Sunday, December 11, 2011

Thoughts from an Energy Rebound

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, like when your old standby allergy medicines apparently interact with your vertigo medicines and you find yourself confused all the time and sleeping 14 hours in a row.

And then sometimes, life lobs you a softie, like when you follow your intuition on how to switch up your allergy treatments and find yourself fully energized again with wildly raging lust, having to practically pin your hands at your sides not to start masturbating from the moment you wake up.

I think maybe my favorite days are ones where I finally have that burst of ability again after a time of feeling limited. When the question, "Is this going to last forever?" is answered with a resounding "No, you dork. Not even close."

This morning, I woke up aching for the feeling of being held down by strong hands wrapped around my thighs, and a tongue exploring me. I rolled over in bed, hugging a pillow, my knees apart, savoring the thoughts without the touches.

And then I gave thanks, for energy, for libido, for the reassuring rush of warmth to my core, that urge that lets me know that my body is back in balance, that I may be lucky enough to be able to end my day with the gasping half-hearted resistance of a long-time caller who has a thing for me seducing him with my stockings... Or better yet, the encouraging murmurs of a caller who has become a good friend over the past year, thanking me for understanding his sexual peccadilloes as he drifts off to sleep, as if his proclivities hadn't just made both of us explode with breathless pleasure.

The day-long (week-long? month-long?) build-up was so very much worth the wait.

Even though I only took two calls tonight, I feel exhilarated, empowered, strong, and an absolute surge of sassyness for anyone daring enough to tangle with me. I knew enough to log out and head for bed when I started winding down; I can't push my luck on an energy rebound day, but I wanted to take a moment to record the feeling, the swirl of gratitude and lust and connection and happiness for the ability to do this thing I do as often as I can do it.

Sometimes I have felt so weak, so helpless, so unable to provide for myself, let alone for others. Being a phone sex operator, using my real pictures, sharing my honest words here on the blog, toying with sexual energy while focusing the whole world down to the voice in my ear... this makes me feel so alive, so strong, so useful, so beautiful.

Do you understand that I need you as much as you need me? Do you really?

Thank you. All of you. Thank you.

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