2 Years, 450 Posts, 1 Blogged Life

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

New Tagline

Satisfying and Satisfied

I asked for advice on a new blog tagline, and I've settled on one.

The old one was: The Blogged Life of Galiana Chance, a phone sex operator with a fetish for variety

The new one is: The Phone Sex Blog of Galiana Chance, a genuine gal and "a very satisfying phone fuck"

Many thanks to SAFL for repeating the word "genuine" often enough for me to finally remember it, and to Gravelly Moon for his very first feedback to me ever, which was, "Witty, sexy, fun, and completely in to my fantasy. She's a great flirt and a very satisfying phone fuck." I had been taking calls for 15 days. His feedback made me high.

The old blog tagline sounded classy, well-written, and maybe even polite.

The new one? It reinforces the phrase "phone sex blog" which is how I want people to be able to find me. But more importantly, it amuses me. Therefore, to the great surprise of nobody familiar with my proclivities, I'm keeping it.

Phone Sex Blog Superlative

A cry for help.
How can you refuse?

I like to think that I have a blog that's interesting to read, and I would love to make it easier for people to find it. I don't even make it to the Google search for "phone sex blog" on any page. Sad.

So I'm thinking of re-doing my tag line, from "Chance It: The Blogged Life of Galiana Chance, phone sex operator with a fetish for variety" to "Chance It: The Most _________ Phone Sex Blog in the World"

But... what to put in that superlative spot? Obviously, any qualitative claim I could put in that blank would be ridiculous, narcissistic, over-the-top, and impossible to quantify. Perfect.

The most honest? The most real? The realest (is that word)? The most varied?

Or should I go for something closer to what I have now, like "The Phone Sex Blog of Galiana Chance, a phone girl with a fetish for variety"? Or should I change my qualitative description to something like "a genius (by some definitions) and a helluva gal"? I need slugs, people. Slug me.

Help me, Obi Wan Blog Reader. You're my only hope.

1K Visitors! (Again. Sort of.)

I just hit 1,000 unique visitors in a month! (Again. Sort of.)

My Inner Data Analyst was so happy to see a lovely round number that she is getting her own blog post today. It's been a while since she got to come out and play.

Here's what made her happy: Google Analytics showed 1,000 unique visitors in a month time span.



Confession time: I checked in the middle of the day - it was serendipitous to hit the exact number when I did, but that wasn't the final number in the day. The final number for that month-span was 1,010, but I was so happy to see the exact 1,000 that I screen-captured it.

Now Data Girl gets to have her nerdy moments in the sun:

AGAIN: Truth is, I hit about 1,100 unique visitors in January when I only had one blog location, before I moved over to self-hosting, and before I dramatically dropped off my blogging volume and talked about a bunch of un-sexy life issues (Feb - Jun).

SORT OF: Since I split the blogs, there is no way to know the *exact* number of unique visitors across sites, because the old blog location is still up and running, and for a while, there were legacy links that led back and forth between them. So one human being could show up as a "unique visitor" for both sites. When I add them up and factor in cross-over, I've probably had 1,200 - ish unique visitors in the past 30 days across sites, but it's impossible to determine a precise number.

STATES: Ooooo I've now had visitors from all 50 states! Yay! For a while there were holdouts in Hawaii and North Dakota. Aloha Hawaii! Welcome aboard North Dakota! I don't know if you know this or not, but the phone sex connection is amazing between where you and Texas.

BOUNCE RATE / NEW VISITS: Back in January, when I was doing zero advertising and only driving traffic from my NiteFlirt listing, I had a bounce rate of about 16% (bounce rate = how many visitors only visit one page, lower is better) and a new visits rate of about 50% (new visits = first-time blog readers). My bounce rate and new visits rate have gone up since I started doing $3 / day of Google advertising (don't go too nuts with the spending there, Chance).

I have had a few lovely new callers from the advertising... probably not quite $100 / month worth yet, but I think it's one of those things that adds up over time. I will continue to play with small amounts of advertising to see how it goes.

