are of me on my tummy in soft purple lingerie and grey silk heels, blindfolded and hog-tied by scarves, with a leather bit gag. Chesty from the front:

... or showing off my ass (there is a thong there, so technically it's not nudity...):

I designed the bondage pattern, and loved being in the tie - I was enjoying squirming against the restraints so much, I almost didn't want to get out of it. So if you like your Galiana helpless, but well-displayed, purchase Bondage in Purple by clicking here:



Strap-On In Yellow 25 pictures. 1024 px. $10.
These 25 high-res pictures are of me in yellow lingerie wielding my bright blue Feeldoe, both as a weapon:

... and for naughtier uses:

I love using the Feeldoe (on women and men!), and I love the point-of-view feeling to this set, as well as the contrast between the sweet lingerie and the mildly threatening nature of a strap-on. So if you like your Galiana geared up for action, purchase Strap-On In Yellow by clicking here:



Subby In Yellow: 34 pictures. 1024 px. $10.
These 34 high-res pictures are of me being submissive in sweet yellow lingerie: blindfolded, gagged, with clamps on my nipples and labia (including close-ups). I can't show the clamps, but I can show myself gagged with my own panties:

... and my face when the clamps came off (pain and relief):

I love how these came out - I chose the most brightly-colored BDSM implements possible to complement the innocent-looking yellow lingerie, and the result was exactly what I hoped: a candy-colored painslut. Torture never looked so sweet! So if you like your Galiana flooded with adrenaline, purchase  Subby In Yellow by clicking here:


As if this post weren't complicated enough... if you want to read about why I consider topping and subbing flip sides of the same coin, please do so in this blog post.

Or, if you want to read my first published erotica, from 2002, which explores my very earliest feelings about taking control in a BDSM setting (I started as a submissive), read "Enriched" from the Exotica archives at Clean Sheets.

For me, playing with control, pain, and emotional intensity add delicious flavor to a sexual experience. I'm glad I managed to capture a few expressions of my enjoyment to be able to share them with you.

New Picture Set: Stern In Purple

I'm delighted to announce a new set of pictures up for sale: Stern in Purple.  These 23 hi-res pictures are of me, in soft purple babydoll lingerie, looking far more strict and stern than I normally do (pictures include two shots of my bare ass, which I can't preview on the blog).

Taken in September 2010, as part of my 40th birthday celebration shoot, I was experimenting with looks and poses. I look happy and relaxed in the vast majority of pictures taken of me, so these should especially be fun for people who like picturing me when I get stern or haughty or angry.... I kinda look all three.

The pictures in the package are at least 2048 pixels in one direction - approximately five times bigger than what's here on the blog. That's a lot of intimidation.
And on the meta-blog side of things, here's my true confession for the week, which should explain why (hopefully!) you're about to see a rash of new picture packages offered for sale: I really want to start producing new photo sets, and technosexual/fembot videos, and recorded listings, but I can't let myself do that until I've listed all the pictures from my September photo shoot first.

Things I learned: taking fewer pictures per shoot is better, in every way. Less overwhelming, I finish packaging them faster, and I don't get bored looking at the same 4 outfits for six months.



So hopefully, for the next week, there will be a flurry of picture set announcements, so that April can be The Month of New Content. Wish me luck, productivity, and a keen eye for detail...

Galiana 2K!

Go, go Galiana! My "Sex" listing just hit a rating of 2,000 points! Yay! And for those of you keeping track, yesterday was exactly 8 months since I took my first call.

The milestone doesn't mean anything in terms of callers finding me more easily, but it's been fun to watch it climb over the last few days and wonder who was going to push it over the edge.

Turns out, it was a new caller, on for 17 minutes, who wanted a humiliating cuckolding girlfriend role play. I surprised him on his birthday by setting up a threesome, and when he arrived at my apartment, looking forward to having two women blow him, I was tangled up naked in bed with a gentleman with an enormous cock, I had come all over my belly and in my pussy, and I informed my boyfriend that a few things were going to be changing since he wasn't adequately equipped to satisfy me by himself... Happy birthday, darling...

On a related note: my Inner Bitch fucking loves this job.

So, congratulations to me, and to my Inner Bitch, for getting the job done right.

Cartoon Pinup Galiana, Part II

As I explained in the first Cartoon Pinup Galiana blog post, a friend of mine asked a friend of his to do a cartoon pinup of me.

In addition to the spectacular me-alone picture, he also delivered this gem, in two views, for Mistress Galiana:

The uncensored view is here: http://psophotos.net/galianachance/cartoon/galiana02.jpg

The details are spectacular. The chair is rich-looking, the mischief in my eyes and smile are exactly how I feel when I'm topping sensually, my breasts are stunningly pretty, the negligee and stockings are fabulous, my sweet exposed pussy with a touch of a landing strip threatens to flow over onto his chin.

And my feet... rubbing allll over him. A foot fetishist's dream come true. From there, I can stuff my toes into his mouth, or let my soles slide langorously down his chest... Oh. My. What have we here?

You can find the uncensored version here: http://psophotos.net/galianachance/cartoon/galiana03.jpg

Not only are those strong arms restrained, either by ties or the delicious surrender of will, and not only is the chest gorgeous, and strong, but look what fun toy my feet have to play with there! A tied-up package, like a gift, strong and hard and aching just a touch.

I love that the rope is rose-colored, almost the same shade as the head of his cock. Seriously. Perfect.

The tension in that body... I want to do nothing and do everything, make him weep and make him sigh in pleasure, feel his skin and taste the sweat off his chest as he struggles not to come.

Thank you. I love it.

Punishment

Friday nights at 5, or Sunday nights at 7, he confesses his sins to me, a way to clear out the cobwebs from the week, or to hold on to the weekend for all it's worth. The misdeeds are naughty at worst, with no harmful consequences on their own. Masturbating without permission. Lusting over coworkers. Watching porn.

I punish him: redden his ass with my hand. Or a flogger. Or a paddle. Or a crop. Or a cane. It depends on my mood. But regardless of the instrument, the position is the same: he is draped over my knees, naked, with his hungry cock pressed between the lace tops of my stockings. 

After his punishment, sometimes he services me. Or sometimes I take him with my strap-on, pressing against his freshly spanked ass. Or sometimes he takes me, emboldened by adrenaline from his pain. We linger over the sensations, and savor the rising tension. We never rush. And even when I climax, thrashing against him, calling his name, he remains still, and strong. And, in that space, utterly mine.

After he releases, he thanks me, calmly, for punishing him. For letting him serve me. For taking him. For letting him come. My ragged breath betrays my pleasure as I accept his gratitude.

The other day, he sent me pictures: one of his mid-section from the back, and one from the front. That ass I had reddened a dozen times... it was perfect, exactly the way I had pictured it, slender but rounded, and deliciously, invitingly pale. 

The surprise was his cock: the slight downward curve and the smooth, long head looked like a deep throat training tool -- it would be unbelievably luscious to press all the way into my mouth and hold and savor.

I wrote him back, telling him my delighted responses. And then telling him to look into my eyes, deeply, and answer the question, "Do you think it's appropriate to send pictures like this?"

He responded back, quickly, calmly, simply, "No. It's not appropriate. I'm sorry. Will I be punished?"

... what do you think? 

Splitting Personalities: Hypno & Mistress Galiana

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