OVERALL: So my traffic volume is nowhere near enough to approach a publisher about a book deal just yet (oh noes, my sooper seekrit long-term plan is out!), but it's great to know that I can rebuild if I need to!

Domination Landing Page

I am pretty darn pleased with myself for completing a new page: Domination by Galiana: An Introduction. This will be my landing / "where to start" page for advertisements and top list banner sites emphasizing my dominant side.

It's still a bit wordy, of course, but then, so am I. I'm sure I'll revise it a cajillion times.

I think it gives enough of an overview of my toppy ways, with some switchy balance, to be enough preparation for someone to call.

Of course, it's still linked to my full site, so someone could also land, get lost in my blog, jack off, and go to sleep. It's a known problem when you have a big blog full of dirty stories for free. I'm okay with that risk.

(PSO for PSOs - Public Service Announcement for other Phone Sex Operators: If you are NiteFlirt-compliant, please make sure you are only linking to galianachance.com/blog and that you only follow my NF-compliant Twitter account twitter.com/GalianaNF)

Web Bitch, Anyone?

I want to re-organize my categories and tags, because they annoy me in their current form, but the thought of going back through more than 350 posts is overwhelming me, so I keep putting it off.

Web bitch? Anyone? Bueller?

Stuff to Buy Reorg

I have reorganized my Stuff to Buy page (Stuff to Buy) so now the main page has info about custom pricing, but then splits into three pages to list things for sale: MP3s, Photo Sets, and Videos.

Even though I only have 2 MP3s available at the moment, it still had to be the first page because I needed them to be alphabetical, even though videos sell better for me than photos MP3s. I am slightly annoyed by my own impracticality on that issue...

I'm sure you've noticed the flurry of pay-to-view announcements lately on my blog. The truth is, I had a few things holding me back from producing more content: My "Stuff to Buy" page was a mess and it made me cringe to add things to it, my ordered list of what to do to publish new content was a mess and it made me cringe to follow it, and I had a backlog of stuff I'd already shot that was in various stages of having been produced and it made more sense to me to finish those before I started others.

So I have now finished publishing all the pay-to-views (PTV) that I had started, although I have a few more to announce on the blog (I wanted to intersperse with other types of blog entries as well so the blog isn't solely comprised of pay-to-view announcements). But the hard stuff of editing, listing on NiteFlirt, etc, has been completed.

I swing back and forth: sometimes, I feel like I should just stick with the phones, because it's simpler to get sexy and log in than it is to make content. Then I'll sell some content when I'm away from the phones and feel like I should continue to provide those other revenue streams for myself.

It's all opportunity cost, right? If I spend my energy on my PTV content, I would probably lose my phone sex audience. My phone sex audience likes having stuff to buy, but there aren't enough of them to support making content unless I spend energy promoting my pay-to-view content. It's complicated.

If I were to keep the Fuckatorium in a video-ready state all the time, it would be easier. But I let the dogs play tug-of-war with ropes in there, which fray and leave strings on the carpet. And I have piles of clothes in various levels of put-away-ness (laundry is my nemesis!). And I'm not sure I'm happy with the way the room is arranged for video to start with...

The tortured life of The Girl Who Never Thinks Her Stuff Is Good Enough, right?

Regardless of all my insecure whining, I would appreciate it if you would drop by the rearranged Stuff to Buy pages and tell me if you find them easier to use now. And also, you know, if you want to tell me that seeing all those thumbnails of me drives you complete insane with lust, I'd be up for that, too. Thanks!

Unpredicted Responses

I have an idea what the response(s) will be when I post something on my blog, or when I rework my listings, but I'm almost never right.

I wrote about all my crazy limitations and crazy considerations with my crazy life situation if I were to think of Meeting In Person. I feared people would think I was crazy and be turned off. Instead, I got:

• three people told me how well-organized and well-written it was, complimenting me on my presentation of such a complicated subject
• one caller told me to plan on packing my bags this summer to visit him (I dunno if he was serious, but it was sweet)
• two callers told me that my approach was completely reasonable, and they would love to do that for me some day
• about ten people told me it was cool and reasonable, but they could never afford it (obviously I understand - I couldn't afford it either!)
• a bunch of people empathizing about my complex life situation (thanks!)
• one caller told me that he thought, "Either she's being real and honest and explaining a complicated situation, or this is the most brilliantly devised red herring ever written" which cracked me up - I don't have the energy to sustain those kinds of lies, but thanks for thinking that I'm that clever!
• and then, I have to admit, I had a favorite response: one caller had me use my vibrator on myself hard and fast, and listen to him at the same time, while he told me, "You said in your blog post that my boner would be at risk... Do you have any idea how fucking hard it made me to read the words 'sustained... vigorous... fucking...' and think about being with you?" I will never forget how good that call made me feel. 

Then I wrote about my six-hour phone call, and I expected people to be upset with me that I had cut them off at 60 minutes, and instead, I got:

• a woman who passed the story to her husband, who spent the next day at lunch with buddies discussing male orgasm denial: looking up cock cages on their phones, since none of them would admit to having heard of them before, and heatedly discussing the psychology of it - too funny.
• two requests for "light financial domination" by regulars who have never played with it before, but had been curious - too fun.
• three regulars tell me that they totally understood why I imposed time limits on them, because "I work you hard" as if they were proud of themselves (and they were all correct!) - too cute.

I wrote about my husband getting a job, which I didn't think would cause any response at all, and I got a new caller from a long-time blog reader who has extensive cuckolding fantasies, who had to call me to talk about how I'm going to be running around town, building a stable of daytime lovers while my husband is at work. Good idea...

So there's your meta post for the day, blogging about blogging, instead of actually blogging. Feel free to accuse me of slacking and come up with a suitable punishment!

Blog Moved!

I am thrilled, delighted, relieved, proud, happy, and wiggly enough to do a Snoopy dance to announce:

My new blog is live! Please drop by: http://galianachance.com/blog

If you're subscribed via a feed reader, please switch your subscription to: http://galianachance.com/blog/feed - thanks!

You may correctly infer that http://galianachance.com is also live, but so far, there is no other content on the site other than the blog, and I suspect that will not change: if I continue to add more pages, I'll continue to do so through the WordPress pages engine.

It was quite the learning curve to get here. I've been a techie for 17 years, but I was a data analyst, so I never learned web stuff beyond very basic HTML (shame on me). So I had to learn about hosting, domain registration, and then all the WordPress specifics of themes and widgets and databases and plug-ins. Oh my.

In theory, some day, I'll use the site to launch all kinds of things. But for now, the big advantage is that a self-hosted WordPress blog on a custom domain shows up higher in search engine results than a blogspot blog (which is super peculiar since Google owns blogspot!), so hopefully relevant searches will direct people my way more often.

Plus, I have way more flexibility in look and feel with WordPress, which is nice. Well, nice and overwhelming, because of all the choices. But I'm happy with the theme I picked, and I know I'll continue to tweak the look and feel.

Yay! Go! Galiana!

(oh, great, Inner Cheerleader... now none of us will sleep tonight, because that frikkin' girl has no "Off" button...)

Woooo! Gimme a G!

Data Analyst To The Rescue!

Every once in a while, it comes in handy to have been a data analyst.

Warning, if that last sentence seems boring to you, please stop reading now. This blog post is ridiculously geeky and has no place whatsoever on a phone sex blog.

Last night, I had re-motivated myself to do the SEO (search engine optimization) stuff for my new blog location. The point is for more people to find my blog via search engines. I know others have had fantastic results with driving traffic, and I'm proud of the blog, and sometimes people become callers after reading it, so it's worth it to me to SEO the blog.

I was taking data which existed (blog title, categories, the first 160 letters of the post as a description, etc), and pasting them into the appropriate fields in Word Press to populate the "meta" fields from my theme, and the "SEO" fields from my plug-in, just in case they were used differently.

I realized (1) I had only done about 20 blog entries out of 321 by copying and pasting, and (2) I was ready to gouge out my eyeballs from the boredom and tedium.

Thankfully, at that point, I remembered that WordPress has a MySQL back end, and although I almost never worked with MySQL (I did SQL server shops), and almost never done databases via a web interface, I guessed I could muddle way through it.

Sure enough, I figured out how to back up the database (the critical first step), and then understood the data structure pretty quickly. And may I just say for the record, wp_postmeta is a damn fine, dead sexy table. Seriously. Hooray for smart relational database design which allows infinite flexibility. I think I got a little heart-thumpy when I saw it.

I did the post titles and descriptions easily, although I had to look up INSERT INTO syntax, but hell, I did that when I was working with SQL every day, because I could never be bothered to learn syntax order beyond SELECT... FROM... WHERE... ORDER BY. Lazy? Or efficient? It depends on which productivity studies you read, but I choose to believe the latter.

Then came bugger #1: turn categories into tags. Categories and tags are both stored relationally, and if the same term is both a category and a tag, it's tracked via the incredibly crafty wp_term_taxonomy table, which practically had me swooning with delight.

So first I had to insert taxonomies for all my categories which had no corresponding tag, then link up the tables to figure out the blog post -> category -> tag relationship where none yet existed, and insert those. I was pretty proud of myself for knocking those out. Hoooray for WHERE ... NOT IN, amirite?

Then came bugger #2, which I had to sleep before I could do, because data analysis makes me hellaciously dizzy (not worse than all the damn copying and pasting, though): turning categories into keywords. The categories are stored relationally, but the keywords are stored as a concatenated comma delimited string, so I had to smush them.

And this is where I probably would have fired myself two years ago... I didn't have permission to do a temp table on the server, and didn't want to mess with my database permissions, and my SQL wasn't working right iterating through a dumb CURSOR, so I did the kludge-iest solution ever:

• took the list of blog posts and categories and turned them into a pivot table, so each line had a blog post ID, and all of its category terms across 98 columns
• copied the pivot table into Notepad to get raw text without table/cell delimiters
• copied the raw text  into Word to replace tabs with commas
• stripped out repetitious ", , " strings, which gave me a blog ID and its comma-delimited keyword string
• used that blog ID and the keyword string to craft INSERT statements for each blog entry
• ran the inserts on the server

Such a hack. Such an ugly, ugly hack. I can't decide if I'm horrified or delighted with myself. I hope nobody who ever worked for me ever finds this... although, if they did, they'd probably say "She always did say, if it's a one-time job, just frikkin' get it done. If you have to do it twice, then you're allowed to automate. At least she practices what she preaches."

So now I'm that much closer to announcing the new blog and asking everyone to move locations. I need to clean up the links on the "Where to Start" page, and create the other pages, but the SEO stuff was the hard part, and it's done.

Whew.

Now it's time to stop boring my readers to tears, and return to my sexy!

OKCupid and Why 300 Was Important

OKCupid:
If you are looking for a romantic partner and you haven't yet signed up with OKCupid, you're missing out.  It's a great dating site: free, interesting, and they use their data for good.

I made a profile so that callers can ask me for advice on their profile from a woman's perspective, not because I was in the market for new lovers, but I kept getting interested emails anyway.

So tonight, I logged on to switch my location to Houston, and consider deactivating my profile, and by the time I'd updated my zip code and politely responded to the people who had previously messaged me, I had more messages waiting for me... which led to a fairly ferocious feedback loop of distraction.

And then a funny thing happened: two gentlemen asked for my phone sex information, and said they might call me, and one of them bought my Sybian video! Whoa. You're not supposed to be advertising on OKCupid for paid phone sex... Yikes!! But they asked... so it's confusing. Hopefully I won't get kicked off.

My profile name there, predictably enough, is GalianaChance, if you're interested in my answers.

And now for the least connected segue so far in the history of this blog... 

Why 300 Was Important:
I remembered why it was so important to me when I hit 300 blog posts (this is 302): because on the "Edit Posts" page where you can see all the posts at once in a big list, it only shows up to 300 at a time. So now I can't see ALL my blog titles at once, ever again, unless I compile the list manually. It feels like a major milestone to me.

I'm such a freakin' dork. Honestly.

Chance It for Kindle!

My blog is available on the Kindle!

The way blog subscriptions work on the Kindle is that someone signs up for a 14-day trial, after which, if the subscription is not canceled, the subscriber is charged a monthly subscription fee. The fee is set by Amazon, and I get 30% of what Amazon collects (which I am delighted by - something is better than nothing).

So now, on the right side of the web version of this blog, you can see a little button directing you to learn more about a Kindle subscription. That button takes you here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004LGSC6S where you will see a real live product by Galiana Chance available on Amazon.
This. Is. Awesome.

Even if the subscriptions never take off, I am still irrationally thrilled at (a) being listed as an Author on Amazon, and (b) the possibility that the blog might generate a little cash.

I'm celebrating by turning up "Any Way You Want It" and rocking out for a few moments... pardon me... Okay, back now. Thanks.

Many many many thanks to the darling dearest caller who suggested this (you know who you are /blowkiss). I'm so pleased!

New Feedback Page

I have published a new page with some of my favorite feedback comments:
http://galianachance.blogspot.com/p/feedback.html

So far it has very few comments. I kept getting interrupted last night / early this morning by having awesome calls (nice problem to have!), so I didn't get far. But I wanted to go ahead and publish it so I could knock something off my to-do list, because I have too many to-do items rattling around in my brain again.

My "plan" is to add comments sporadically, whenever I need the insecurity-eliminating boost of confidence I get by sorting through nice things people have said about me. How often do I need that kind of encouragement? Would it be bad to admit: almost every day?

I've added little comments about the feedback. Because I can't help myself. Seriously, I would get so many more packages of pictures published for sale if I didn't want to add little running commentaries. But hey, words are my thing, right?

Anyway, aside from my peccadilloes...

Please let me know if you want a specific feedback of yours included, or if you do not want your feedback ever to show up on that page, or if you want me to attribute to your username on the page (by default I'm only specifying the date and the listing).

This feels like one of those bizarre activities that is intelligent marketing mixed with extraordinary narcissism. Am I doing this for callers? Or for me? Am I trying to encourage callers to leave me articulate and specific feedback because it's good for business, or my ego? Such an odd job.

Dear Kink Academy: Pick Me!

Dear Kink Academy,

I learned about you today, and I am thrilled to have found you. And I want to be one of your Student Bloggers!

I have been personally kinky for nine years, but my participation in the greater kink community tended to ebb and flow with the rhythm of other life commitments, similar to many amateur kinksters, I'm sure.

Then in July 2010, I became a phone sex worker. And BAM! I'm now smack in the middle of the biggest kink-o-rama I could imagine! Although I started with a phone sex listing that was fairly simple (sex-positive, plus open to being submissive for BDSM play), I have gotten requests for:

• cross-dressing
• feminization
• humiliation
• erotic hypnosis
• cuckolding 
• gang bangs
• bondage
• spanking
• cock-and-ball torture (CBT)
• and role plays of a bazillion types, including the most popular: 
• damsel in distress
• naughty neighbor
• robot / android 
• student / professor

... and the list of activities go on and on and on, as evidenced by the 82 blog posts I have so far with the tag "caller".

I am thrilled to have found Kink Academy as a place to get new ideas, learn safety tips, and watch experienced kinksters sharing the things they love.

And, in the spirit of openness and honesty, I will also confess that I would love to eventually contribute as a faculty member for you (if we know each other long enough, if you want me to, if all goes well, if lawd willin' an' the creek don't rise, and any other if-based caveats you wish to add...). I might have a topic or two in me about using phone sex or web cams to spice up a long-distance relationship!

But back to the second-semester job at hand. It will be easy for me to put a Kink Academy eduction to use with my callers in a few ways:

1. When someone requests a new kink I don't know much about, I can (hopefully) fake it without putting them in danger (for example, I would never fake a CBT call without knowing what I was talking about), then go to Kink Academy to learn more, and then offer the caller a new level of understanding. I think most customers would be thrilled to get an email saying "I watched this video about your kink, and I have new ideas for our next call!" 
2. I can take classes for kinks I know I get calls for - three obvious examples I'll be soaking in are "Chastity", "Edge Play", and "Foot Fetish". In any given week, I will put those to use. 
3. I can attend classes for kinks I don't know much about yet, and "advertise" for those types of calls by blogging about what I've learned and inviting interested callers to test-drive me to see how I do!

I try to blog every day, so blogging once per week about what I'm learning at Kink Academy should be simple. In fact, it's kind of a win-win no-brainer for me... I watch a class and leave comments, and take notes on what I learned, wait for the next relevant call to use the techniques and ideas from the class, and then follow up with the caller's response. The blog posts would write themselves. It sort of feels like it's cheating, but I'm fine with being easy! 

I know my readers will appreciate glimpses into what I learn. I often hear from callers who read my blog that they are fascinated to learn about the variety of kinky conversations I have, and they appreciate the exposure and information. Kink Academy knowledge could only add to that enjoyment.

Whether or not I am chosen to be one of your Student Bloggers, I'm sure I'll be sending knowledge-hungry kinksters your way.

(but seriously, pick me! pick me!)

Galiana

P.S. FYI for regular blog readers: How did I find out about this? I've been happily following Mistress Magick on Twitter -- @Mistress_Magick and http://www.male-service.com/ - who seems to have a great pulse on kink education. She also is fantastic at using Twitter to reinforce the obedience of Her sissies and servant-men-in-training... Anyway, She had the link in Her Twitter feed. Thank You, Mistress!

New Page: Stuff To Buy

I am very happy to announce: I put up a page on this blog with all of my items to buy on it ! Please feel free to browse the oh-so-un-subtly named: Stuff To Buy page.

(side note: Whew! Yay me! It feels like I have crossed something major off my to-do list which I've wanted to do for a long time. It's a drag that I had the time today because the phones were pretty slow all day, but yay that it's done!)


Each item has a picture, and that picture is the link to buy the thing.

All items are payable through NiteFlirt, so you need a NiteFlirt account to buy them (NiteFlirt is secure and confidential, takes less of a percentage cut than many adult pay-to-view payment processors, and new customers get 3 minutes free on sign-up).

Even though all my items are also listed at MyFlirtStore.com, I find myself frustrated at the inability to re-sort the items so they appear in the order that makes sense to me.

Also, on a completely practical note, my next big undertaking is to personalize my listings with targeted pay-to-views where possible, so I wanted to gather all the pay-to-view code in one place, instead of having to scrounge through offerings and build the HTML listing-by-listing.

I feel like this is one step in a season of infrastructure-building in my fledgling adult career. It feels like maybe I have sat back and observed enough, and I am now ready to roll out the pieces which make sense for me... all at once... all bazillion of them...

Which is probably why my blog has recently felt like a series of posts alternating between "Hey, look what I did!" followed by "Zoikes! There are so many things I want to do!" I think it's because I have a sense of where to go from here, but I'm trying to pace myself and be satisfied with doing just one or two things each day.

Wish me luck: pacing myself has never been my strong suit.

Enjoy the new page!

Being My Self/Selves

My Inner Dialogue has a constantly looping series of thoughts that go approximately like this:

Inner Worrier: What if someone finds me through a Mistress listing, and it turns them off to see picture packages of me being submissive?

Inner Voice of Reason: Every successful Domme has the same advice: Be yourself. So sometimes we're submissive, that's who we are. If it turns someone off, they're not meant for us. We wish them well elsewhere.

Inner Pleaser: We should make a listing specializing in (fill in a fetish I enjoy...)) because those people can't find us now.

Inner Voice of Reason: Creating and updating listings is not our strong suit. We have more than enough to do now. When we're done with those, we can think about creating more.

Inner Attention Slut: Blogging is fun! So we should make a micro-blog for each of our specialties and blog about each specialty every day!

Inner Voice of Reason: The blog is not currently driving traffic to our phone sex listings -- our phone sex listings are currently driving traffic to our blog. So micro-blogging would probably just result in more places to feel like we're falling behind.

Inner Jealousy Monster: Look at her site! And hers! And hers! Look, none of these Dommes offer naked pictures of themselves. And look, none of these phone sex operators show their face! And look, these divas are making dozens of fetish clips! We should be as good as all of them all at once!

Inner Voice of Reason: We can't be everything. We have to pick. We have to do our thing. And we have to do it well.

Inner Cast: (panicking) OGOD OGOD OGOD, WE DON'T HAVE A "THING"! WE DON'T DO ANYTHING WELL! AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH! 

Inner Voice of Reason: Shhhhhh. We do. Take a deep breath and I'll tell you.

(Inner Cast breathes into paper bags)

Inner Voice of Reason: We talk on the phone well. When we're on the phone, we listen well. We pay attention well. We're empathetic. We can pick up instructions and run with them creatively. We bring imagination and creativity and joy into this thing we do, and we make it interactive erotica.

Inner Voice of Reason: (continued) ... And we blog well. We blog honestly. We show people what we love about the job, and what frustrates us, and how our insecurities can make us crazy in this job, just like they could make us crazy in every other job we've ever had, because the insecurities don't care what your job is. We show people how we can usually overcome them, and focus on the positive, ego-boosting parts of the job, and often figure out how to relax and enjoy ourselves. We show people that sluts who love sex can make a successful transition into being dirty talkers for a living by enjoying themselves and being honest.

Inner Slut: Fuck that. You know what you pussies need? To get slammed up against a wall and finger-fucked hard with a big strong hand around our throat and a deep voice growling in our ear to "Come. Hard. Now."

Inner Cast: (simultaneously) Wow... Yeah... Uhhuh... That would work... Whew... Agree!... Yes please....

Inner Voice of Reason: Thank you, Slut.

Inner Slut: No sweat.

Please note: The voices of insecurity have been exaggerated, at least slightly, for the sake of this post.

I would have thought that talking with dozens of men who adore different things about me would have eradicated all my insecurities. Don't get me wrong, it helps. It's great. I love it. I'm probably more confident overall now than I have ever been, and "lack of self-confidence" has rarely been a big problem of mine. Thank you all for that. It matters to me. Thank you.

But the crazy-making voices pop up still, from time to time.

Maybe some I day I will have a whole day where I am content to be myself, without having to talk myself down from some knee-jerk impulse driven by fear or insecurity or jealousy.

It's a lovely goal, isn't it?

December 20-28

Although I'll also update my calendar page, I thought I'd give you a heads-up on my holiday whereabouts.

• Mon Dec 20: going to the dentist, which means I'll be heavily medicated and need recovery time, so I probably won't be on at all, and if I am on, I'll have the remnants of a legal roofie (rufi? rufie?) in my system, so I'll likely be mostly incoherent, which, hey, is someone's fetish, right? That was a long-ass sentence right there, man. Heavy.
• Tue Dec 21: on like normal.
• Wed Dec 22: traveling to be with family, which also requires heavy medication. If I come online late at night, I'm likely to be ditzy as hell, but probably easily amused.
• Thu Dec 23-Mon Dec 27: since I'll have my own hotel room, I'll be on sporadically between and after social holiday festivities, hopefully unmedicated and fully coherent.
• Tue Dec 28: traveling back home, medicated, but happy.

That's the plan! I currently have no other travels planned whatsoever.

If I don't talk with you, I hope you have a good Christmas -- whether you celebrate it religiously, enjoy it as a cultural pleasantry, ignore it, or bah humbug it -- I hope you enjoy your experience of the next nine days thoroughly!

Search Terms

Because I love these posts so much when other bloggers do them (I genuinely do - I think they're fascinating and inevitably hilarious), here's a screen shot of a few ways people have found my blog via search:

 

The ones that make me laugh the most are: 

• "hypno girl cluck like a chicken" - which I understand from this post, but still cracks me up
• "where's the sluts" - which I remain inordinately proud of
• "sdfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdf sdfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdf" - LOLwut?!? That pattern of letters, while easy to type, appears nowhere on my blog (until now), and my blog does not appear on the first 10 pages of Google search results for the term. The world is such a random place.

The two that confuse me are the "zero visit" counts at the end. How could I have zero visits, when the report is supposed to be referring traffic which resulted in visits? My head hurts.

However, the search phrase "galiana chance naked" makes me irrationally happy. Someone wants to see me naked! Yay! Oh, wait, no... apparently zero people want to see me naked. Now I'm sad :(  

(side note: also maybe I shouldn't have had that turtle sundae after lunch because sugar crashes make me loopy... I have successfully avoided face expression emoticons on my blog until now, what does that tell you? Yeah, I dunno either, I was kinda hoping you'd know... )

Housekeeping for Feed Users

I wasn't getting data from people who were subscribed via feeds, so I redid my feedburner settings. If you're subscribed to me through a feed, just in case I mucked something up, please re-subscribe using this URL:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/blogspot/lTTmI

Thanks!

P.S. Yes, I know, if I mucked something up, they might not see this in their reader, but hopefully they'll wonder why I haven't posted and wander back to the site to check, and see this and fix it and it will all be lovely.

P.P.S. If you don't use an RSS feed / reader, but you rely on something like bookmarks to track your favorites, I think you're totally missing out. I strongly recommend you try it:
* Go to http://reader.google.com and log in with a Google ID
* Click "Add a subscription"
* Enter the URL of a blog you want to follow (example: http://galianachance.blogspot.com or http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com, my two personal favorites...)

Voila! You can see the last few posts from that feed, and tell which posts you have already read. So. Easy!

P.P.P.S. I went to see what the data looked like on the new feed, and it said "Your feed is so new, we're still playing with the bubble wrap" - isn't that adorable?!?

Sleep Rates Aha Moment

I said I was going to do sleep-rates sometimes (where I raise my rate when I'm asleep but willing to be awakened), blogged about it, put it on my calendar, did it for three nights, and then... didn't do it again. And I didn't know why I didn't want to keep doing it. Baffling.

From that day two weeks ago when I had my first sleep-rate success until this weekend, I've been blessedly busy on the phones. Yay! Fun new callers, great conversation with regular callers, everything a Phone Whore Attention Slut could want (feel free to call me P.W.A.S.).

Then suddenly, after changing nothing, the last twenty-four hours have been slow.  I've caught up on some chores, caught up with some friends, relaxed, and even napped a little.

And now, it's close to 10 pm, so I still have two or three hours to go before I sleep, but I'm facing fresh unused batteries in my vibrator and a mild feeling of rejection, and I'm thinking of having sleep-rates again tonight.

And aha! Now I know. There is a pattern. I have found it. And there was much rejoicing (yay).

Apparently, I want to do sleep-rates when I'm feeling a little bored, when I have a little extra energy, or when it's just been too many hours before bedtime since I've had an orgasm, and the thought of being awakened to have one sounds yummilicious.

Science has been done.